What did you do as a parent that you didn't think you ever would?

2756 Views 52 Replies 52 Participants Last post by Nemmer, Oct 21, 2003

USAmma

Discussion Starter · Sep 29, 2003

Just thought this would make an interesting thread. I had thought I would follow all the AP things and everything would go so smoothly, but then there were some bumps in the road. For one I had major breastfeeding issues. Secondly I got an extremely spirited little firecracker as a daughter. So we made do. Coming from a very physically and emotionally abusive childhood I forgive myself a lot and just do the best I can, knowing it's still way better than what many kids go through.

I guess I just found my balance and when I started resenting certain things, I learned to stop being a perfectionist and just did the best I could.

-- Never thought I would give my baby bottles, but she ended up being a total bottle baby. At least it was my milk in the bottles for several months. Planning to pump again this time (long story) and hopefully for at least a year. Let's see.

-- Never thought I'd put my child in time-out repeatedly until she learned limits we had set for her (like not dancing on the kitchen table and not hitting)

-- Never thought I'd be glad when my child left the family bed, but I'm relieved that she's going to sleep on her own in her room and most of the time sleeps through the night. Still enjoy morning snuggles in bed but glad for the space otherwise. Planning to buy a cosleeper this time and hope new baby takes to it.

-- Never thought I'd need a baby swing. Ended up buying a wind-up for dd which came in much handier than I thought it would. Just bought the super deluxe cradle swing for this baby. Not planning on having her live in it like many babies do, but am planning to use it in order to cope with a toddler's needs at times.

-- Never thought I'd use the stroller as much as I did with dd. After my back gave out, and it got too hot for a sling in our AZ summers I used it more and more. Just bought a double to prepare for baby #2. But still LOVE the sling and will use it as much as possible.

How about anyone else?

Darshani

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Dodo

· #2 · Sep 29, 2003

I didn't think that I would bed-share, nurse a two-year-old or practice elimination communication. It's not so much that I opposed these practices but that I wasn't interested in them. Live and learn, eh?

Elphaba

· #3 · Sep 30, 2003

i never thought i would skip well-baby checkups and not vaccinate. i remember seeing pro-vax ads as a teen and thinking, what kind of negligent a-hole would not get their baby their shots!? apparently, THIS kind of negligent a-hole! :LOL

i honestly can't recall too many expectations i had about parenting. when i first read about AP, i thought, now THAT sounds like the way to go, and for the most part it's worked for us. we're still happily nursing at almost 2 years, we're doing the family bed thing, she was in close bodily contact with me for her entire infancy, and we're doing alright.

i have however been horrified at how angry i can get with her. like you, darshani, i come from a hellacious background. so it is very important to me to not be violent with her and i never understood how someone could hurt a baby. well, now i can see how it happens. at least i am self-aware enough to see my anger coming and 9 times out of 10 i can circumvent a blow up, but that other 1 time i scare myself by how much like my own mother i can be.

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BensMom

· #4 · Sep 30, 2003

Like Dodo...

Never thought I would co-sleep, never planned to nurse a child past the age of 1, never thought I would be as anti spanking as I am and I never thought I would cloth diaper. I am happy with how things have changed.

I also never thought I would be seriously considering homeschooling and a homebirth for my next child. We are surrounded by mainstream people, so all of these ideas are really "out there" to them (and to us, a few years ago.)

sohj

· #5 · Sep 30, 2003

Uh, apropros of the "cold" thread on this board....I never thought I would be sucking snot out of someone's nose.

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cielle

· #6 · Sep 30, 2003

Bottle feed
Pump exclusively for months on end
Not mind that my 2.5 yo still comes into our bed for part of the night (thought we'd stop cosleeping at 6 mo.)

oceanbaby

· #7 · Sep 30, 2003

I never thought that I would not vaccinate as well - the thought had never even occurred to me before ds was born.

I never thought that I would have such a hard time leaving ds even with people I can trust, like my parents. I mean, what if he misses me?

I never thought that I would fall into that typical trap of forgetting that I have to give attention to my marriage as well.

I didn't think I would cosleep, but that's just because I never thought about it, not because I was dead set against it.

I never knew how irritated I would get with ds over stupid little things.

sm3247

· #8 · Sep 30, 2003

A LOT of things. Parenting is so much more challenging than I ever believed.

Most recently though, I had to ask myself, "when did I stop caring that my child's hair has not been combed and he is covered in food?" sigh. I always thought babies should be neat and clean before I had one.

chellemarie

· #9 · Sep 30, 2003

I have a lot of these "I thought I'd never" but I'll stick to the less painful ones.

I remember riding home from school with my mother thinking I'd never look so tired and angry like all the other moms driving home after school. WRONG. All those tired and angry-looking moms are terrified of me. (They should be, too. They drive like idiots. Why is it so hard to negotiate the school parking lot?! WHY WHY WHY!)

I never thought I'd suck snot out of someone's nose, either. Or think it was fun to clean out ears. (I'm a sick person.)

