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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been thinking about this a lot, & almost posted the question in the "Why Do You Homeschool" thread, but I didn't want to take it off topic... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Anyway. I hear all the time about what parents want their kids to be when they grow up- & for the most part, the parents want their kids to be "successful" which to them means RICH. They want their kids in the best preschools, so they can go to the best private or public schools, so they can get into the very best college & have a prestigious career.<br><br>
It is given as a reason for not homeschooling- what if our kid "just" wants to be a garbage man, or a mechanic, or a dog walker??? <i>Who cares?!</i> I honestly have NO preconceived ideas about what Joe will do some day. As long as he is happy, that's good enough for me. And I believe that being homeschooled in a relaxed manner will make it easier for him to choose a career path that will make him happy. I think it is so insulting when parents imply that working with your hands, or doing manual labor, is a fate worse than death...<br><br>
Anyway, this is kind of a disjointed ramble but I thought I'd get a dialogue started. Joe's dad went to college for 2+ years in Automotive Technology, & I can see that Joe has that same interest in cars & how they work etc... so if he chooses, at any time, to really take this seriously, & his dad gave him "on the job training," I would count this as homeschooling just as surely as Math or Science or Spelling...<br><br>
Discuss...
 

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I want my kids to be able to make their way in the world in ways that make them happy and healthy and in tune with the "greater" truths that my family values: we are all connected to one another and the earth so all deserve respect and care. I want my kids to be able to discern between truth and b*llsh*t. I want my kids to see how some truth is absolute and lots of truth shifts with time, space and pressure.<br><br>
I want my kids to know themselves--even as they change, grow and reach beyond their comfort zones. I want them to have a solid sense of their own reality, even as they continue to learn about the world. I want them to have and give love.<br><br>
Whatever sets of information that will lead them to all of these things, I want them to get in their own ways and in their own time as it is meaningful and appropriate for their very own brilliant, individual path on this earth. That may mean they will learn algebra in a few years...and it may mean that they won't.<br><br>
Mostly I want them to be able to hold on to their very keen sense of curiosity and delight in the world--I think everything else they need will flow from that.<br><br>
"This I believe." a la NPR. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>joesmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8161590"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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It is given as a reason for not homeschooling- what if our kid "just" wants to be a garbage man, or a mechanic, or a dog walker??? <i>Who cares?!</i> I honestly have NO preconceived ideas about what Joe will do some day. As long as he is happy, that's good enough for me. And I believe that being homeschooled in a relaxed manner will make it easier for him to choose a career path that will make him happy. I think it is so insulting when parents imply that working with your hands, or doing manual labor, is a fate worse than death...</div>
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I want my DS to know a trade and have the ability to do hands on things such as car mechanics or carpentry. I think those are valuable skills to have. <i>However</i>, coming from a working class, low income family, I can definately say that I've seen that kind of lifestyle and it's not what would be my first choice for DS. I want him to live up to his capabilities, and not to sound like a snob, but I feel he's capable of doing something greater than picking up trash. So I do plan on educating him in a way that will prep him for college. I certainly wouldn't be hearbroken though if he doesn't even make it to college. As long as he can think critically and ariticulate and form his own intelligent opinions I'll be satisfied. You need those skills no matter what job you have. My main hope is that he becomes a mature, responsible, adult who loves life and lives it to its fullest. I don't really care what kind of job he has, as long as he is capable of paying his own bills. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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I want my child to maintain her love of learning. I want her to be at peace with whatever life decisions that she makes. I want her to be a part of a caring community in which she is comfortable being exactly who she is, rather than trying to be who somebody else thinks she should.
 

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Happiness and peace with themselves. I know that is sort of cliche, but if it's said a lot it's because it's a really neat thing to want for someone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I can't lie. I do want my kids to have better financial stability than I have know and raised them with. But, what that will mean to them and how they get their is not something I can decide for them. If one of them grows up to work as a sanitation worker and they are happy so be it. I encourage them to think about what they want, what they see themselves doing, what they hope for in the future, and what they hope to avoid too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My goal as a homeschooler is to provide my children with the tools to learn and achieve anything they want and need. I am less concerned with the facts they know and more concerned that they know how to get the facts they need.<br><br>
I try very hard not to develop any ideas about what they will be or what they want to be when "they grow up".<br><br>
I do hope that they will be financially stable. However, I do not apply a set value to that. I simply want them to live comfortably within their means. If they want to be a "starving artist" that is great, as long as they don't try to live like a CEO.<br><br>
I hope that when they reach the end of their HSing time they will have a strong idea of who they are and what they want to do. I try to give them every opportunity to explore their interests.<br><br>
I guess these are more hopes, then goals.<br><br>
My GOAL is to provide them WHAT they need, WHEN they need it and HOW they need it, with no need to know WHY they need it.
 

