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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ds is 18 months old. He has always been an expectionally easy baby/toddler to put to bed. We would read book, cuddle, sing a song and I would lay him down, he would be drowsy, but awake. Then, I wouldn't hear anything else from him.

Now, he has done a complete 180 on me. He will not go to sleep unless I am lying beside him. If I try to even move an inch before he is FULLY asleep, he completely freaks outs. It takes me 1-1.5 hours to get him to sleep. Once he is asleep, he is fine.

Naps are even worse. The only way I can get him to sleep for longer than an hour is in the car or if I take a nap with him, which is not always possible for me.

BUT, when my mom or dad puts him down for a nap or to bed, he is fabulous, this is just for me.

A bit of background info, that I know is probably playing a part in this situation: ds and I just moved back to the US, 3.5 weeks ago, from the Netherlands. We are currently living with my parents.

What can I do? Any thoughts or suggestions?

Thanks!
 

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Unless you are willing to let him cry it out, it sounds like you may be doing all that you can do.

While I'm sure it's a factor about the move and just being kind of unsettled, I'm sure it is not easy.
A quick fix it to have your parents put him down for bed.... but that may just be avoiding the problem.
I would guess that this is just a "phase" and that you are doing the right thing by staying with him until he falls asleep....... but I really don't know what to tell you about how long it will/could go on, and how to "wean" him off that independance on you. Hmm.
Sorry I am not much help at all, I guess. Hope others can help you more. Good luck.
 

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That's a huge transition he's just endured. Moving is ranked as the most stressful situation, above divorce and loss of a loved one, on the stress scale used by mental health practitioners. Many don't realize this. I would just support him and ride it out. I'll bet he'll get back to normal in a few weeks. Worse comes to worst, you can try something then, but I would wait until he's come through the transition.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by alliegad
how to "wean" him off that independance on you. .
This is not something I want either, nor is CIO.

I know this transition is hard on him, it is also hard on me.

So, moving and divorce are at the top of the stress scale, huh? Well, I guess you could say that I have killed 2 bird with one stone then, as my divorce was finalized the weekend before me moved back to the USA in December. Next time, I will try to space them out a bit more.


Thanks ladies for your replies.
 

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good point kchoffman
about the scale and moving and such... wow...
I forgot how that info stacked up.
and then, theres that 18 months time too; isnt that a big independence struggle time? It could be the need to be assured after all the new exciting things are going on in his life. I guess what it all comes down to is: kids know what they need
(a lot of the time, anyway)
so, big
to mama and little guy.... even when you're strong you need hugs.
Laura
 

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I agree that mostly you need to just hang in there through this rough stage but it might also be a good time to help him find a transitional item. When mine was about this age, we took a long vacation and it was nice to have his special blanket no matter where he had to sleep. When we got home, he continued to hang onto it. I never thought we would have a blankey but it has been really nice. He likes it in the car, when he just needs down time, when I am busy with the babe. Just putting it in his hands helps him calm down.
 

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The blankie is a really good idea! I think it was about 18 months when my DD started loving hers, too. She nurses with it, so it smells like me and she has to have it to go to sleep. Does your son still nurse? That closeness can really help him through these major changes in his life! ((((HUGS))))
to you both!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
He does have a blankie, it is the same blanket I used to always swaddle him in as an infant. It is his sign to me that he is tired or upset, as it is the first thing he grabs in such situations.

Sadly, I was never able to breastfeed.
I tried for 2 months, but my milk never came in, this was even after hormone nasal sprays and injections. It was a traumatic, abusive (by the doctor and nurse) birth. Plus, my X walked out right around this time. The lactation consultants, midwives, etc feel it was because of severe stress and anxiety.
 

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A divorce and an international move... I can see why your DS is having a hard time going to sleep alone. I'm surprised you are able to sleep through the night! I'm so sorry you and your little one are going through this terribly rough time. Take extra care of both of you right now.
 
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