[TripMom]

Hi all -<br><br>
I have a friend who is a new triplet mom right now who also has an 18 month old as well. Her babies are a week old - she has help right now with inlaws - but is already starting to get nervous about "how" she will handle the triplets with the demands of her toddler too? She won't have much - if any help - so I know what she is thinking "what do I do with my toddler while feeding the babies all day????". I can't help with info here myself too much - as I took out a home equity line of credit to GET help as literally - I could NOT conceive of how I could be home with all 4 alone like that. But I know that lots of awesome mommas have done it!<br><br>
So please - I want to poll this group and accumulate a bunch of responses that I can forward on to her. Please let me know how you made the impossible possible -<br><br>
Specifically - How did you keep your toddler safe and entertained/occupied while trapped under nursing newborns all day??

 

[maxymum]

for us, nursing time equals reading time. i usually read to my 3 year old when nursing the twins. i read about a mom (here?) who did this with her dc and i decided when i was pregnant that nursing time would also mean something positive for my older ds and i believe this has helped a bunch with jealousy.<br><br>
paige

 

[Llyra]

I taught my 2 year old how to hold a book open, and i read to her. Or sometimes I give her something I know will be very engaging but need minimal supervision-- play doh is good, as is washable crayon if she's confined to the kitchen where I can wash everything if need be.<br><br>
This is really my biggest challenge with young twins-- what to do with DD. Fortunately mine is a bit older, 2 1/2, so it's not as bad as a younger toddler would be. It's rough. Really rough. I have no help either.<br><br>
Please, do whatever you can to help that mama out.<br><br>
Also, I've found that when I'm alone with the kids it actually makes more sense to nurse each twin one at a time when they'll let me, because then I still am somewhat mobile and I can get a hand free if I need to. Nursing simultaneously is asking for trouble, because DD1 KNOWS full well I can't get up and stop her from doing something she's not supposed to do.

 

[Ilovelife]

Oh, my. Encourage her to get some help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I, like the pp, read to dd while nursing. Also I'd set her up with a snack or an activity that she could do solo. I've heard here the suggestion of making a bin of activities that the older sib ONLY does when mom is nursing (which in your friend's case may well be much of the day). And I made use of other people....visitors, playdates, babysitters as much as possible. Nothing can substitute for mama's undivided attention, but someone else's undivided attention is the next best thing. Activities, quiet reading, etc is good but if the 18-month old is active I bet she will have pent-up energy if she's expected to do these things for much of the day. I hope your friend makes out okay. I'll send some good energy her way!

 

[Kathryn]

I would gate off whatever room we were in first off. Then it was either singing, reading, TV, me playing with my feet, etc.. a lot of different things to keep her entertained. Mostly tv for a while though.

 

[1Plus2]

My dd was 27-months-old when my twins were born. We too made nursing time reading time. TV was helpful during those early days. Thank God for Sesame Street and Dora! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My LLL co-Leaders put together a goody basket for her full of puzzles, crayons, coloring books, small toys, activities, etc. If she or I were having a tough moment we would head for the goody basket and pull out a new treat. It made her feel special to have so many new gifts just for her and kept her entertained. The stuff doesn't have to be expensive either. Things from the Dollar Store make kids just as happy as things from Toys R Us. I had family close by but they did not come over to help at all. They're very loving and supportive but unless I asked for help, it wasn't volunteered.<br><br>
My BIGGEST piece of advice for your friend is to keep a positive "can-do" attitude about it. Laugh a lot of things off and DO NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!! She can't do it all and right now she needs to focus all of her energy on her oldest child and three new bambinos. Please tell your friend congratulations on her wonderful blessings!

 

[earthhugmama]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kathryn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7965292"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Then it was either singing, reading, TV, me playing with my feet, etc.. a lot of different things to keep her entertained. Mostly tv for a while though.</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:

 

[cdahlgrd]

She really needs to find some help. There are people who would help for free, she is going to need to fnd them.<br><br>
Churches, even if she doesn't belong, will help<br>
Colleges have early childhood ed with students who need to learn and would like to help too.<br>
Neighbors<br>
Family<br>
LLL groups<br>
Doulas - Post partum doulas need experience working with multiples and would help for the experience (and they would often do it just to help).<br>
Moms groups<br>
Multiples groups!!!!!<br><br>
Ask here. There are people from all over that would love to help.

 

[earthhugmama]

i forgot to mention, that we had a volunteer come in to play with my son 1-2x/wk (though we have no extended family here). we live in a city where there is a wonderful city program that screens the volunteers and sets them up with families with newborns.

 

[Bonny]

I couldn't tandem nurse those first months, especially either. I had a very active 2.5yo, and I had to be able to move around after her, if need be (manageable with one babe latched on, but not two LOL).<br><br>
Now when *she* was a baby, I read to her older siblings, but they were older than 2.5. Reading didn't keep this one in place, initially. I tried to just have the house safe/doors shut that needed to be, so she wouldn't have access to places really easily.<br><br>
I would recommend getting as much help as she can from her circle of family and friends.