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Here are a few I use<br><br>
1) Praising effort -- Wow, you really thought hard about what to include in that essay!<br><br>
2) Praising the values behind the action -- I really admired the way you thought about what your Grandma would like when making that card for her. You've included so many of her favorite things!<br><br>
3) Making a comment that shows that you really paid attention to what they've done. "You used every single block in the block corner, what a complicated building. Tell me what you were thinking when you built it!" or "Hmmm, you used such bright colors here in the front, but you colored more gently in the background -- it really looks like that some days, especially in the morning before the fog drifts away". I think this is the difference between "You balanced really well on the beam." and "The transition from your round off to your handspring was soo smooth, I can tell you've really been practicing that move.". The second carries the message that their performance captivated you and you absorbed every minute of it.<br><br>
4) Making a connection to their feelings. "I can tell how proud you feel from the smile on your face!" or "A blue ribbon, exactly what you were aiming for". (if they told you on the way in, I hope I win a blue ribbon).<br><br>
Having said that, if I want my child to do a specific task, and he does it, I don't have a problem with "good job" or another comment that implies "yes, that's what I wanted". If I want my child to clear his plate after dinner, and one day he does it without reminders, then I'm going to let him know that I like that. I am going to make a judgement call. I'm not worried about increasing his effort or investment in plate clearing. I'm not worried that I'll stifle his creativity and that from now on he'll clear his plate exactly the same way every time. Similarly in the classroom, if it's a task with a clear right and wrong, I'll give feedback that they did in fact do it the right way (e.g. "Thanks for putting your coat away before you came to circle. Or "You remembered to check the sign for every problem. Good job!"). I try and vary what I say so it's not a broken record of "good job", "good job", but I do give feedback that confirms that they met my expectation.
1) Praising effort -- Wow, you really thought hard about what to include in that essay!<br><br>
2) Praising the values behind the action -- I really admired the way you thought about what your Grandma would like when making that card for her. You've included so many of her favorite things!<br><br>
3) Making a comment that shows that you really paid attention to what they've done. "You used every single block in the block corner, what a complicated building. Tell me what you were thinking when you built it!" or "Hmmm, you used such bright colors here in the front, but you colored more gently in the background -- it really looks like that some days, especially in the morning before the fog drifts away". I think this is the difference between "You balanced really well on the beam." and "The transition from your round off to your handspring was soo smooth, I can tell you've really been practicing that move.". The second carries the message that their performance captivated you and you absorbed every minute of it.<br><br>
4) Making a connection to their feelings. "I can tell how proud you feel from the smile on your face!" or "A blue ribbon, exactly what you were aiming for". (if they told you on the way in, I hope I win a blue ribbon).<br><br>
Having said that, if I want my child to do a specific task, and he does it, I don't have a problem with "good job" or another comment that implies "yes, that's what I wanted". If I want my child to clear his plate after dinner, and one day he does it without reminders, then I'm going to let him know that I like that. I am going to make a judgement call. I'm not worried about increasing his effort or investment in plate clearing. I'm not worried that I'll stifle his creativity and that from now on he'll clear his plate exactly the same way every time. Similarly in the classroom, if it's a task with a clear right and wrong, I'll give feedback that they did in fact do it the right way (e.g. "Thanks for putting your coat away before you came to circle. Or "You remembered to check the sign for every problem. Good job!"). I try and vary what I say so it's not a broken record of "good job", "good job", but I do give feedback that confirms that they met my expectation.