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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
There's several issues here so I'll start on this board. I desperately need answers! My son Aidan is 8 months old and I just found out I'm pregnant. Of course it's a surprise and I'm really freaking out. I have held on so strongly to my AP principals - breastfeeding exclusively (not 1 single bottle), co-sleeping (100% in our bed - now our mattress is on the floor for safety), and baby wearing (the way he falls asleep for naps and at night if he doesn't nurse). This new baby has thrown EVERYTHING off for us. There are 5 of us in a 2 bedroom house so we're going to have to buy one with more bedrooms before April when the baby is here. I'm going to have to wean Aidan by 12 months just so he can adjust. I can't nurse him for the 3-4 days I'm in the hospital! (They won't let me do a VBAC after 3 scars so it's the recuperation time.) And it's not safe to have a toddler and an infant in the same bed!<br><br>
So Aidan is going to have to adjust to sleeping in a separate bed, no more breastfeeding, no more sling wearing (how can I being pregnant?), and a totally different house - not to mention sharing me with a new baby. I'm just in tears right now because everything I held onto so dearly is just blowing up in my face. This is going to be soooo hard on him. He wakes up every 2-3 hours and has ever since birth! How in the world is that going to change? And if it doesn't, how am I going to handle that and breastfeeding 2 babies that are up all night?<br><br>
Sorry, I'm being so dramatic. I just feel like there are no answers... at least none that I want to hear. I just wish there was a way to AP two little ones at the same time. My kids have always been so far apart so there's never been an issue until now.<br><br>
Ugh.... HELP!<br><br>
Erin<br>
Trevor, 9<br>
Hunter, 5<br>
Aidan, 8 mos.<br>
EDD April, 2004
 

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First off - welcome to MDC! I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed out right now, but you have come to the right place, mama!<br><br>
Now, I only have one myself so far but from hanging out here I can assure you that there are a lot of moms here with two close together who have managed to AP both kids. I can hear that you're in a panic right now, but it will all work out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Specifically: there is no reason you need to wean Aidan at 12 months. He will be 17-18 months by the time the baby comes, right? So he'll be eating solids, drinking from a cup...it will be hard on him to have you in the hospital, sure, but that doesn't mean you need to wean him early just to get him used to it. Plenty of mamas here have nursed through a pregnancy, and even tandem nursed their toddler and their newborn. In fact, many of them have found that nursing their toddler helped the toddler adjust better to the new baby. Check out the breastfeeding forums, particularly extended nursing, for lots of great stories, and advice on how to persevere if your milk supply drops because you're pregnant.<br><br>
As far as wearing him, there's no need to stop that either, at least not until you just aren't comfortable doing it any more. What kind of sling do you use? Plenty of mamas sling their older babies while pregnant; maybe post in Life With a Babe or Toddlers for some advice on that front, such as the best kind of sling to use.<br><br>
With respect to the nightwaking, you've got 9 months before you have to share the bed with a newborn...and there are mamas here who cosleep with a toddler and newborn, for example by having the toddler sleep on the other side of dh, or by using an Arm's Reach cosleeper or a sidecarred crib and putting baby in there, with toddler in between you and dh. Your son will be older when the baby is born, remember, and even though he's waking a lot now a lot can change between now and then! Have you read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution? or Dr. Jay Gordon's Good Nights? Both books have some great suggestions on how to encourage more sleeping with gentleness.<br><br>
You can do this, without throwing your AP principles out the window! It sounds like this has been a big shock to your system, and the hormones of early pregnancy probably aren't helping your mood much. Once the dust settles a little and you've had a chance to talk to some other mamas here who have been in your shoes, I think you will find that you can nurture both your babies in ways that feel right to you.<br><br>
Hang in there! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I just want to agree with Jane.<br><br>
I got pregnant when my oldest was 10 months. He has never had a bottle, still nurses at almost 4 years along with his 2 1/2 year old brother. We all sleep together and always have (although it helps to have a big bed, we have two full sized together- I imagine that before too long the boys will move out together.) We have a two bedroom now but we lived in a one bedroom with all four of us for quite a while. I wore my toddler all through out my pregnancy.<br><br>
Do you not want him to come to the hospital at all, because if he is there visiting I don't see why he can't nurse. Wheather he is nursing or not those 4 days are going to be rough, and if start weaning him before then you could have months of stress about it instead of the 4 days that are going to be stressful anyway.<br><br>
My boys still wake up quite frequently to nurse at night, so I have gotten up 6 or 8 times a night for the past 2 1/2, but I don't think you should worry about that for nine months, lots could change before that baby gets here.<br><br>
Good Luck,<br>
I think you'll find very little has to change, and you can make only the changes you want to (like maybe that new house would be nice <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">)
 

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Are you feeling any better?<br><br>
I think you'll be okay<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> and so will those sweet babies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This isn't an issue any longer... I miscarried last weekend.<br><br>
Thanks for all the advice though! I will surely stick around. What a great community! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Erin
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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well, you don't have to wean your child from breastfeeding, i nursed my son all the way thru my pregnancy, and now i'm tandem nursing my toddler and newborn!
 

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So sorry about your miscarriage. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm really sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 
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