What Do You Tell People
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Joined
·
2,324 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> these are great answers! I am wondering, though, why on earth anyone would be asking why you didn't circ....? unless it is a close family member who is changing baby's diaper? I just can't picture it coming up in conversation I guess.<br><br>
That is one of my DH's hang ups with leaving intact- that his golf friends would think it was gross that our son was intact. Apparently they got into a discussion about circ/intact one afternoon and it was unanimous that it was horrendous for a parent to leave a baby intact <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> One of the men was in the service and knew/knew of some other man or men who decided to undergo circ since it would be free (Uncle Sam paying for it) and it was a terrible experience for that person(s) since it hurt so bad. Ergo, get it done on your babies so they don't have to suffer as an adult. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> My suggestion was that he just never mention it to them. And added that if any of them ever *asked*, that there was something bizarrely wrong with them and that he should A) tell a white lie & B) sever any relationship with that person.
That is one of my DH's hang ups with leaving intact- that his golf friends would think it was gross that our son was intact. Apparently they got into a discussion about circ/intact one afternoon and it was unanimous that it was horrendous for a parent to leave a baby intact <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> One of the men was in the service and knew/knew of some other man or men who decided to undergo circ since it would be free (Uncle Sam paying for it) and it was a terrible experience for that person(s) since it hurt so bad. Ergo, get it done on your babies so they don't have to suffer as an adult. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> My suggestion was that he just never mention it to them. And added that if any of them ever *asked*, that there was something bizarrely wrong with them and that he should A) tell a white lie & B) sever any relationship with that person.
Joined
·
1,538 Posts
Well, intact is the norm here, so noone would actually ask this question, but I'd say I see it as genital mutilation [severing a healthy, functioning body part is mutilation] which should be outlawed for both boys and girls.
Joined
·
11,770 Posts
I would actually answer the question seriously and not do anything to make people feel stupid and therefore defensive about circ (which they will have likely done to their kids or had done to themselves or their brothers, partners, etc.). Many, many, many people have simply never heard anything about circ other than that it is necessary, and they have no idea that the foreskin is an integral part of the penis. I don't think you can underestimate the ignorance people in the US have about circ and the foreskin.<br><br>
Even my own mom, who has been changing my son's diapers since he was born in 2002, had no idea until last month that the infant foreskin is attached to the penis like a fingernail is to the finger and that they have to use a blunt probe to break the adhesions during a circ. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
One context the question has come up in for me has been tabling for an intactivist group. My opening response to the question is that the foreskin constitutes half of the erogeneous tissue of the penis, some 10,000 to 20,000 nerve endings, and that circ is not only unnecessary for medical or hygenic reasons but actively detrimental.
Even my own mom, who has been changing my son's diapers since he was born in 2002, had no idea until last month that the infant foreskin is attached to the penis like a fingernail is to the finger and that they have to use a blunt probe to break the adhesions during a circ. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
One context the question has come up in for me has been tabling for an intactivist group. My opening response to the question is that the foreskin constitutes half of the erogeneous tissue of the penis, some 10,000 to 20,000 nerve endings, and that circ is not only unnecessary for medical or hygenic reasons but actively detrimental.
I am surprised how quick word got around our little community of mom's about me not wanting to circ. I have been asked and have fount the best strategy to be sayig, "Oh we did our research and decided against it." This is usually followed by many more curious questions and that's not a bad thing.
Joined
·
12,213 Posts
No one has ever asked me but if they did I would say because it is medically unnecessary and painful. Then if they wanted to know more I'd go into more detail.
I left my sons intact at a time when almost no one did, and the truth is, no one asked me that question! Either they assumed he was circ'ed or they saw me change his diaper, look surprised, but didn't say anything. I think they decided to mind their own business! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
I actually think the question is more contentious today than 20 years ago because the circ. rate is roughly half and half, so more people are exposed to intactivism now than they were then. I hope that by the time my grandchildren are born, that the circ. rate will be about where it is in the UK.<br>
Anyway to answer the OP, if someone back then had asked me why my ds wasn't circ'ed, I would have said, "Did you know they don't use anesthesia diring circumcision?!? I couldn't put my son through that kind of pain!!"
