[ChristyMarie]

Totally rookie question!

I've just started taking my 14 month DS to little claases. Let's just say he is different. All the other kids sit there calmly. Mine is examining everything in the room, figuring out how to escape, jabbering, active, etc. He's constantly active, seeking, DOING, he's just not content to sit and watch.

How do you define spirited? Starting to think of buying some spirited parenting books but I'm not sure if he is in that category...?

 

[Inanna_Mama]

Here's a good link to give you the basics on spirited-ness:

http://www.nurturingourfamilies.com/.../exptdefn.html

 

[ChristyMarie]

Thanks for the link!

 

[mammal_mama]

Your son may very well be spirited -- but IMO his behavior sounds like totally normal 14-month-old behavior. I've never heard of 14mo children sitting and listening in "class." What kinds of classes are there for babies this young, anyway?

 

[ann_of_loxley]

I was going to say...I wouldnt ever expect a 14 month old to sit still! I dont expect my 2 year old son to either! hehe

 

[ChristyMarie]

It is a little 30 minute music class where they get to play with small music toys - this week it was jingle bells. And sing and bounce and walk around and we sing. So there's music and movement and activity - he just was more interested in exploring everything else.

 

[SwissMama]

Maybe he just has different interests.

Like exploring.

I'm oversimplifying for the sake of brevity, but its like they say: some kids are thinkers, some kids are doers. You have the kids the quietly pull tape out of cassettes, and then you have the kids that bulldoze through a room. It could be he's fascinated with the new surrounding and wants to see everything about it (i.e. the building).

My little girl isn't the bulldozer, but she's not the one sitting in a group ringing bells either. she'd be more likely to grab my hand and say "lets blow this place and go get some ice cream".

 

[noralou]

My ds is also one who wants to explore every nook and cranny in the room, open anything that had a door or lid, check out the screws on the hinges, push any buttons in his reach

...
We took a very similar class (Music Together), and he was rarely doing what the rest of the group was doing. Fortunately, the teacher didn't expect the kids to follow along with everything. As long as everyone was safe, it was all good. I'm so glad, because he really surprised me by singing the songs, and showing real interest in rhythm and melody ... but not during class. He was clearly absorbing quite a bit from the experience, though you wouldn't know it from watching him in the class.
I still wouldn't describe him as "Spirited," (though he sure has spirit!

), because, emotionally speaking, he's relatively easy-going. He does get frustrated at times, of course, but he recovers really quickly. I don't think "active" or "busy" is the same as spirited ...

 

[mammal_mama]

Of course, some spirited kids have ALL the spirited traits, while some just have some ... i.e. some are more sensitive, some more energetic, some more persistent, and so on. But sometimes it's hard to tell when they're toddlers, 'cause it's such an intense stage in and of itself.

 

[mammal_mama]

Also, in my opinion, attachment parented children tend to feel safer expressing the full intensity of their emotions, so they may appear more spirited than kids who get more mainstream parenting ... i.e. the ones who get spanked or confined to their rooms for throwing tantrums.

I know a mother who actually had a policy of putting her children in time-out for crying, unless they were crying for what she saw as a "good reason".

: Spirited children in those kinds of situations are probably more likely to turn it all inward.

 

[SwissMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammal_mama Also, in my opinion, attachment parented children tend to feel safer expressing the full intensity of their emotions, so they may appear more spirited than kids who get more mainstream parenting ... i.e. the ones who get spanked or confined to their rooms for throwing tantrums. I know a mother who actually had a policy of putting her children in time-out for crying, unless they were crying for what she saw as a "good reason". : Spirited children in those kinds of situations are probably more likely to turn it all inward.

Thats a really interesting perspective. I never thought of it that way.

 

[Mammy Julie]

Also, in my opinion, attachment parented children tend to feel safer expressing the full intensity of their emotions, so they may appear more spirited than kids who get more mainstream parenting ... i.e. the ones who get spanked or confined to their rooms for throwing tantrums.

QUOTE]

i totally agree with that. If a child knows he has the freedom to explore his/her surroundings then he/she is more likely to make the most of that opportunity.

Adam loves to explore but also has his moments when he likes to sit and observe. He shows some spirited behaviour but i wouldnt label him as that because sometimes hes quite calm and easygoing too.