[jackson'smama]

OK, maybe hate is too strong a word. severely dislike?...
anyways, with my first in 2004, a new doc came into the ob practice i was using. i didn't meet him until 3_? weeks - he did an ultrasound because one doc thought i might be measuring small for dates. He started in on this big production of how we'd have to diligently monitor our son for a hernia as he appeared to have hydrocele and would likely need surgery within the first year of life. scared the pants off me for really, no reason. the US tech stood behind him, looking a little shocked at the way he was talking to me and dh about this. then, the subject of birth came up and i said we were doing bradley. he laughed and said, "are they still teaching that doctors are evil? i swear - you just have to realize that before we started intervening in births, alot of women died. this is a serious thing." i think my jaw fell to the floor and i don't recall responding to that. then, i went into labor. called in to say my water had broken and that i felt fine. he was the doc that answered the call (for another doc who was sleeping). he said, "you must get in here immediately because your risk for infection is much greater in your home than in the hospital." i ended up hanging up on him and went on to have a totally intervention free delivery in the hospital with another doc in the group.
fast-forward to this pregnancy. he's still there, but oddly, only in the office a couple fridays a month and only doing deliveries 4 days a month. he's mostly doing ultrasounds (he's high-risk). so, i had an appointment last week with another doc and this jerk ends up being the one walking thru the door. but he was super nice and i'm thinking, "maybe i was all wrong". he did the usual stuff and then the nurse came in so he could do a cervical check. i proceeded to scoot to the foot of the table and put my feet in the stirrups as usual. he said, "whoa whoa whoa! back up there. you need to learn how we do this in labor. you don't put your feet in the stirrups, you put them together on the bed and let your knees fall apart. i do things a little differently." I proceeded to endure the most PAINFUL cervical check of my life and subsequently bled like a period using 3 pads in under 3 hours. that evening, i ended up in the hospital with contractions about 5-10 min apart, thinking "this is it!" the nurse asked who stripped my membranes?!?!?!?!
OK, am i overreacting in my dislike for this guy? i am at a point of saying if he's on call when i go into labor, i'd rather have a stranger OB or MW from another group do my delivery. anybody but him.
what would you do? i am due this saturday, so it's truly any day now. i have an appointment tomorrow with the female NP in the group, and i'm definitely going to bring up my concerns...i just don't know what that'll get me if he's on call, ykwim?
oh, btw, the nurse in the hospital said, "yeah, we've gotten a few complaints about him."

:

 

[Therese's Mommy]

I don't know how comfortable you are with the other drs in the practice, but perhaps you could schedule a meeting with one of them and go over your concerns. I have a friend who had a major problem with one of the drs in the practice she was seeing and upon bringing those concerns to another dr in the practice she was assured that the offending dr would not be attending her delivery. You might want to give it a try.

Beth

 

[jackson'smama]

thank you...that's my plan for tomorrow - even though it's with the NP. i can easily talk to her. i'm just not sure how they could guarantee he wouldn't attend delivery if he's on call, but it's definitely worth a shot. i just didn't know if i was overreacting, but he just creeps me out now and i don't want him anywhere near me.

 

[blueridgewoman]

jackson's-- I know where you live (sorry, that sounds a little creepy

) so I think I know what practice you're talking about (it's my practice as well). Is this Dr. H, by any chance?

 

[jackson'smama]

um yeah, with drs t and w? oh yikes. what do you know?

 

[_betsy_]

I hated one doc out of 5 in my OB practice, and didn't like 3 of them! But I was assured as soon as I was PG that my usually Gyn would attend my birth "come hell or high water" she said. And she did.

I won't be back to that practice for #2 for a variety of reasons, one of them being my chances of getting stuck with one of the docs I don't like or the one I hate.

And really, the one I hated wasn't NEARLY as bad as that guy you're describing. I'd let someone in the practice know of your concerns right away.

 

[turtlewomyn]

Uh, I don't think you are over reacting. It sounds like he stripped your membranes without your consent or knowledge. I would get a copy of your medical files to see if this is the case and consider reporting this guy.

Since he is only in the hospital four days a month, it is unlikely that he would be on call the day you go into labor, but what if he is????

 

[blueridgewoman]

Yes, jackson- I was searching on old posts for OBs in the area the other day and ran across yours talking about him telling you to get to the hospital immediately or whatever.

I actually don't know anything- sorry to disappoint!

