[Brigianna]

I don't know enough autistic women well enough to notice any particular patterns (IRL I know one, and she's my niece). But in my own case...
as a young child I was quite oblivious to other people, but later took an interest in them not as peers but as subjects of observation (I attribute this mostly to the influence of my people-watching father who taught me almost all of what I do know about nonverbal communication). I never had the raging, screaming, tantruming that is often associated with autistic children. I just got very quiet. I was actually very obedient and put great effort into doing what was expected of me, though I was often unsuccessful. I took more and more interest in people as I got older. I have never been good with eye contact but I have learned to look at the mouth and kind of fake it.

As an adult, it's harder to tell because I have various other conditions as well, but, for the most part, I live a very closed-off life; I have my children and my husband and my books and my computer and no ambitions. I vacillate between completely non-communicative and excessively oversharing. I still have certain autistic mannerisms but I exhibit them in private.

I tend to have a short attention span and have difficulty focusing enough to accomplish much conventional work, though this is not entirely due to autism. I am a sahm but not particularly good at it. I did fairly well in school and college largely because of talent in reading, memorization, and test-taking, but without much ability for long-term recall of information or, still less, skills.

Hmm... this is probably not very helpful to you. Do you have some more specific questions? I am better at those.

 

[Brigianna]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justthatgirl Understandable. She said that a few weeks ago on a day that I really needed to hear it. I randomly say this just because. I think it's funny, but I can tell other ppl think it's weird. And you're right -- knowing IS half the battle. And now it doesn't seem so hard to continue getting somewhere. I see this constantly with Max. Mine say it, too, and I remember saying it to my mother. Eventually I realized that I wasn't safe to release and be me, so I quit saying it. I tell my kids now that they can live with us as long as they want to. But yeah, the negativity can be very wearing. Yeah, I've always felt more at ease with the conversations of men than with the conversations of women. I can pretend less w/ men. With women it's expected to have the same ideas and activities in common. Definitely. And in my case, I also think I married a guy w/ asperger's. And his brother has it even MORE noticeably than dh or I. It's kind of funny. Aaaack!! Ruuun! The autistics bred!!! I also know that I'm very blunt and more than once dh tells me that I need to say something differently, or instead of making plans I needed to see if he had anything on the schedule already, etc. I've had ppl be completely incredulous that I said such-and-such and I'm truly confused as to why it's such an issue. Just be honest. Say it. Why not? you know what I mean? I also stim. Rocking is a big one for me. I love to rock and I always have. I don't like my current rocking chair, though. And I flap when I'm very excited.And deep pressure. I need dh to lay on me and squish me. Intimacy is very boring to him but GLORIOUSLY WONDERFULLY comfortable for me. I typed a lot of my sensory issues in the Adult Sensory Thread that's floating around here somewhere. I'll have to look for it.

This all describes me very well! Particularly the desire for compression. I have stacks of heavy pillows and blankets that I like to wrap up in.