I never thought I'd rather stay home and watch kiddie-tv than go out partying. And more interestingly, I never thought I'd turn the TV OFF to do other kiddie things.

I never thought I'd let my kids eat off the floor. ("It's like a picnic!")

I never thought I'd dunk a diaper. Ahahahahahahaa! (I don't dunk. I swear. Don't tell anyone I said that!)

Irishmommy

· #10 · Sep 30, 2003

I never thought I'd nurse a three year old and I swore I'd never use a soother.

CortLong

· #11 · Sep 30, 2003

*Never thought I would co-sleep!

*Never thought breastfeeding would mean sooo much to me.

*Def. never thought I'd CD.

Peppermint

· #12 · Sep 30, 2003

Lots of things

Never thought I'd co-sleep "that is so unsafe"

Never thought I'd nurse past a year. "If they can ask for it, they can use a cup"

Never thought I'd use a soothie. "Those are plugs."

Thought I'd cloth diaper succesfully with gerber prefolds and plastic pants, didn't happen, but I am back to cloth after finding this board.

Never thought I wouldn't vax. "Those people are just bad parents"

Never thought I'd consider homeschooling. "Kids need socialization, and girls need a mama who works to look up to"

That's all I can think of now, but I know there are more....

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Evergreen

· #13 · Sep 30, 2003

- plan a lotus birth

-go to LLL meetings (I always knew I would breastfeed, but didn't understand why people would have meetings about it!)

-clap and praise each poopy diaper

-allow my daughter to lick me and slobber all over me (how she kisses) in public (edited because that said 'pubic'!)

-skip vaxes

-talk to a baby (who can't understand English) like a human being

-give a pacifier

-say the words, "Dylan, please don't eat your poopies, they might make you sick." :LOL

uke

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Quirky

· #14 · Sep 30, 2003

Never thought I'd ......

....quit my job (which I loved) to become a SAHM (which I love!)

....nurse past a year

....skip vaxing

....co-sleep

....practice EC and cloth diaper

Island Mommy

· #15 · Sep 30, 2003

Well, before dd was born, I never thought I'd

- go without a crib - I made these beautiful bumper pads that have never been used.

- have dd pooping in a bucket consistently from the age of 2 months

- non Vax

- fully embrace all the AP stuff I could find out about

However, now that dd is 8 months, my enthusiasm for AP is waning somewhat. Earlier on in dd's life I never thought I'd:

- curse Dr Sears and Dr Gordon for painting this lovely picture of nursing and co-sleeping where mom and babe drift off to sleep in a state of pure bliss

- want to yell at dd to "please, just stop pinching and scratching and hurting mommy"

- just want to be alone

Sigh, well that's my honest post for the day.

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AmyB

· #16 · Sep 30, 2003

I never thought I would...

-Eat leftover food off my child's plate.

-Clean off my child's face with spit.

-Talk baby talk without shame in public places.

-Miss having an infant when she started to grow up.

--AmyB

rainsmom

· #17 · Sep 30, 2003

Never thought I would:

.......have another child. I had ds at 19 and thought I would NEVER have another child.

.......bf past a year

.......co sleep

.......not vax

.......cloth diaper

.........all things AP

Please pm me darshani, Id love some tips on how to get dd out of the family bed. ITs SOO time!

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LoveBugMama

· #18 · Sep 30, 2003

I love this thread!

I never thought I would:

*Bottlefeed... (I am not able to BF..)

:

*Be sooo angry at a 2 year old sometimes.

*Cosleep at all, and atleast not for 18-20 months!

*Be so desperately in love with my son.

*Prefer to be home with him instead of going out to dinner/parties.

*Choose to not let anyone babysit him.

*Choose to take him everywhere I go, and not be bothered by it at all.

*Use a sling/hip carrier. And I still use it!

*Follow his cues and my instinct all the way, instead of listening to books and family/friends.

*Be woken up by a 28 month old boy every night and NOT think that its a terrible thing that needs to be fixed.

*Be soooo against CIO.

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ebethmom

· #19 · Sep 30, 2003

I'm not sure that I ever thought about the DETAILS of life with a baby/toddler until we were in the midst of it. But here are the things that surprised me:

I never thought I'd cloth diaper and LIKE it!

I never expected to nurse a two year old.

I didn't know how much I would love conversing with my two year old. The things we talk about just crack me up.

I am surprised at the amount of TV we end up watching. I need a break, and his shows hold his interest. (I am not surprised by how guilty I feel over this!)

MamaBug

· #20 · Oct 1, 2003

3

This is a great thread. I thought I would never

Co-sleep......actually SWORE that I would not, now I cannot imagine how anyone doesn't

Have to pump for 9 months

: instead of nursing, but I know the most important aspect was the milk itself.

Not let anyone drive my child in their car

Not let anyone sit for my child until they were 3

Use Mommy spit to clean my childs face!

Man I thought THAT was disgusting but yet there I am!!!

:

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1 - 20 of 53 Posts

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