I dunno -- I broke it off with a friend of over twenty years because I got sick of his irresponsible and selfish behavior toward his daughter.
His wife left him with their dd when their dd was three -- she did a Demi Moore thing and immediately hooked up with a young boy toy, and he really rose to the challenge of being a suddenly single dad: took a pay cut to take more time with his kid, gave up his life for two years, and so on.
Flash forward to now. He meets a woman whom I found to be enormously pretentious, insulting (she said, "At least I
don't have a fat ass," in a context implying that my husband did
-- this was the first time we met her) and she literally got pregnant the first or second week my friend and she had known each other. Before they found that
out, he was crawling over her like her ya-ya was made of solid gold and completely ignoring his child. The girlfriend ignored her too, BTW: that kid must've watched more videos in the nine months of their relationship than she ever had in her whole life, all so that Dada and Girlfriend could canoodle on the couch (or, on one occasion, do some tonsil pool with the flesh stick DURING a party he was hosting at his house with his kid in the next room).
During their wedding -- and I'm sorry, but when you marry someone with a kid, you marry the kid too
-- the daughter was entirely ignored by both of them.
I could not -- and cannot -- believe his supreme irresponsibility. He's now married this woman he's known nine months and they now have a new baby they obviously didn't expect and probably didn't want...and meanwhile, his dd, who is now five and terribly needy of her dad, has even less time with him than she did before, because now he's occupied with New Wife and newborn.
I could not believe his enormous selfishness and irresponsibility when his daughter had been so damaged by her mother's abrupt departure with another man. I think New Wife got preggo on purpose (she is the type, I think, who spells "I love you" B-M-W
, and my friend is well-off...she had nothing and was working a temp job with no prospects), but it takes two to get pregnant, last I heard.
That pretty much ended the friendship. It took down another one with it -- a friend of mine who was friends with New Wife and introduced him, but that's another story altogether.
In short, my level of disgust just got too high. I'm not sitting here claiming to be a perfect mom, but man...I honestly think it's a case of very, very different values. I value my kid more than anything. More than me, more than my happiness. If it were a choice between her happiness and mine, I would choose hers every time unless my unhappiness were so vast and damaging that it would hurt her. Obviously, he didn't feel the same. I feel so sorry for this little girl who has now found herself to be an irrelevant relic of a dead marriage -- none of which is her fault.