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Hmmm, I want my kids to grow up to be kind, thoughtful, well-rounded, to be true to themselves and stand up for what they believe in. As for what they do for a living, I hope they choose something they are passionate about. I'm not that worried about the $ part, as long as they can make an ok living, I think they will be happy. If they make a lot of $, doing something they enjoy, then that is great too, but I'm truly not worried about the $ part. I have a lot of friends and family who are quite well off, and some of them are the unhappiest ppl I know, and I know that almost of them chose their professions based on how much $ they would make, not how much they would like their job. Unfortunately, the majority of my family's definition of success = making lots of $.
 

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I figure that I will probably treat them as if they are going to college after high school (tech school, community college, or university) and if they don't, it really wouldn't bother me. I want for my kids to pick what they want to do rather than having to settle into something or just take something to get by. But that could be a stay-at-home-parent or massage therapist or doctor or politician (ok, but I have to say, there are certain political parties that I just couldn't accept them working with!), etc. I have no idea what my kids will do for jobs or even what financial class they will be in.... what an interesting ride it will be getting there.
 

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i don't have ideas for what i'd like mine to be. but as the same time, "happy" isn't something I'd say is my ultimate hope for them either.<br><br>
there are lots of happy, horrible people in the world.
 

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I have too many goals for my kids to list them, but I hope that my children will be independent thinkers who understand how their actions can impact the rest of the world and who act on that understanding in a way that improves the world. I hope that they are kind, empathetic, passionate, enjoyable people. I hope that they grow up to remember their childhoods fondly.<br><br>
dm
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dharmamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8164004"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I hope that they grow up to remember their childhoods fondly.</div>
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<span>Oh yes, definitely this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></span>
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Yeah, I should have said dreams, or wishes, rather than goals. I don't have goals set for Joe... but I want him to grow up to do something he LOVES & is good at. I want him to be happy, & good. I want him to wake up each day excited & happy about going to work.<br><br>
I know too many people who work 50+ hours a week, so they can have more STUFF, & then they are at work so much they are never home to enjoy all the stuff they have. I want Joe to live a modest but happy existence, rather than an excessive, angry one, if that makes sense...<br><br>
I also want him to let me live with him always, & babysit his children when his wife is busy. That isn't too much to ask, right?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I want to write my own ideas, so I haven't read the thread, yet. They may not be very articulate since I should be sleeping, though. LOL<br><br>
First and foremost, my goals for my children are for them to enjoy their lives. I want them to become who they are meant to be, not stamped out by societal forces.(I'm not sure I worded that correctly.) I mainly want my kids to do what is in their heart to do. I don't want them to be something b/c it's what society says is a good career/job. I want them to have the ability to make fully informed decisions and question everything and dig deeper when necessary. I don't want them blindly following anyone, myself included. I also want them keep an open mind. Did I answer the question? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
We tell our kids that they can be whatever it is they want to be. If it's important enough to them, they will make it happen. DH and I like to joke around and speculate about what we think they might be one day. It changes as they grow. I think it's natural to think ahead and make guesses, and it's fun.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I'm careful never to say anything to them like, "You should be ______."<br><br>
ETA: I started reading the thread and have to add that I really want my girls to go to college. I won't be upset or make them feel bad for choosing a different path, but we are planning on them going to college, even just for one semester, even just for the experience. I don't care what they ultimately do as a career(I include homemaker as a career.) as long as they enjoy it. I really regret not having a college experience. I also really, really, don't want them to get PG before they are ready and maybe even after having lived a little as an independent adult...unlike myself.<br><br>
I'm also stealing this:
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I do hope that they will be financially stable. However, I do not apply a set value to that. I simply want them to live comfortably within their means. If they want to be a "starving artist" that is great, as long as they don't try to live like a CEO.</td>
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It's like it was taken right out of my brain. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Yeah, my kids asked me my opinion on college and I told them that I thought it was a great idea. I didn't get to go back in the day, and I wish I had. I realize though that that was my life, and they were my issues. Like MonicaS mentioned above, I'd never freak out if they didn't go, but I have recommended it for a variety of reasons.
 

