[lotus.blossom]

Whats the plan for your babies and sleep? I know its hard to plan for these things. DS1 coslept in our bed for almost 2 years, which was an absolute MUST in the beginning because I couldn't lift him from the pack n play next to our bed with my c/s incision.

While I am a big promoter of cosleeping, I have to admit- I am not the most graceful nighttime parent and I struggled with a lof of nighttime rage. I sacrificed my own comfort for that of my son. I'd like to strike a balance this time around.

My bed is just a boxspring + mattress on the floor (eventually we will have a platform bed) and I plan to have a crib a few feet away from the bed. Part of me wants to sidecar the crib but I don't know if it'll match the levels (we have yet to buy a new crib) and I know the newby will be in our bed for a while at first. But I am really hoping to be able to have my own space this time and have a baby who will sleep without being tucked in my armpit all night. For my own sanity!

 

[ScootchsMom]

I co-sleep with DD still in her bed still. Since the kids will be sharing a room for a while, we set the crib up in DD's room and I have a co-sleeper for those first few weeks. I would love it if this one would nap in his crib or the co-sleeper, or at least in the sling or carrier. Other than having stuff set up, we'll just do whatever works at the time like we did with DD.

 

[russianthistle]

We have a queen and a twin pushed against each other and against the wall. We co-sleep w/ ds (3), still, and plan to continue. This is what I have more concerns about than almost anything else...when I'm awake at night, I try to imagine me, ds, and baby...where does dp go???????? It'll work out is what I tell myself. We're just going to be one happy family in one (really two) big bed.

Oh, I have a thing, I'm not sure what to call it, to prevent anyone from rolling over on baby. It's like two big huge round things that lie on either side of the baby to keep him/her from rolling and to keep others from rolling on him/her. Hopefully, it goes as gracefully as it went w/ ds.

 

[Kelly1101]

I'm planning a bassinet by the bed, at least until she sleeps through the night. I'm too wild a sleeper to want her actually in the bed with me, but I don't want to have to get up and go into the other room every time she wakes up to be fed.

After she starts sleeping longer stretches, may move the bassinet/crib into another room... just because I DO want to make her some siblings... *ducks*

 

[russianthistle]

I don't mean to poke fun at your ideas of sleeping, Kelly...but my baby didn't sleep through the night until he was like...a-hem...two. Be open to things being different than you think right now. I think that a lot of moms imagine and look forward to sleeping through the night and things like that, but in some cases, it's just not realistic to think that babies really sleep through the night for a LONG time...a lot longer than most might imagine.

Oh, and co-sleeping doesn't always mean celibacy

I'm not saying that you need to hop on my bus and decide that you need to co-sleep. I'm just suggesting that you be open to quick changes in plan once baby arrives

 

[Xerxella]

We had DS in our bed for the first 6 months. Then when he started getting real squirmmy, I just needed my sleep. We moved him to a crib in his own room and the transition was real smooth. Way smoother than I thought it would go. He, of course, still woke up 2-4 times a night, but I felt better getting some sound (if interupted) sleep. Slowly, he just started waking up less and less.

We'll do the same thing this time around. But, this time I have a side car from my sister, so we'll try to add that and see how it goes. Hopefully, this one will sleep through the night by about 6 weeks. (hahahah, oh, I'm just killing myself here, hahahaha)

 

[j_p_i]

I have planned to co-sleep, though I'm not sure for how long. We will also have a bassinet by the bed, and a crib in her own room for when she's older. I don't worry about me, so much... but my DH! He's started sleeping in the middle of the bed and inching over my way, so I worry there won't be room for all of us. I don't know if we'll put baby in the middle or on my side, because he's started sleeping with his hands behind his head, elbows out, and will occasionally jab me in the night! Maybe it'll change when he senses the baby in the bed too. I mentioned this to him recently and his sleeping position has actually gotten better.

He's easy enough to move over, and perhaps I am worrying over nothing, but this will be our first co-sleeping experience and I've very dedicated to doing it this way at first. We have a queen size bed that I would love to upgrade, but it just isn't practical right now.

 

[russianthistle]

jpi,
my dp sleeps, often, the same way! I think the first time moms will be surprised to find how sensitive both you and your partners are to having a new baby in bed with you. I know I was amazed.

 

[Miasmamma]

DD is doing better about staying in her bed until DH gets up for work, so I plan on having the baby sleep with us. I will however plan on the baby being between DH and myself so that DD can get in with us and not accidently hurt the baby. I don't want her to feel that the baby is a reason that she can't still sleep with us. She does sleep with us at least 2 nights a week.

 

[Ldavis24]

DD will be in a bassinet next to my side of the bed. DH is a big fella and with the two of us in the bed there isn't an inch of room for DD that I would be comfortable with so this is our solution. She will stay in our room for quite a while, I don't know how long, haven't really thought that far ahead.

 

[~Katie~]

We've co-slept with DS from birth and will continue to do so with this baby. There was a brief stint with the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper but it ended up being a lot easier to just stick him in the bed with us. We currently have a king and twin pushed together, DS started sleeping on the twin around 12 months old but still ends up in our bed depending on whether he wants to cuddle or not. After DH leaves I'm thinking of just using the king bed with me in the middle of both kids but we shall see since DS tends to sleep horizontally across the bed now

At 19 months DS still wakes up 1-10 times a night depending on the phases of the moon and what the neighbor's had for dinner that night (in other words, they pretty much wake up at night indefinitely for the rest of your life, or so it seems). When he was night nursing and especially during the newborn/infant period I would have lost my mind if I actually had to get up out of the bed as many times as he woke.

 

[JD5351]

I'm buying a bassinett from my best friend's sister. That will go in our room until we're ready to move him over to the other room. Sweetie and I barely fit in the bed as it is, unless we were to buy a king size which isn't an investment we're able to make right now.

