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<p>I feel like breaking down and crying right now.  It's 3:30 in the morning, my 17 mo son has been up since midnight, and I have my biggest scariest final tomorrow.  I was really needing a good sleep tonight.  This has been happening almost every night this entire semester.  I have been behind and just barely scraping by because of it.  I know he needs more sleep, I do everything I can to facilitate it, but he just gets up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep for hours no matter what I do.  He spends his days cranky and frustrated, and I feel overwhelmed and angry.  Has this happened to anyone?  How did you deal?  I have to stay in school for at least next semester.  I was so excited about going back for the first time since ds came this semester and because of this awful sleep thing I've pretty much hated it!</p>
 

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<p>I hope your final went okay.  I've been there, trying to get school work done on very little sleep because of dd's sleep habits.  My mantra, at the time, was "this too shall pass."  And it took my daughter until almost two to sleep through the night, but eventually I got more sleep.  I guess the only suggestion I have is to work on his sleep and have someone else help out with nighttime parenting or sleep during the day if you can to catch up.  Check out the no cry sleep solution book or something like it.  Good luck.</p>
 

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<p>That stinks. DD had issues with teething and ear infections, and that led to most of our sleepless nights.  I did give her baby tylenol those nights and that was how I dealt.  It really does wipe you out.  Do you have a partner who can pitch in and help you or that you can let know that you are really desperate for some sleep?  Make it a priority and don't feel guilty--get partner to watch baby for 4 hours and go to a friends house and sleep if you have to!  Then return the favor for your partner. Hope your final went ok.</p>
 

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<p>I hope your final went okay today! I have so been there! My first semester back to school last year was awful in terms of DS's sleep... Looking back I really don't know how I made it through. I totally blew my chances at doing well in an important class & getting on the good side of a respected professor because I was just too exhausted to care more. But hey, school with a kid requires a bit of reorganizing priorities to say the least...</p>
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<p>I don't have good advice (except to echo madskye ^^ about getting someone to help), but just hang in there! <span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>Oh, maybe one piece of advice would be to discuss with your school's dean's office or student affairs office or the equivalent about accommodations that can be made last minute. The school should want you to succeed so there should be someone that deals with problems & emergencies that arise</span> around finals time. Get that person's phone number & don't be afraid to ask to take the exam on a different day or to come up with some different solution if you have gotten no sleep the night before an exam.</p>
 

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<p>I'm right there with you!  Sometimes, when my son is waking up for like the third time in a row at night the night before I have a big test or presentation (and when I say waking up, I don't mean just normal waking up to eat and going back to sleep...I mean he wakes up to nurse and then cries and refuses to go back to sleep for sometimes several hours), I also want to cry!  I don't really have advice.  I have a three and a half year old dd so I have lived through this already and I know it will pass; that is my biggest consolation.  Someone recently suggested to me a book that really helped--but I'm so tired I don't remember now what it was, lol!  Maybe you will get some specifically sleep advice in the Family bed and Nighttime Parenting forum.  As it relates to being a student, though, I just echo other posters and will add that you should try to keep focused on the big picture--that it's tough but you can do, it will be better, and it will be worth it!</p>
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<p>Hope you did okay on your final and that your little guy starts getting some good sleep!</p>
 

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<p>I so understand. My 19 month old has been up for hours in the night for months now, I am a zombie. And it isn't like I was well rested before, I have had one night waking child, or three, for 8 years now, I am used to very little sleep! I only get a chance to work to documentation and budgets at night when children are in bed, and yet, not all of them are, or if it is the one night a week he actually will go to bed at a decent time, I can't stay up and I ended up falling asleep with him. I have one more week before a large project is due (I work part time, no schooling right now) and I think next week I am going to have to break down and hire a sitter so i can sneak off and work on it, I haven't been able to do anything yet. I usually only hire a sitter when I am in the office, I am able to do most of this stuff, normally from home without paying most of my salary for childcare but not apparently right now. <img alt="eyesroll.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/eyesroll.gif"></p>
 

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<p>just sympathy here. DH and I take turns. We also invited grandma to stay the night once after a week of ds being up for hours in teh middle of the night. Just one night doesnt kill us, but ongoing... phew. it's impossible. sometimes I'm a fraid I'll fall asleep driving.</p>
 

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<p>Dh and I also take turns like PP. Do you have a DP who can help out? We alternate every other night sleeping with DS but if one of us has a big day the next day, we'll do double shifts. It was the only way I could even think about going back to work.</p>
 

