Mothering Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
104 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am still early days, but already contemplating what I want for this birth. With Delilah, I didn't really have a "plan." I was in the military, and took the only class that was offered, which was a Red Cross lamaze type class. I ended up getting an intrathecal (walking epidural) which led to pitocin, then it wore off while I was still on pitocin, baby had some signs of distress so I couldn't get any other anesthesia... which sucked and I wished I had never had any to begin with. So, with Stephen, I was pretty committed to the idea of a drug free birth. DH agreed...we took Bradley classes and I also did Hypnobabies. Unfortunately, he died and I had to be induced so I just got the epidural.

Now, DH is insisting that I have a scheduled C-section. My CNM is very sympathetic to our situation and she said that although there is no medical reason to do so, I could have a scheduled section or induction at 39 weeks. I mostly think this is a terrible idea. I mostly still believe that giving birth is a natural process and that my body knows how to do it. I mostly believe that most babies live. BUT there's a part of me that deeply regrets not taking my OB up on the offer to induce just shy of 40 weeks with Stephen. Had I done so, he'd most likely be here.

I just want to make the choice that will leave me with the fewest regrets, as this is almost certainly my last baby.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,940 Posts
This is something I think about a lot...

I was induced with my son and while the labor and birth wasn't "bad" at all, it wasn't what I had in mind. So when I got pregnant with my daughter, I had very exact ideas about how I wanted things to go. And then she died and I was induced (though had a very "nice" peaceful labor and birth considering...) But yeah... that changed everything about the way I view pregnancy and birth.

In a perfect world, I'd be pregnant until I go into labor on my own and then I would have a beautiful, natural birth... But in my world, my anxiety kind of cancels that out and I'm at the point where I am open to whatever gets this baby into my arms safely, whatever the method ends up being when that time comes. I mean, I definitely have an ideal birth in my mind, and if it's possible for me later on, that will be great! But if I'm induced, or have a c-section, as long as this baby comes into the world pink and breathing, I really don't care how it happens!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,161 Posts
I spend hours a day thinking about this. Especially the closer it gets to the end.

My first was a UC, my second was a planned UC turned car birth in the hospital parking lot.

I flip flop so much on what I want for this birth. I truly want another peaceful UC, but some moments I want to schedule an induction or a c-section at 37 weeks just to get it over with and get her out of my body where I don't feel like she is safe.

Planning a birth after loss has proved the be the hardest part of PAL for me. I am just so unsure of everything, and I have so much fear and emotion clouding my judgement. Its hard to figure out what is fear and what is intuition nowadays.

I doubt I'll know until I'm actually in labor what I am going to do. I am going to write a hospital birth plan, a c-section birth plan and then prepare otherwise for a homebirth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
I think a lot about this too so I'll follow along and see what others opinions are. I've had a traumatic c-section that gave me nightmares afterwards and a few years later I had a beautiful, easy labor and birth with my full-term loss who passed away at 1 day old (I apologize for not writing out the story just yet but I'm just not quite ready). I know I'll most likely go past my due date with any other children if I wait for labor and both my loss and previous c-section make me a candidate to sign up for a repeat c/s. Unfortunately, my birth and medical history makes me a poor candidate for induction. Also, I know both sides now (vaginal and c/s) and although I would do anything to have my baby here with me, I'm not sure how to get my head in a place where I'm able to schedule a c/s. Plus if something bad happens during the c-section I feel like I'd be able to blame myself even more because I chose that route, if that makes sense? And I know c-sections increase risks to future children (including the risk of stillbirth, sigh). So it doesn't seem like there IS a right answer and obviously that right decision is different for each woman. Part of me hopes that things will work out no matter what I plan because *knock on wood* I really can't be unlucky enough to lose another baby
gloomy.gif
I'm not currently pregnant but I'm guessing I'll be very much like Laura and not know until labor or pregnancy what my plans are.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top