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I just wanted to let you know that I've been where you are, OP and book mark this thread so I can come back to it this evening. I've got some ideas for you and just general thoughts on your post, which I find very insightful, BTW.

How old is our child?
 

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I wanted to get on here but I'm having trouble articulating AP for a Toddler.

First, I just wanted to say that the transition between meeting every want/need of an infant was really difficult for me. So I understand some of your frustration.

I guess the biggest thing for me is really thinking about my child. In order to AP/GD her I have to be really focused on *why* she reacts in the ways she does. This is a difficult skill and I'm sure I'm wrong from time to time but understanding the underlying causes of certain behavior is really important for toddlers.

It should go without saying that AP also includes being gentle and treating your child with respect but I've also been transitioning my own needs into our lives more and more as DC gets older. In many ways I see our needs as equal. We do quite a bit of flexing for each other. We have a partnership, so to speak.

Oh, I just saw Monkey's Mom's post. Yes, I would definitely add physical health to this because DC isn't nursing anymore so it's up to me in a much different way to provide for her nutrition.

And, I would say that AP necessitates serious guidance/discipline. With this I think things begin to vary much more depending on the child. But, for us, this means being as flexible as possible, being clear about boundaries, and being creative, firm, and gentle with "enforcement".

Some people bring up an extremely important thing. Parenting stages challenge different people in different ways. We will have skills for certain areas and lack them in others. This, IMO is nothing to be ashamed of. I anticipate challenges during the childhood/preadolescent years, which happen to be many people's favorite stage.

Oh, and I second 'Becoming the Parent...'. I took a class from her and she's awesome! Definitely a 'meet you where you're at' type support and I think the idea of being "in sync" came from her. Sometimes we gel with our child other times we don't. I don't mean to belittle your feelings but it helps me to keep this in mind when we're out of sync.
 
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