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Discussion Starter #1
Do you think as they get older they should celebrate it and buy you gifts? Or is it something you and your partner celebrate together only?
 

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I would not expect a gift, but I think the union is worth of a small family celebration, like a special dinner or something.
 

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I may be a little weird, but I actually never *expect* people to buy me gifts. I often appreciate it when they do, but it isn't something that I want them to do unless they personally feel compelled to do it. It's one of the things that I dislike about Christmas (there's a lot I enjoy about it, but the required gift giving isn't one of those things).<br><br>
However, I greatly enjoy having others celebrate with me (or at the very least acknowledge) when important milestones come around. An anniversary is an important part of familial history -- often, it represents the birth of the family. So, I think it's awesome to have both a family celebration (of any size), and a personal, couple oriented celebration.
 

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I would not expect or want gifts, unless a cute 5 year old drew me a card or something. I was overwhelmed at Christmas with presents (for my daughter) and it really made me realize how much I hate forced gift giving and the obsession with presents that seems to invade our culture.<br><br>
I like the idea of celebrating with a family dinner but I have to say that my MIL is obsessed with celebrating everything and it only makes me want to say no. So I think you need to be careful not to go overboard with celebrating every freaking thing there is to celebrate (ala my MIL) unless your husband and kids have a similar celebratory personality.
 

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How old are we talking? As adults, I suppose I would like them to send a card or call. As older children/teens, I don't think that I expect anything from them. It's more of a couples thing for me. I think once you get into the 20-30 year range of marriage, others join in more.
 

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Traditionally we haven't celebrated my parents' anniversary and I don't expect our kids to celebrate ours. My sister and I have toasted our parents and given our best wishes, but no parties or gifts. They've said that it's a day special to them and us giving them some time to themselves is gift enough. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
That said, I think the big anniversaries -- 50 years, etc. -- would make for a fun party, if my folks agree. And when dh and I get there, we wouldn't expect one (or we'd just plan it ourselves), but we wouldn't object, either.
 

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The only acknowledgement that my siblings and I ever gave to my parent's (mother and step-father) anniversery was their 20th, mostly because we were not sure how long my step-father would live beyond that. We took them to a nice lunch. He made it another 10 years, but would not have been able to celebrate the 30th due to illness.<br><br>
The only reason my children acknowledge my anniversery, is because it is the same day dc#3 was born (on our 10th anniversery) and that is wacky to them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I do not expect gifts for anyone. DH bought me carpeting for the living room this year <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I'm weird, but I dont understand the big deal with anniversary's. This year will be our 7th, and I dont think we ever really celebrated it past the 1'st year. Its just not a big deal to us for some reason. I really dont understand buying people gifts for it either. My grandparents just celebrated a 50th, and that I can understand. But a present for every year I think it a little silly.
 

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I don't expect my kids to do anything. I usually call my parents and say Happy Anniversary, but I don't buy them things for it.
 

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I remember my mom getting mad at me as a teenager because I didn't buy her an anniversary card ... but then again, she was always mad at me when I was a teenager! Now she doesn't even remember MY anniversary and she walked me down the aisle - lol. I think anniversaries are important for the couple to acknowledge, not any one else.
 

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I don't expect my children to do anything for my anniversary when they're older/adults. The only people I want or need to observe that day are myself and DH. If my kids want to do something, I'm sure I would find that sweet, but really, I mostly feel like it's a private occasion for us. I actually don't really like receiving cards for our anniversary.<br><br>
I used to observe my parents' anniversary by calling them but at some point it became clear that my mom thought it was weird for me to do so because she considers it a day for just her and my dad. So I stopped. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It occurred to me that calling was a bad idea, anyway, since I might be interrupting their time together.<br><br>
On the flip side, DH's parents are all about sending a Hallmark card for every single possible occasion and we're in hot water if we don't send one!
 

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I guess I'm assuming what I will feel since DS is only a baby at the moment, but I don't anticipate expecting him to buy me a gift or a card or for us to have a special meal together. I'd be thrilled if he remembered the date and said Happy Anniversary, but that's about it.<br><br>
DH and I currently celebrate our anniversary by going out to dinner together and discussing how our marriage has gone over the last 12 months, and where we would like it to be over the the next 12 months. It's really more about us as a husband/wife than as a father/mother (even though the 2 are very closely linked) so I wouldn't expect my children to celebrate that with us.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I dont think they are too much of a big deal either. For the couple, yes, but not for others. However, dh and I dont give gifts or cards, just a happy wish and we go out for lunch so we can talk to each other uninterupted. We also take the kids out for dinner since we are a blended family, and we not only like to celebrate our comittment to each other, but the day our family "officially" joined.<br><br>
My IL seem to think their anniversary is the be all and end all however and its driving me crazy. Which would be fine, if they thought ALL anniversarys were important, but nope, just theirs. They EXPECT gifts and calls and dinners every freakin year! My parents didnt (for the time they were married) and this is all very foreign to me. They also expect (and get) big, huge rental catered functions for every 10 yr increment in their marriage. I just got the call from sil about "my share" of this years. (I lucked out and missed the last one 10 years ago, lol)<br><br>
Its all made me wonder how I'm going to be with my kids and my future anniversaries. I hope I dont become this self centred! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Do we have the same IL's? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"> Sounds like what we have to go through as well. Chaps my <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/moon.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="moon"> that we have to go out with IL's for a dinner that we then have to pay for, when DH and I never go out for our anni. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> And yes, I hear you on never being like this with my DC.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Goodness, we asked them to watch the kids so we could have lunch for our 1st anniversary. They asked, "why are you going out?" We told them, um, our 1st anniversary. They actually said, "so? whats the big deal?!"<br>
Ack!
 

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No, not at all. I don't have any expectations from my children regarding my wedding anniversary. It doesn't really have anything to do with them. Dh and I are so low-key about anniversaries anyway; we just exchange cards.<br><br>
ETA: Oh...I just read the OP's update. My goodness! I would be so stressed about having to make a big deal out of my parents or ILs' anniversary! I'm sorry for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Our anniversary is a special day for DH and I -- I don't expect anyone else to even remember when it is. Last year, for some reason, both DH's parents and my mom happened to give us cards -- I was pleasantly surprised, but certainly don't expect that to be a regular thing, and I don't expect the kids to keep track of it.<br><br>
The only anniversary (besides ours) that I keep track of (beyond a, "How was your anniversary -- did you guys do something fun?") is my brother's and his wife's who, for religious reasons, don't celebrate birthdays but do celebrate their anniversary, so I send them a gift because it's a way for me to let them know I'm thinking of them on a special day and still honor their beliefs.
 

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Maybe I'm a terrible child but I don't even know my parents' anniversary date off the top of my head.<br><br>
In my family, it was for my parents to celebrate.
 

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Nothing, really. Although, for our 25th I will be dropping hints for a party and for our 50th I'll expect them to do something really cool. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> jk. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
Seriously, it's our special day, not so much theirs. I'd love to hear a "Happy Anniversary" but it's not that big a deal to us.
 

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I don't think I've ever celebrated my parents anniversary, and I don't expect anyone to celebrate mine. It's the anniversary of the day DH and I got married, of course it's going to be more important to us than anyone else!<br><br>
I don't have a problem with celebrating big ones but not every year.
 
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