[thebarkingbird]

i keep reading these descriptions and they sound just like me and my dh as well as a couple of the men with whom i have been very close. it makes sense. also, the labels can be terribly important to a person who likes seeing things within the framework of a classification system. of course i know that any classification system is, essentially an illusion and that systems for classifying people are more that way than most kinds. the idea of knowing where you fit into that system though can help a person look for patterns. knowing "where i fit" would not be limiting to me. it would be helpful. i can look to other people who fit more or less in the same place and ask them how they deal with things. you can look at research conducted on or with people who share many traits essential to your personality and see if there are any broad patterns you might like to look to as "normal for you". that is terribly important to people and if you've spent your whole life feeling like a freak then it becomes more important. the reason i have considered trying to find a psyc to eval. me is that i really can't find a group of people "like me" of course we know that nobody actuially is the prototypical mother but having a picture of her gives us something to look to, to examine, and to point to "i am a mother. i am that... kinda" if you feel that you are very different from the prototypical person in terms of emotional reactions, basic preferences, kinds of interests, and your manner of pursuing happiness then trying to find a loose label can be of great importance.

note, of all my smoking buddies (cigarettes. we go outside between classes.) at school there is a man i like more than most. people thought i was flirting him because i seem to look him in the eyes more than any other man, even my husband. today i realized it's because i've never seen him without sunglasses

 

[thebarkingbird]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl I tend to talk about me because it doesn't register that I need to ask. My sil pointed it out to me one day several years ago, so now I try and make a point to ask other ppl about themselves.

knowing that other people have this issue makes me feel like less of a bad person. my solution is usually to hang out with other pushy people. i have been so embarrassed before because of this.

 

[thebarkingbird]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl Yeah, it's awkward, isn't it? I felt SO HORRIBLE and kind of hurt because SHE was clearly hurt that I didn't ask much about her life. I just honestly didn't even realize I was doing it.

it's very hard to explain to people that i AM interested and I DO care but that sometimes i must be reminded to ask.

another woman gave a presentation on autism in my public speaking class on the same day i did. she kept talking about how "they have really bad social skills and stuff" mine was on how to communicate with autistic people (hers was a roadmap to a cure and talking about how kids "don't look you in the eye when they even feel like listening"). my advice to the class was to simply speak up and to ask people about lack of eye contact or remind themt here's something you want to talk about. this was a revolutionary idea to some of them. they percieved it as being rude. i think it's a little uncomfortable to be reminded but SO much better than walking away and realize later that i mgiht have hurt someone.

 

[thebarkingbird]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon ok I did the test and it says this; Your Aspie score: 112 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 125 of 200 You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits what does that mean though????

that means you are one weird lady and that you are on my "cool list"