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<p>Unless a child is sick, after infancy, it is reasonable and appropriate to have the expectation that the child sleep through the night. I notice that the children mentioned here are well to the age where they should be in bed all night and sleeping. A few things spring to mind. What do these children do when they are awake for hours in the middle of the night? Are they taken out of their beds? Are the parents spending this time with them? </p>
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<p>This is a situation I have encountered and it may help some of you. A child, around the age mentioned here, wakes up in the middle of the night and cries out. The parent enters the room. The parent might be rattled or panicked about the child being up, worrying that now the child is up and so too must the parent be, or the parent is fretting about the child's crying, using a lot of talking, maybe even turning on a light. Energetically and physically, this is going to effect the child. Talking, and changing the environment is stimulating. If there is too much stimulation the child really is going to find it hard to fall back asleep. So the key is to keep the environment quiet  and unchanged.  Now, if the parent takes the child out of his/her bed and/or stays with the child this is creating a precedent. If the parent stays up with the child, the child learns that it can get one-on-one time with mom or dad in the middle of the night. This is rewarding and the child will repeat the behavior, night after night. Set and state aloud the expectation that it's nighttime and it's time to sleep. Enter the room quietly and confidently. Check on the child, and offer some comforting touch, but do not linger. Tuck the child in if you can and keep talking to a minimum. Say, "It's nighttime, it's time to sleep. It's not time to play" and then leave the room. I've had the child leap to his/her feet and wail. That's usually what happens, but you know the child is fine and you know it's not appropriate to be up. Feel confident with that. You may have some rough nights as the child comes to accept this or relearns that nighttime is not play time and not one-on-one time with mom or dad but essentially you are teaching the child that nighttime means it's time to sleep, not time to play or be awake. </p>
 

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I let DH respond <img alt="ROTFLMAO.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif"> Really, that's what I do. He deals better without sleep and I turn into a monster. We've had problems with our two youngest sleeping. Carter had ear infections and major attachment; Rayne had heart surgery and still gets up every night around midnight. It's gotten easier to deal with them quickly though. And I know where you're coming from. Can you study while you comfort your LO? I find sometimes being productive and doing something for myself during that time of restlessness eases the tension a bit.
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>RachelHart</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285409/what-do-you-do-when-you-have-big-sleep-problems#post_16139654"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p><br>
Unless a child is sick, after infancy, it is reasonable and appropriate to have the expectation that the child sleep through the night. I notice that the children mentioned here are well to the age where they should be in bed all night and sleeping. A few things spring to mind. What do these children do when they are awake for hours in the middle of the night? Are they taken out of their beds? Are the parents spending this time with them? </p>
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This is a situation I have encountered and it may help some of you. A child, around the age mentioned here, wakes up in the middle of the night and cries out. The parent enters the room. The parent might be rattled or panicked about the child being up, worrying that now the child is up and so too must the parent be, or the parent is fretting about the child's crying, using a lot of talking, maybe even turning on a light. Energetically and physically, this is going to effect the child. Talking, and changing the environment is stimulating. If there is too much stimulation the child really is going to find it hard to fall back asleep. So the key is to keep the environment quiet  and unchanged.  Now, if the parent takes the child out of his/her bed and/or stays with the child this is creating a precedent. If the parent stays up with the child, the child learns that it can get one-on-one time with mom or dad in the middle of the night. This is rewarding and the child will repeat the behavior, night after night. Set and state aloud the expectation that it's nighttime and it's time to sleep. Enter the room quietly and confidently. Check on the child, and offer some comforting touch, but do not linger. Tuck the child in if you can and keep talking to a minimum. Say, "It's nighttime, it's time to sleep. It's not time to play" and then leave the room. I've had the child leap to his/her feet and wail. That's usually what happens, but you know the child is fine and you know it's not appropriate to be up. Feel confident with that. You may have some rough nights as the child comes to accept this or relearns that nighttime is not play time and not one-on-one time with mom or dad but essentially you are teaching the child that nighttime means it's time to sleep, not time to play or be awake. </p>
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There was such a lovely response to this post and now it's disappeared....<br><br>
This is the family bed forum so yes parents are with the child, responding, that's what we believe is appropriate as nurturing parents to do.<br><br>
I have to laugh that you think kids this age should sttn. I'm 34 and don't sttn. Why should I expect my ds to? My ds was high needs and woke every 1-2 hours until 14 months old when his last teeth came through. Then he started sleeping. I'm so glad I responded every. Single. Time to my hurting son. No precedent was set, well actually it was - a precedent I'll always be there for my ds.<br><br>
Also, I doubt any mama here thinks it's wise to have a middle of the night party when their babe wakes. We all keep it dark, quiet, reinforce that it's sleep time.<br><br>
I mean no offense but I wanted to write this post so mamas struggling with sleep issues don't get discouraged and choose to leave the family bed and eschew responsive nighttime parenting. It will get better, you're doing awesome jobs.<br>
 
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