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I'm having sleep issues with ds (4 months this week). I guess I'm either looking for advice, or to be told his behavior is normal. basically, he is nowhere NEAR sleeping through the night. Now, that's OK with me. I know that many babies have a nightwaking (or more) until at least a year, often more. I don't expect to put him down and not hear a peep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/sleeping.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sleeping"> However, he is up A LOT at night. usually, his eyes don't even open, and he just cries, fusses or thrashes in his sleep. Sometimes I will try to pat him back to sleep, but usually I give him the boob. I mean, it's HOT here--he may not be hungry, but he could be thirsty, right? Some nights he'll sleep for a few hours, then wake every two hours or so. Some nights he barely makes it an hour before he wakes.<br><br>
Anyway, I need some advice on a few things. First of all, I'm having trouble figuring out when to put him to bed. Everything I've read/heard says babies like early bedtimes. Well, that's fine and all, but if I put him to bed before 9 he will almost always wake up, as if it were a nap, and want to play. That's fine for now, but I have to go back to work in a few weeks and I don't think playing at 12am is going to go over so well. Is it possible that he's just a nightowl? I've worried that he sleeps so poorly because he goes to bed too late and he's overtired, but he doesn't seem to like an early bedtime. Am I doing something wrong there? Or should I just toss the books, quit listening to people and go with what he's telling me--that early bedtimes are not for him? I just want to do what's best for him, and what will help him sleep well. And I'm afraid that with so many nightwakings, he really isn't sleeping well at all.<br><br>
OK, this leads me to the other thing. We cosleep and it's great, but I STILL don't know where I should be putting ds to sleep before we (I) go to bed! The crib is out--he wakes right up (fine, doesn't bother me). Sometimes we put him in the swing, but we can't do that forever. If I put him on our bed, i have to shut the door to keep the dogs from jumping on the bed, and it gets HOT in there. I guess I could try putting him on a blanket in the room where we are--I haven't done that yet. Do any of you have any suggestions? I'm at a loss.<br><br>
Oh, another thing. What do you all do when your babe wakes in the middle of the night, wanting to play? I've read (I know, again with the books) that you shouldn't make eye contact, keep everything dim, etc but if ds is up, he is UP and avoiding eye contact doesn't do anything. What should I do in that situation? Play with him? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/confused.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Confused">: Or try to get him back to sleep? (nurse, rock, whatever).<br><br>
My DH thinks he's just being a baby, and that I shouldn't put so much stock in what I read/hear. Maybe he's right...I just don't know why I'm stressing about this.<br><br>
Any advice, words of wisdom (even if it's just "stop stressing, it's normal!") will be GREATLY appreciated.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I don't have much advice b/c my DD (4.5 months) sleeps all night long most nights. You might try not giving your son as many naps during the day. My DD doesn't usually go to sleep until 9-9:30 at night. Also you could try to let your son play in the crib ~ no outside stimulation, it might calm him down to get him in the mood for going to sleep. If he cried that wouldn't work, but sometimes my DD just needs to wind down by playing by herself a bit, away from the normal part of the house she's in.<br><br>
Hope he learns to sleep better soon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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liam's mom<br><br>
Check out the thread in Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting for mom's of 6-9 month old frequent nightwakers. 4-5 months is when my dd's night sleep really began getting disturbed. You're definitely not alone. And by all means, join in there, even though your ds is not 6 months old yet. He will be before you know it, and likely he won't be sleeping soundly for another 5 months or so. I've heard that at 10 months - 1 yr old is when some babes start sleeping better.<br><br>
We have had some nights when dd has been up for a couple of hours during the night. I try to nurse/bounce her back to sleep for about 15 minutes. If it doesn't work and she is looking around with eyes wide open I give in and we get up for awhile. I give her a toy and just laze on the couch. She usually plays for a bit, then gets tired again and eventually the nursing/bouncing works to put her back to sleep. This is happening less frequently as dd gets older.<br><br>
I find that the later my dd goes to bed, the better I sleep because I can go to bed soon after. Whenever she falls asleep before 7:30 she treats it like a nap and wants to get up again. With your ds, it depends whether you'll have to get him up at a specific time when you go back to work. If you have a set wake-up time, it will likely push him into a bedtime that will give him 9 - 11 hours sleep. This will probably occur quite naturally.<br><br>
As for your hot bedroom, I'd get a couple of fans. The noise might make ds sleep better. A monitor will let you keep the door closed but allow you to hear his slightest movement, so you can go check on him. Push the bed up against the wall and put pillows around the far edge. It's highly unlikely ds could roll all the way across the bed and fall to the floor without you hearing anything.<br><br>
If you want to continue cosleeping, you will likely have to accept that your ds will nurse ALOT during the night for at least the next 5 months. If you can accept it and are able to get some decent sleep, then your ds will be fine. In fact, he'll probably be very happy.
 