 

[triplembride]

we co-slept for the entire night for 16 mos, then we gave ds his own twin size bed in his room, we still would parent him to sleep (still do) and then upon his first waking dh goes and gets him and brings him to our room for the remainder of the night, some nights he makes it all the way through, and some nights he doesnt we dont really care either way

with the new baby, she'll definitely be in our room/bed/co-sleeper whatever works out best, if she likes her own space fine, if not fine, but depending on how sensitive dh and ds are to her getting up and nursing at night will depend on if dh continues to bring ds to our room on the first waking or if dh just goes to ds' room and just stays there until he has to get up for work at 4:30am so while we have ideas for what will happen, of course we know that those ideas could all be thrown out the window once she gets here and we figure out what really works best and what doesnt.

 

[JamieCatheryn]

We have a queen bed and a little boy who likes to join us at night still, but I don't expect baby to sleep easily anywhere besides with us. What with the wakings every 1-3 hours to nurse, plus all night sessions for growth spurts, teething periods, and so on, and the way any little jostling like putting down in a bassinet will usually wake an infant...trying to sleep separately is more work and more awake time for me than it's worth. So, we're trying to get our 3 year old to stop coming to our bed in the night, we put a small bed in our room so if he comes into our room at 2am (usually does), we can put him there. Good compromise so far, he really prefers to be near us still.

We do have a bassinet and will have a bouncer seat, on occasion I'm sure the LO will sleep for a stretch in those.

 

[Sadie Lake]

As I was reading through all the responses, almost everyone had something I wanted to quote!

This baby will just cosleep with us like dd did and still does. For her 2nd birthday last April, we got her a toddler bed at IKEA and pulled it up next to our bed. We'd put her to bed (nurse and read, then when we weaned in the fall, just read) in it but she'd always come into our bed during the night.

Then she slept through the night ONCE, and it must have really freaked her out because she wouldn't even go to sleep in her bed anymore! So, after 3 or so more months of having her bed there taking up space in our room and not getting used, (and either dh or myself having to crawl to the bottom of the bed to get out) we decided to give in and just get a king (we had been in a queen) and put her bed in her room (mostly for space-saving purposes).

So, it'll be the 4 of us in our king.

I will say though that I hope to transition BOTH girls to a big bed in another room when this baby is around 15 or so months old. I think they'd go together better than one at a time. And, I think I want to night wean A LOT earlier this time than with Zoe. I don't think she'll be out of our bed before then anyway, she's just that kind of kid.

Sadie

 

[Sadie Lake]

Oh yeah!

I wanted to make one more comment about sex life with cosleeping baby!

We actually found that with dd, it was easier to just do it while she was sleeping over on her other side of the bed! Surprisingly, she woke up LESS that way than if we tried to do it in another room (when she would inevitably wake up and cry right in the middle).

It made things a lot easier on us, believe it or not!

Sadie

 

[Sadie Lake]

Wow, preggo brain!

April, I also wanted to say that I can totally identify with being a not-so-gracious co-sleeping mama! There'd be nights I was so tired that I'd actually throw a mini temper tantrum like a 3 year old! I'd throw the covers and pout and act like a total idiot. Not a highlight of my motherhood for sure!

So, I know what you mean. That's why I plan to night wean a lot earlier, and probably move baby out of our bed a lot sooner.

But, I thought dd would be out sooner too. She just has one of those personalities that hasn't made that a real option for us. She still has at least one meltdown daily because I won't carry her around the house!

Sadie

 

[RomanGoddess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by russianthistle I don't mean to poke fun at your ideas of sleeping, Kelly...but my baby didn't sleep through the night until he was like...a-hem...two. Be open to things being different than you think right now. I think that a lot of moms imagine and look forward to sleeping through the night and things like that, but in some cases, it's just not realistic to think that babies really sleep through the night for a LONG time...a lot longer than most might imagine.

But it's precisely co-sleeping that keeps babies waking up in the night to nurse. Sears and McKenna both acknowledge this in the literature and consider it a GOOD thing because that's how you keep up milk supply and prevent SIDS in the early months.

My first slept 5 hours stretches at 6 weeks, in her own room. From 4 months onwards she was sleeping 8 hour stretches (from 8PM to 4AM), still in her own room. Babies who sleep in their own room do generally sleep for longer periods of time at once, not necessarily 12 hour nights but longer than babies right next to mom.

This time, we have an Arm's Reach because we have no extra room for baby.

 

[CanBoo]

DD did quite a bit of musical bed. We had a bassinet and then her playpen nearby our bed from the start.
She slept in it until she woke up, then I fed her. Sometimes she went back to it; sometimes she stayed with us after that...
(She needed swaddling, and I did not feel safe to have her swaddled while co-sleeping)
Then around 2-3 months, we realized that we were waking her up... (Brain dead exhausted parents: hear the baby make noise, pick her up, change diaper before the feed, and then realize that she is still asleep, she was just making noise in her sleep) So this is when she moved to a crib in her room, this way we were only hearing her when she was truly awake. Nursed her to sleep, put her in the crib, sometimes she slept through, sometimes she woke up and came to bed with us... She got a big bed around 15 months, but it is still pretty much the same routine to this day at 28 months. In average, she ends up with us about 2x a week.

I am planning on doing pretty much the same. We will set up a playpen and baby will sleep in our room (in the play pen and in our bed) until he/she sleeps reasonably well and will not wake up DD too much (they will share room). Who knows if this is going to take 2 months or 2 years...

I am just wondering how it is going to go when they both end up with us...

 

[Amydoula]

We'll be doing a co-sleeper in our room for the first few months, then baby will be in a crib. We're not bedsharers here, although I am very supportive of the practice.