I actually think the question is more contentious today than 20 years ago because the circ. rate is roughly half and half, so more people are exposed to intactivism now than they were then. I hope that by the time my grandchildren are born, that the circ. rate will be about where it is in the UK.<br>
Anyway to answer the OP, if someone back then had asked me why my ds wasn't circ'ed, I would have said, "Did you know they don't use anesthesia diring circumcision?!? I couldn't put my son through that kind of pain!!"
Joined
·
3,757 Posts
People have asked if we would if we're having a boy (we don't know yet, but very very soon we will!!!) Well... first of all it's not my penis. Second of all it's not recommended by any medical organisation. Third, the closest hospital to me doesn't even perform them anymore because it's fallen so far out of favour medically (not that I'm planning a hospital birth, but the rates for circ here are really low). Fourth, it's a barbaric procedure that has permanent, bad side-effects for the baby for the rest of his life.<br><br>
If they try to give me any [email protected] about it needing to be done later I tell them that my dh is intact and we both LOVE IT!!! He would never dream of cutting the most sensitive part of his penis off and we are both forever grateful to his Mother for sticking up for him when he couldn't stick up for himself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Not to mention, it's nice to never ever need any artificial lubes :LOL<br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
If they try to give me any [email protected] about it needing to be done later I tell them that my dh is intact and we both LOVE IT!!! He would never dream of cutting the most sensitive part of his penis off and we are both forever grateful to his Mother for sticking up for him when he couldn't stick up for himself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Not to mention, it's nice to never ever need any artificial lubes :LOL<br><br>
love and peace. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
Its not medically necessary and the rates are pretty low in the NW so we didn't see a cultural need for it. Plus once we found out how the foreskin protects the penis and how painful the surgery is, even with the best pain medication available, we knew that we didn't want to do that to our son.<br>
[then I'd add] Its unfortunate that more doctors don't share the truth with their patients. I know my first OB didn't tell us anything about it. Thank goodness I read up on it instead of relying on a doctor to educate us.
[then I'd add] Its unfortunate that more doctors don't share the truth with their patients. I know my first OB didn't tell us anything about it. Thank goodness I read up on it instead of relying on a doctor to educate us.
Joined
·
15,101 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MelKnee</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I tell them it was not my decision to make. The penis does not belong to me, it belongs to my son.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MelKnee</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I tell them it was not my decision to make. The penis does not belong to me, it belongs to my son.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat">
Dealt with this today. "You mean you didn't do it? You should take him and have it done, they can get all kinds of infections"<br><br>
"Yeah? So can we. I've had yeast infections and I even had a CUT partner who had a yeast infection so obviously it doesn't do much. If he wants it done, he can do it when he's older. It's his body and his choice."
"Yeah? So can we. I've had yeast infections and I even had a CUT partner who had a yeast infection so obviously it doesn't do much. If he wants it done, he can do it when he's older. It's his body and his choice."
I have been asked this question several times and I generally mention something about how everyone in this country realizes that female genital mutilation is a barbaric procedure, and it's only a matter of time before more people realize that it's equally barbaric to alter a baby boys genitals.
Joined
·
2,132 Posts
I've never been asked - and my sons are 11 years old.<br><br>
If someone DID ask, I'd say "There was nothing wrong with our babies when they were born - they didn't need surgery".<br><br>
Any bogus excuse they could come up with at that point would be answered with appropriate facts.
If someone DID ask, I'd say "There was nothing wrong with our babies when they were born - they didn't need surgery".<br><br>
Any bogus excuse they could come up with at that point would be answered with appropriate facts.
Joined
·
6,717 Posts
Easy, I'd ask them if they were some kind of sicko for wondering about my child's genitals.
No one has ever asked but I would just say that like so many things they make us do to our kids, it's totally senseless and can cause more harm than good. I've never heard of anyone dying from not being circumsized and they can't botch it if they don't do it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> (my brother had a botch job apparantly)
Joined
·
15 Posts
I just say with a shocked look on my face "Why would anyone do that" and If they come back with some comment then I get into the facts. Dh is even more upfront he tells people that his penis is his and his parents had NO right to screw with it and he has no right to screw with his boys.
1 - 20 of 21 Posts
Join the discussion
Join now to ask and comment!