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Gosh! This is really hard to answer!<br><br>
What do I want for my kids? Hmmmm.....<br><br>
Well, I want them to live a meaningful life (whatever that means to them personally).<br><br>
I want them to do whats right, even if it isn't easy or popular.<br><br>
I want them to feel they are successful, even if that means they are a garbage man.<br><br>
I would love to see them go on to college and finish (unlike their mother or father) but I won't be devastated if they don't.<br><br><br>
I agree that when most parents I know IRL (and some online) say they want thier child to be *successful* they mean financially well off and having the *best* of everything. I really don't think of that as success. I know plenty of well off people who are miserable and can't get out. Why would I want that for my child? If what they choose to do with their life makes them happy and fulfilled and live a moral life then I will have done my job. If they make big bucks that's a bonus <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Of course, I want my children to be happy, empathetic, creative, independent thinkers, and a whole bunch of other stuff.<br><br>
But to address the "career" issue directly, my greatest hope for them is that they can be successfully self-employed, eventually.<br><br>
My dad was self-employed, as was my FIL, and for the past two years dh has been self-employed. Yeah, we pay a lot for health insurance, and there are plenty of hassles involved. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I really don't want a child of mine to be dependent on corporate America for a paycheck.<br><br>
Much of our homeschooling will be aimed at equipping our children to run their own enterprise. Even if they choose to work for someone else, the background will serve them well.
 

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my ultimate goal is to instill a <i>lifelong</i> love of learning in my kiddos.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Luckiestgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8166423"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Of course, I want my children to be happy, empathetic, creative, independent thinkers, and a whole bunch of other stuff.<br><br>
But to address the "career" issue directly, my greatest hope for them is that they can be successfully self-employed, eventually.<br><br>
My dad was self-employed, as was my FIL, and for the past two years dh has been self-employed. Yeah, we pay a lot for health insurance, and there are plenty of hassles involved. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I really don't want a child of mine to be dependent on corporate America for a paycheck.<br><br>
Much of our homeschooling will be aimed at equipping our children to run their own enterprise. Even if they choose to work for someone else, the background will serve them well.</div>
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All of the above.<br><br>
I would hate for my kids to work all their lives in a job they hated because they were stuck having to make money to meet basic life expenses. To that end, we are putting aside money for them so that they do not have to pay for college (and hopefully grad school) if they choose to go.<br><br>
Also --<br><br>
We want both of them to have a healthy respect for other cultures and belief systems. To foster that respect, we want them to learn a few languages, and they have begun that process already (both my young-uns have a healthy start in Spanish and in ASL, and they both like to watch Chinese language tapes).<br><br>
We want them to have at least a basic understanding of the "hard" sciences. By the way, for you adults (and the tweens and teens), I'd recommend Natalie Angier's new book, The Canon. Excellent. Just fantastic.<br><br>
We want them to be financially wise. Check our Rich Dad, Poor Dad by R. Kiyosaki if you ever get the chance.<br><br>
And, um, we want them to have a life for themselves before they commit to marriage and children.<br><br>
That's all I can think of for now...
 

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I think that making my kids' happiness my goal would be so very lame.<br><br>
Happiness is a decision.<br><br>
I've seen strippers on Jerry springer say that it's OK to leave their kids in the care of drug dealers while they bare it all for bill money because they're "happy"<br><br>
I want my kids to know who they are, to make decisions based on deeply held moral convictions and a sense of fairness and an a genuine desire to make the world a better place.<br><br>
How could they NOT be happy devoting each day to bettering themselves and their world.<br><br>
I have no preconceived notions about my kids' careers either, but I know that it's my job to provide them with opportunities and options. It would be just as wrong for me to force them into medical school as it would be to allow them to spend 12 hours a day playing video games.<br><br>
Childhood is about discovering who you are and where you fit into the world. How can you find those answers and grow into your best self when you're only exposed to a fraction of the possibilities?<br><br>
I believe that an adult who is guided by their morals and a desire to contribute to society is also successful. Success is one of my goals for my children. The world is full of lazy failures who watch the world go by feeling helpless and victimized. My kids will not be one of those reactionary, guided by nothing fools
 
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