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A little background first...We have not taken our dc's to well checks since they were each 2 months old. We haven't had health insurance until now and didn't see the point in taking our healthy children to the doctor when we weren't vaxing them anyway. We recently relocated close to dh's family and have health insurance for the first time, and my MIL is very insistent that we take the kids to the ped. she used for dh and his sister. I am willing to get them a check up to put her mind at ease (I'd like to know they are as healthy as I think they are, too), but I'm worried about having "the talk" about not vaxing.<br><br>
Does anyone have any suggestions as to something short and sweet I can say when the dr asks why we don't vax? It's real easy at the 2 month wbv to ask to delay vaxes and then stop going, but it's a bit harder when they're older to keep saying <i>maybe later</i>. I don't want to get into a long discussion about it and have him try to convince me or try to make me feel guilty. I just want to convey to him that I've done my research and made up my mind and it isn't open for discussion. Hmm...maybe that's what I should say. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
What do you think?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lemongrass</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8991249"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just want to convey to him that I've done my research and made up my mind and it isn't open for discussion.</div>
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Why?<br><br>
I'm really not trying to be snarky here... just wanna know why many feel the urge to try to "convey their thoughts" on why they non-vax to a ped that more than likely is pro-vax? They won't change... you won't change. Save yourself from the argument and just say "no thanks, not today".
 

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I'd say 'we don't share the belief that vaccination is safe, effective and necessary'.<br><br>
But then I wouldn't even have to say this because I wouldn't go <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. You will not know how healthy your children are any more than you do now after visiting a ped who has never, ever seen them before for a few minutes! All that's going to happen - he is going to ask you if you have any concerns about their health, you will say no, and he will agree that they are healthy. And you will pay him for consultation <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">. That's the best case scenario, if he doesn't hassle you into a meaningless vaccination debate that you're trying to avoid anyway. Why bother?
 

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My line-<br>
'We have chosen to use the legal religious exemption and will not be doing any vaccinations.'<br><br><br><br><br>
Don't bother explaining reasons or anything, a respectful doc won't hassle you too much and a pushy one will just use whatever you say as a jumping off point for lectures and whatnot. If it is not up for discussion-don't discuss it!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lemongrass</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8991249"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Does anyone have any suggestions as to something short and sweet I can say when the dr asks why we don't vax?</td>
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You: "We are religiously opposed to the practice of immunization."<br><br>
Dr./Nurse: "Uh...what religion are you?"<br><br>
You: "That is private information that I will not discuss with you."<br><br>
Dr./Nurse: "But I'm just interested in what religion that is..."<br><br>
You: "It is not up for discussion."</div>
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If it goes any further than that, walk out.
 

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My solution is not to bother with WBVs. I can weigh my baby myself, thanks -- that's all they seem to do here. Weigh baby, ask how much he's eating, give shots. That's it.
 

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I'd do what EmmelineII said.<br><br>
Religious exemption - not up for discussion. Where I go they offered to put that in the notes so that I would not be asked at future apts. I have not been to any follow up ones, but we'll see if they can follow through or not.
 

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Hmm good point... when my doctor brought up contraception at my 6-week PP visit, I mentioned I was Catholic and she didn't push for anything, just asked me whether I'd looked into NFP!
 

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I agree with Spy...why bother in the first place, especially w/ a ped? That's just my opinion. Why not just find your family a good general practitioner with whom you can forge a long term relationship?
 

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I prefer to do WBVs for the CYA factor. Not that I expect anything to happen with DH and me, but just in case...I wouldn't want him to be able to tell a judge, "She refused to take the kids to routine WBVs, so she's clearly an unfit mother."<br><br>
As far as what to say, I agree with pulling the religion card and then politely declining to discuss your religion.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you for your thoughts. I am searching for a family practitioner right now, and when it comes up at the appointment, I will just politely decline any vaxes and tell them I have obtained a religious exemption for the older ones to attend school, end of story. I know that the doctor won't be able to determine much about their health - I am just doing it to establish a relationship with a doctor - and to get my inlaws off my case. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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I agree about it not being up for discussion or arguement.<br><br>
If you wanted to have a couple things memorized to give the doctor, so at least he/she knows you've educated yourself, you could say something along the line of "So many of those are for diseases that are lifethreatening for a baby, and mine are no longer babies." or "So many of those diseases aren't even around today." or "I would prefer for my child to get some of these things, to develop natural immunities to the disease for lifelong protection, rather than having to get boosters every 5-10 years for the rest of their life."<br><br>
GL
 

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Short & sweet?<br>
"No, thanks."<br><br>
If you're up to it, then just staring them down with a bored look on your face instead of arguing works too, but it takes awhile. lol, and alot of nerve. DH can do it, but I haven't been able to master that one yet!
 

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I told 2 dr's that asked that we don't vac for religious reasons. That ended the conversation right there.<br><br>
That said we have never gone to a WBV
 

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I mention that my brother, an attny, has advised us of our first ammendment rights. Now, I get treated with respect.<br><br>
I agree with the PPs, I wouldn't go to the visit just for a WBC. Also, if you give into your MIL now on the "check up" issue, you might be setting yourself up for future argument as I am assuming that she is totally pro-vaxing.
 
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