[BensMom]

I dont know if its because he is older/bigger and therefore expected to know better now or that I am distracted with a busy toddler and cant give him as much of my attention anymore, but we are really starting to get the "looks" when we are out and about. I want to have a flashing neon sign on his back that says "autism". I havent really clicked with any of the advocacy designs currently out there and just reviewing today in my mind, I thought of this:

*FRONT*
Thanks to my
ASPERGERS
I dont understand your
dirty looks and disapproval

*BACK*
But my mom does

Too in your face? Or does it send the message?

 

[dianamerrell]

love it!

 

[ryansmom02]

I love it...

 

[Individuation]

Ummmm... I think it's kind of offensive. I'm not saying that to start a fight. I'm really not. But if I saw your son in the playground, I'd say something to you about it. I can elaborate on why, if you want.

1) I'm not 100% cool about t shirts that divulge children's conditions. It seems there's a right-to-privacy thing there. Maybe that isn't a factor for you--some people don't believe that sort of right applies until a child is older. Still, I do think it's unfair to indiscriminately broadcast someone else's condition to the world at large.

2) He may not be processing the "dirty looks and disapproval" in a way that seems to you that he "understands" them, but if my experience and those of other adults with ASCs holds true, he is aware of what is going on and it will stay with him when he's older. Whether you are supportive of him and his differences or embarrassed about him will make a tremendous difference in how traumatic these experiences are--YOU are much more important to him than someone on the street.

3) The statement on the shirt would seem to imply that people with AS wouldn't "understand" the responses of others around them. Someone reading the shirt who had no knowledge of what AS is would probably assume your son had limited cognitive function, based on the "I don't understand you" message of the shirt. If he indeed has AS, that simply isn't true. (ETA: he might not understand because he's a toddler, but he's perfectly capable of understanding with AS.)

4) I do not like it that the shirt purports to speak in the child's voice, using "I" statements. Presumably, he has his own voice, and does not need to wear billboards proclaiming what mom wishes passerby to know about him.

5) The final statement on the shirt ("but my mom does") brings it back to being all about you. It really isn't--or, it shouldn't be--but if the point is that you are fed up with the looks/stares/attitude, then why force your son to wear the advocacy-gear? Why not buy/make/wear a shirt yourself? I've seen a number of moms with the "Proud of my autistic son/daughter" shirts. It's a tasteful way to get the message across.

 

[BensMom]

Thank you for your opinion. I definitely think him reading it would be interesting. I like the idea of making my own shirt, since its really all about me in the end.

Right now he doesnt notice the looks and the attitudes, but I hope one day he will.

I havent run any batches of the shirt yet!

Just the results of my frustration of the past week with nasty looks and mutterings.

 

[AuntLavender]

I love the shirt but I think it's one of those things you wish your child had on only at certain times like your recent nasty looks and mutterings!

I also read somewhere not all people know what Asperger's is but they recognize the word "Autism" better. I have a backpack that reads "Autism Would you know if you saw it?" (I don't mean to imply my backpack is better than your shirt idea.)

At the post office buying Star Wars stamps a postal employee yelled "Parents Get you child off the stamp machine it will break" when my son was just looking at it and he pushed 2 buttons. Of course the place was packed. I was in the process of getting him back in line without melting down when she repeated it (is she blind?) and I actually said "My son has autism and he is trying to behave!" Then I heard "Next?" and the lady behind me said I could go and I said "No thanks" and waiting in the line I was in. (I think the postal clerk was trying to be nice. You see she was at a separate cashier but I continued to wait in line for people mailing things even though I just wanted to buy stamps - clear as mud my explanantion eh? LOL!)

As my children get older we have more of those days. I wish people could be as forgiving of older children as they are with babies and toddlers.

Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 10 (AS), 9, 7, and 4 (Apraxia, Dysarthria, HFA?)

 

[bluegrassgirl]

There are a couple people on Ebay that make disability advocate t-shirts. I have 5 shirts that are really cool looking that say:

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" (it shows a girl popping a wheelie in her chair)
"Wheelchair Diva"
"WARNING: Staring Causes Paralysis"
"I'm More Than Just a Hot Chick in a Wheelchair"
"Princesses Have Wheelchairs Too!"

Emma also has one of the Princess shirts and another that shows a little kid in a power chair and underneath it it says "Hot Wheels".
We also have sweatshirts that I made with iron-on transfers that say "My Mommy Chose Life" that us 3 girls wore during a pro-life march we participated in last January. I got several compliments on them. I even had one lady from a church group tell me that she thought it was so wonderful that I was taking care of two disabled kids while being disabled myself.

I wouldn't be offended by your shirt's saying. People need to be know that disabled kids are just as good as non-disabled kids.

Jessie
(single mommy to Emma, 3 years

and Angela, 2 years

)

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