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I have two boys and they are polar opposites when it comes to sleeping. My first slept through the night at three months and never looked back. He was a great napper and even at 2 and 3 years of age, he would tell me he was tired and put himself down for a nap.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> It was awesome!!!<br><br>
I got paid back severerly when the second arrived. He was a poor sleeper from the get go, but looking back, I think I contributed pretty heavily to it, though I do think he just has tendencies to fight sleep. I wasn't good about letting him take an actual morning nap since we were often out and about for my older ds, and the late afternoon nap sort of got overlooked too. I wasn't very consistent. He was also one of those kids who was up every 90 minutes to 2 hours at night. It wears on you fast. I'm not one of those people who can fall asleep while nursing so I was only averaging about 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night, but it wasn't in a row. By his first birthday I was beginning a battle with depression (though I didn't know it at the time) that lasted two years and landed me in the hospital. Sleep deprivation is hard on a body.<br><br>
Now, a month away from his third birthday, he is a sleep terror. Fights it every nap and every night -- he comes up with every excuse in the world not to go to sleep. He wakes still in the middle of the night and comes into my room, often several times a night. I have sleep issues of my own, so this is real tough on me. Plus, I'm pregnant and only getting 5 hours of sleep a day is really wearing on me.<br><br>
If you haven't read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth I recommend it. He does have some crying involved, but it was an interesting look into how we sleep the way we do, and how what we do affects how our babies sleep. You can take from it what you like and leave the rest. I'm re-reading it before the third gets here.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I'm also going to move this to the nighttime parenting forum for you.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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<b>You're not doing anything wrong.</b><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I guess I'm either looking for advice, or to be told his behavior is normal.</td>
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His behavior is normal. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My ds didn't ever sleep "through the night" when he was that age, and out of my friends' kids, I only know one baby who did. Waking at night is normal for babies.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I mean, it's HOT here--he may not be hungry, but he could be thirsty, right?</td>
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He could be thirsty, though at 4 months old, it's perfectly normal for him to be hungry at night too. My ds had several nighttime nursings at that age.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Or should I just toss the books, quit listening to people and go with what he's telling me--that early bedtimes are not for him?</td>
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I think you nailed it. If it doesn't work for your baby, that's fine. Babies can't read all those books that the "experts" wrote about them, which I guess is why most babies don't fit that mold.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">but I STILL don't know where I should be putting ds to sleep before we (I) go to bed!</td>
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Whenever he'll let you. Seriously though, whether you put him to bed before you or when you guys do only matters if you need to do it to get some time to yourselves. Otherwise, your ds doesn't need you to do it. He'll sleep without you there eventually.
 

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Hi Liam's Mom. I just wanted to say that I could have written your post. You and I are going through the exact same things and questions regarding our babies. My little boy is 3 months 3 weeks old and he is up every hour some nights or at best 3 times a night.<br><br>
I have no solutions. I have found that if my little guy doesn't get his daytime naps, he often sleeps worse at night! And, my baby does that middle of the night play thing too. He usually wakes up at 4:00 a.m. all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed giggling and cooing at me. Cute as can be but it's not the time to play!<br><br>
I have a cd with white noise which I will turn on, loud, during the night if he is getting wired and can't fall back to sleep. Between the cd and nursing, I usually get him back to sleep. I have no idea why this happens because other nights he just sleeps, wakes up for a few minutes, nurses and then sleeps. It's magic when this happens.<br><br>
I think I will check out the thread for the 6 month old night wakers. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My baby sounds identical to yours!
 
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