I just met him on Monday because I had my 22wk scan. We didn't get into childbirth or ideas about things at all, but he did look at me funny when I asked about fetal position and then offhandedly said something about wanting full breech or vertex because I could have a vaginal birth. He didn't say anything and I didn't think anything of it. Truth be told, I didn't mind him at all and he seemed gentle to me.

However, it's REALLY good to know that he's been routinely saying absurd things to you and stripped your membranes without your consent. Frankly, I would let Dr T, Dr W, or P know immediately because all of them seem really laid back and just the opposite of this guy. I'll also keep it in mind and try to avoid him in the future.

I'm so sorry this happened. When I called the office to make an appointment the other day, they said he was only on call 2 days a month with them so there was only a very small chance of him being there for the delivery. Knowing what I do now, that makes me really happy.

Dr T, particuarly, is wonderful and I would LOVE for him to catch.

I hope that you are able to work it out. But yeah, I would definitely let someone at that practice know.

 

[jackson'smama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtlewomyn Uh, I don't think you are over reacting. It sounds like he stripped your membranes without your consent or knowledge. I would get a copy of your medical files to see if this is the case and consider reporting this guy. Since he is only in the hospital four days a month, it is unlikely that he would be on call the day you go into labor, but what if he is????

re: the membranes, i figured if he had done it, he didn't write it down anyway...that would be my guess. i'm definitely bringing it up at tomorrow's appointment and will likely consider writing a letter to the head doc of the group. is that what you mean by reporting him?

unfortunately, i think he only pulls call on weekends so unless i can get my rear (um, uterus and baby) in gear to get a move on before then, i'm worried about a doomed weekend ahead. i'm asking about calltime tomorrow - surely she'll tell me the call rotation so i'll at least have a heads up and can relax if it's not him.

THIS SUCKS! and the kicker is that i drive #$(*&@#($*& hour and a half to get to the doctor's office and hospital b/c they were so wonderful with our first that i went back even after moving out of town.

 

[blueridgewoman]

I would have a discussion with Dr T about it. My sister used to work with him quite a bit (she's a nurse) and said that he has always been concerned, sweet, and very aware of patients' comfort, etc, and I have had the same experience. He's definitely one of the more thoughtful, approachable, and generally great doctors I've had and I trust him completely, as I do P. I still need to get to know Dr. W a bit, but he seems great too.

But my point is, tell Dr. T. He'll want to hear about it and I'm sure they will work something out for you. You shouldn't have to leave a good practice because of a loser doctor.

 

[jackson'smama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueridgewoman Yes, jackson- I was searching on old posts for OBs in the area the other day and ran across yours talking about him telling you to get to the hospital immediately or whatever. I actually don't know anything- sorry to disappoint! I just met him on Monday because I had my 22wk scan. We didn't get into childbirth or ideas about things at all, but he did look at me funny when I asked about fetal position and then offhandedly said something about wanting full breech or vertex because I could have a vaginal birth. He didn't say anything and I didn't think anything of it. Truth be told, I didn't mind him at all and he seemed gentle to me. However, it's REALLY good to know that he's been routinely saying absurd things to you and stripped your membranes without your consent. Frankly, I would let Dr T, Dr W, or P know immediately because all of them seem really laid back and just the opposite of this guy. I'll also keep it in mind and try to avoid him in the future. I'm so sorry this happened. When I called the office to make an appointment the other day, they said he was only on call 2 days a month with them so there was only a very small chance of him being there for the delivery. Knowing what I do now, that makes me really happy. Dr T, particuarly, is wonderful and I would LOVE for him to catch. I hope that you are able to work it out. But yeah, I would definitely let someone at that practice know.

OK, at least you don't have bad news! but i'm glad i could enlighten you to my experience and the fact that at least a few other people have complained to the hospital nurses. i think it's suspicious that he's been there 3 years and hasn't moved up in rank (his name's not on the door, no business cards around the waiting room, only there a few days a month...). anyways, i'm definitely talking to P tomorrow and maybe calling today to find out his call schedule so i can actually SLEEP tonight - unlike last night.
glad your experience with him was better than mine. and you're right about dr t - he was there for my first and he's so amazingly laid back for a high risk ob. he waltzed in fairly late in the game (yay!) and just let me be. once the shoulders were delivered, i pulled my son out and onto my chest at his suggestion. i was impressed and i feel just as confident in dr w. i worry that i'd have to lie on my back with legs in the air with dr h and i'd personally be forced to kick him in the face.

