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Discussion Starter #1
I just found graphic photos of dh and women on a cd he has been trying to hide from me. I don't know a person around to go to. I haven't worked since before my dd was born in Jan 02. He is at the laundromat right now and acted like it was no big deal when I called him. I am beyond devastated and he doesn't seem to care. I'm trying to find a cd to copy this on so it can't disappear on me if I need it later for evidence. I don't know what I'm going to do aside from sitting here and sobbing.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Do you know that the pictures were taken while you were a couple? Is he cheating on you in the pics? (I know you can't go into detail on here but feel free to pm me if you want to talk freely).<br><br>
Perhaps he doesn't seem to care because they were taken before you two were together.
 

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no advice, but I couldn't read and not reply.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> what did he say?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Is there any family or friend you could go stay with until you get things figured out?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>OdeToJoy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984097"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Do you know that the pictures were taken while you were a couple? Is he cheating on you in the pics? (I know you can't go into detail on here but feel free to pm me if you want to talk freely).<br><br>
Perhaps he doesn't seem to care because they were taken before you two were together.</div>
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I never even thought about that. Could this be a possibility OP?
 

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Do you know if they were recent, or if they were possibly from before you were a couple? Good job backing it up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Maybe the best thing to do is bide your time... get a job, and save your money. Get your own bank account. Prepare to leave if it comes down to it. Just cover your butt so you'll be able to financially take care of your daughter if you and your hubby break up.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
At the moment I'm not sure what to think. I'm being told the pics are old from before we were together. Before he came back I gave the cd to our next door neighbor to hold on to for me. There is some stuff on there that could get him in trouble some places. This brought a ton of other stuff to a head and at the moment he has agreed to go to counselling so we will see what happens. He is also supposed to be getting his stuff together so I can get back to school. I dropped out in August 2000 after a bad car accident. I had just finished my sophmore year then. I might have had a few credits in to my junior year. I don't know how that is going to transfer at this point as we are in a different state and it has been so long. I will be on the phone tomorrow attempting to find out about what I can do at the local community college which also does some classes for a university. I don't ever want to feel stuck like this again. If it were just our 5 year old it wouldn't be as big a problem either as she starts kindergarten in August. We have a 17 month old that would need to go to daycare if I got a job. With what jobs pay around here for what I could do I would pretty much be working to pay for daycare right now. That is not something I want to do.
 

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Any changes?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Personally, I'd be gone. I can put up with ALL KINDS of crap...but I can never EVER forgive adultery, ever.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> No advice, I just wanted to give some support.
 

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I just wanted to say Im so sorry. I hope you can work something out and you can get back to school too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Thanks ladies for the support. He is claiming there are old pics and won't talk about it which is about how things go with him. I'm looking for free counselling that isn't from a church, but really doubting it's worth it. I'm starting to think we just have vastly different ideas of what makes a marriage work. I'm trying to get stuff together so we could leave, but I have no where to go and no way to support 2 kids on my own. We have just in the past few months gotten out of a horrible hotel we were living in for over a year and are no longer homeless. It looks like I might end up taking the kids to a shelter if we do go somewhere and right back in to homelessness. The worst part of it all is not just the pain he is causing, but he has broken my trust in men and doesn't really seem to care <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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You should be able to tell from the files on the CD when they were burned to the dicc. That could help you gauge how old the pics are, if they were recent or from long ago.<br><br>
(((HUGS)))
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>s_kristina</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984655"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't ever want to feel stuck like this again. If it were just our 5 year old it wouldn't be as big a problem either as she starts kindergarten in August. We have a 17 month old that would need to go to daycare if I got a job. With what jobs pay around here for what I could do I would pretty much be working to pay for daycare right now. That is not something I want to do.</div>
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Perhaps you could get a degree in early childhood ed; some community dolleges also offer certificates in that area. Then you could look for a job that you could have you dc with you. Maybe your college offers online courses? Most colleges seem to consider courses from incomplete degrees expired after 10 years; I doubt its been that long for you. Chances are most of your general ed classes will transfer.<br><br>
You should consult a legal aid attorney, open a bank account and credit card in your name only (JIC).
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>s_kristina</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984655"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We have a 17 month old that would need to go to daycare if I got a job. With what jobs pay around here for what I could do I would pretty much be working to pay for daycare right now. That is not something I want to do.</div>
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You will get child support. You can work places with your dc. Fitness centers and churches (doing nursery for both) will allow you to bring your children to work with you. I had my ds ride the bus with the after school kids to the YMCA to come straight to me when school got out. Churches pay the most. Also you can clean offices/houses and bring your children with you. At one time, I was doing nothing but childcare and cleaning 2 offices and was netting over $2000 a month, never leaving my children in childcare without me. It was hectic but doable. Do NOT stay with him because you don't have other options. If you want to leave, we can help you find a way.
 
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