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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is my fourth that I am expecting and although I kind of wanted a 4th, it wasn't exactly timed. My third is a girl, three and a half years after 2 boys who are only 16 months apart. The thing is, I'm really close to dd. Perhaps because the boys are so close in age they often play together without her, go to school and other activities more than she does, etc. But also just because of the way she is.<br><br>
I feel really scared about the baby spoiling the relationship I have with dd. I had other issues to work through regarding the baby but I feel like mostly I'm looking forward to it now, except for worrying about what will happen to me and dd.<br><br>
I guess this is mostly natural as I know I worried about ds1 before ds2 was born and dh says I also worried about ds2 before dd was born. But I'm really hoping to find some reassurance from other moms who worried and perhaps even had problems at the beginning with other babes, but got over it all....<br><br>
Anyone??
 

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I was really worried about adding MT to our family 2 years ago. There are 4 years between he and my oldest (T), who turned 6 this March. I have a very special relationship with T, and I was very concerned about how that would change. I realize he's younger than your oldest by 3 years, but it was still a very big issue for me. I was afraid he'd resent the baby, resent me for bringing the chaos into the house (and chaos it was...MT was a tough kid, very high needs, and still is at age 2), and that I'd lose what we had together. DH and I were separated for 9 months when T was 2 1/2 years old, and we grew very close during that time.<br><br>
But I was wrong. Timothy was old enough to help me with the baby, but also old enough to roll his eyes with me when MT would cry "Mummy, those babies are soooooooo loud", and I'd say "isn't it loud? maybe we need some of my earplugs...". It became like a secret club - Mummy and Timothy were in this club, and Mark Thomas, while definetly part of the family, had to wait until he was much older to gain his membership card. It's hard to explain, but it actually worked out exactly opposite what I expected. Instead of weakening our relationship, it strengthened it. We had fun making baby food messes when MT started eating fruits and veggies, and when MT graduated to bathing in the real bathtub with his brother, I let Tim wash him up.<br><br>
It's brought us closer, not farther apart, and I can't explain why. But I'm glad of it. That said.........this time around I'm concerned about MT, and how he'll react to Baby Boy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you so much for giving me a different perspective! It's been bothering me so much but I can see that alternative picture now too.<br><br>
Thanks.
 

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I've been fretting over this same thing myself. I could have wrote your post except I have a ds (number3 to be exact) and I'm really afraid of what is going to happen when I bring home baby. He's my shadow.. and our bond is really different than my bond with my first two. This will be my first daughter and on top of being afraid of how Aidan will react I'm petrified of how I'm going to feel. I suppose I have no real advice for you other than to say I'm there with you and hopefully the transition will be very smooth for both of us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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