 

[blueridgewoman]

Yeah, he's like the phantom doc. I called to make my 21wk appt the other day and the receptionist was like "have you seen Dr H yet?" and I said, "Uhhhh I didn't know there WAS a Dr H in this practice."

Well, if for some reason I have to see him for my 28wk cervical check, I'll deliver him a swift kick just for you.

But I'm thinking we'll be requesting Dr T for our prenatal center appts from here on out. I might have them note on my file that I don't want to see Dr H either. I don't need to put up with that crap, nor do you.

I hope you have a great birth experience.

 

[Breathless Wonder]

Not pregnant, but had a similar experience with a group of midwives (in a different state from you). I LOATHED the one midwife, and ended up getting her for my birth. It was REALLY bad, and to make matters worse, she ended up doing all of my after care as well, since she was the atending at the delivery. If I had it to do again, I would have made a bigger fuss about not having her at my birth.

 

[myjulybabes]

We haven't had this happen with an OB, so thankfully the "who's on call when I go into labor?" thing hasn't happened, but we've had issues with a certain member of both our ped and our vet practices. We just have them mark it in our chart that we don't see Dr. X. I act all diplomatic about it "Oh, Dr X is a fine doctor, but we just have a bit of a personality clash, so we'd really prefer to see the other doctors instead, thank you!"

In theory, I imagine you could refuse to have him attend you even if he's on call. If they can't get another OB from your practice, surely the hospital has at least one OB on staff? Of course who knows what you'll get with the on-staff OB, but this guy sounds like a real UA-violation. I'd seriously consider taking my chances on someone I'd never met.

 

[SheBear]

You know, I have to say that if it were me and I were in labor and he walked in the room, I'd order him to walk right back out. You can do that--you don't have to endure a repulsive presence there! The hospital can either find someone else to come in and "catch", or just leave it up to the nurses. What could be so bad about that? The nurses IME (my first was born in hosp, and my SIL is a L&D nurse) are generally quite capable in terms of hospital birth. They do most of the work (well, that is to say, YOU do the REAL work, but YKWIM....) anyway, so what difference does it make if their hands are the ones that catch the baby in the end?

I'm quite sure that if you chose to assert yourself that way and say "I will NOT allow that man to touch me, or to be in this room!" you would face a lot of flack from him and prolly the nurses (though it sounds like they'd completely understand), but in the end, what could they do? Patient's have rights. Every hospital has a Patient's Bill of Rights, and I can't imagine there being one out there that doesn't give you the right to choose who does (or rather, doesn't) attend you.

Maybe you could get ahold of the Patient's BOR before hand and shove it in his face if need be....definitely try to find out as soon as you get to the hosp. who is on call, so that you'll know what your course of action will be. Although I could see that going 2 ways...if you let them know right at first that you don't want Dr H catching, that gives them more time to pressure and berate you. OTOH, if they are feeling reasonable, it also gives them more time to find someone better to come attend.

Good luck with it, and sorry you had such a rotten experience already! Praying that the rest of it will be great!

 

[jackson'smama]

update: just called the practice and spoke to the receptionist. i didn't give my name since i'll be talking to the NP tomorrow, but i did ask about his call time. next time is June 18, then 22-26. WTH? i thought it was 4 days a month. This ain't right! Then, I said, "I'm not happy about the possibility of him attending the birth because I've had some bad experiences with him in the office. If he's on call, are the other docs completely unavailable?" And she said, yes, unless there are so many things going on at one time that one doc can't handle it which really NEVER happens. ugh.
so, i called dh at work and said, "get ready, we're doing it tonight". i'm on a mission to deliver before the 18th, so please send good vibes my way.

 

[Breathless Wonder]

You really need to speak to one of the doctors. Don't take "no" from he receptionist. It is NOT her decision.

 

[blueridgewoman]

The receptionists at that practice are not so great anyway.

But yeah, even if it ends up that he's the one, just refuse to be seen by him. I actually refused to be seen by a doc in the ER at MJ when I was having a tubal pregnancy issue and they were very professional about it and just got me a new doctor. They didn't give me any grief at all.

 

[Therese's Mommy]

I agree with pp. The receptionist has no idea what the drs can and can't do. Basically she was saying that as a rule, no, but she doesn't know what really goes on. Talk to the NP tomorrow. I would write a list of your concerns so you are sure not to forget any of them.

Beth

 

[ladyleigh]

Wow- I can't believe he stripped your membranes without consent!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this right now. I would definitly have a letter written up to bring to the appt with you.

Keep us posted and good luck!