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what do you do with your frustration?

597 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  emmalala
I try very hard to give my daughter every opportunity to succeed at being a happy and easygoing person. I try to say "yes" whenever possible, to give my reasons for a "no" , try to give appropriate developmental leeway, adn try to always see things from her perspective.

But I have a tendancy to bottle up my frustrations, stew about things, and then pop off at unaware and undeserving people. I *hate* when this underserving person is my daughter. Of course I always apologize (which has been another hurdle for me -- I grew up to equate apologies with weakness and admitting defeat
: ) but what I'd really love is to just stop doing it alltogether

What do you all do to release your anger, frustration, etc. in a healthy way? I so need to learn this for myself, and I want to be able to model it for mt children...
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Maybe a workout would help. Or anything physical that gets your blood pumping--your daughter may even be able to join you.

You could try working on not bottling it up in the first place. It may seem like the options are either grin and bear it or use hurtful words, but I think you could find a happy medium. And speaking of happy, no one is happy ALL the time. It's ok to be in a bad mood once in awhile. Sometimes just saying, "I'm in a bad mood!" can help, especially if it's followed by a reason, and "...but a hug from you would really be comforting right now." I think this would be a great model for your daughter.
I agree that a workout, or any kind of activity that gets you moving, even a brisk walk around a block or jogging to music can help. If it's more of an emotional release that you are needing (I can relate to that) you might try keeping a journal where you can write all the things you are feeling out. Afterward you can rip it up, throw it away, delete the file if you used your PC, etc. You can also go in the bathroom for a minute and just talk out loud and try to let it go.
Over the past 6 months I haven't been handling my own frustration well at all and it's manifested itself in negative behaviour towards people (adults) closest to me. Consequently I have been actively trying to reintroduce methods and my passions back into my life on a daily basis. Such as taking the time to practice my yoga (Yay, today was the first time in MONTHS) and spend time reading and just basically relaxing and chilling out in the garden (love to be surrounded by nature).

I believe that it is very important what Mothers/Women/Fathers/Men/Guardians take the time necessary to nurture the self. So often we tend to forget our own needs during the day to day responsibility of raising a family, although child/ren are the priority, it's very important that we don't neglect ourselves in the process.

My advice is to be kind to yourself and devote some time to your own needs occasionally
Good luck !!
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stand outside on the patio and scream
I am trying really hard to not do that as well.....I had been botteling it up and blowing up at my dh......realllllly working on it.
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Batting practice and tennis, where I can reallly swing at a ball.

Also, if you say to your child "I am getting frustrated" or "I am getting angry" while it is happening, that can help with the child seeing how you are feeling and also may defuse your fury. I am not suggesting a complete and continuous rundown on how you feel, but when you feel the steam about to come out of your ears, saying so may help a bit.

Good luck! I think just about everyone struggles with this.
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