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when moms are NIP, it always seems really obvious to me what's happening--blanket or no blanket, nipple flash or no nipple flash. so why even bother trying to "hide" it? it just seems like putting a lot of effort into something that's fruitless.<br><br>
you really can't hide the fact that you are nursing. or if you can, i don't know the secret trick! maybe that's something they'll "teach" me once i'm nursing in a few weeks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
besides, what seems to bother people about NIP (i mean, what bothers people who are stupid enough to be bothered) seems to be not the fact that they can <i>see</i> "boob" but that they can <i>tell</i> you are nursing--which you can just infer no matter how "discreet" someone is being. so the whole ploy to be discreet just seems doomed to fail--you can never be discreet "enough."<br><br>
also, doesn't the whole concept of "discretion" imply you're doing something wrong or questionable in the first place? i just don't get it. people don't talk about eating discreetly for adults, so why for babies? isn't eating something culturally accepted to do in public (in our culture) and isn't NIP just <i>someone eating?</i>
 

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Yes to all of the above. It's why I find the whole thing about "discretion" and "modesty" to be so offensive--breastfeeding isn't something one needs to be "discreet" or "modest" <i>about.</i>
 

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Why do I have to want to let it all hang out? I'm discrete when I NIP mainly because I don't feel like flashing half of my body to the world, it has nothing to do with being ashamed that I am nursing or trying to hide what ds is doing. I don't care if there is a nipple flash but you know I don't wear a bikini because I'm not keen on my awful stretch marks being on display and I cover myself up while nursing for the same reason. I don't sit normally with bare breasts hanging out of my shirt mainly because I don't want to, so when ds nurses and he pops off because he's finished, or distracted for several moments the breast goes away until he is ready to nurse again. Why do I need to want everyone around me to be staring at my bared body in order to prove that I am not ashamed of nursing in public?<br><br>
edit I'm sorry if I sounded like my back was up in this post.. I didn't intend that, and I also didn't intend to sound IN ANY WAY like I am promoting the hiding of breastfeeding in public...and I think I responded before knowing the entire issue... however I personally choose not to, for example, leave one breast bare and hanging out while the other is being nursed by my baby.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Meg_s</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7921582"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Why do I have to want to let it all hang out? I'm discrete when I NIP mainly because I don't feel like flashing half of my body to the world, it has nothing to do with being ashamed that I am nursing or trying to hide what ds is doing. I don't care if there is a nipple flash but you know I don't wear a bikini because I'm not keen on my awful stretch marks being on display and I cover myself up while nursing for the same reason. I don't sit normally with bare breasts hanging out of my shirt mainly because I don't want to, so when ds nurses and he pops off because he's finished, or distracted for several moments the breast goes away until he is ready to nurse again. Why do I need to want everyone around me to be staring at my bared body in order to prove that I am not ashamed of nursing in public?</div>
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You shouldn't have to! I hear you completely! Totally, totally agree!<br><br><i>Neither</i> of us should have to adhere to modesty standards that don't make sense to us.<br><br>
I'm all for people who are modest just because they <i>are</i>, whether they're Amish, Mormon, Orthodox Jewish or just everyday breast-covering Americans. However, the law in this case states that I don't have to feel the way you do, and it's still OK for me to NIP. I don't have to give a damn if my little one pops off, because obscenity laws do not apply to me and I'm not doing anything wrong.<br><br>
I don't have a problem with your way of doing things, but it shouldn't be the ideal I should have to adhere to, either.
 

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I used to be able to stealth-nurse... (it requires a tiny baby that can nurse through the opening created by undoing one shirt button and tugging the shirt a bit to one side. Did that make sense?) I'd be walking around someplace and people would come up and talk to me, mention dd, ask "can I see her face or will she wake up?" They had <i>no idea</i> that she was eating.<br><br>
Now, with a 6 month old, it is impossible. I wasn't trying to hide it anyway, it just sort of happened.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Meg_s</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7921582"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">however I personally choose not to, for example, leave one breast bare and hanging out while the other is being nursed by my baby.</div>
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Is this an issue where you live? I don't know anyone who does this.
 

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I don't know of any one who nurses bare breasted in public but I do know that a lot of people think that's what happens.<br><br>
Yes, if you are familiar with the nursing hold you will know no matter what that a baby is eating within view of you. You will definitely know if mom uses a cover of some kind, it is one way to announce to people what is going on. Most people aren't familiar with the nursing hold and if the baby is lying still they assume the child is sleeping, I've had that reaction from people too. My bet is that half of the people who look at me while nursing an infant probably don't know that the baby isn't just asleep.<br><br>
But it's true, there is no level of discretion that is good enough for those that are simply opposed to the idea of breastfeeding itself. That's not the moms' fault or her responsibility to change or react to, so she needs to just go about her business and nurse the way that works best for her and her child, because onlookers have the freedom to look away. There is nothing inherently impolite about breastfeeding, no matter where it takes place - it's eating, plain and simple. If some people have twisted the matter so much in their own minds that they are uncomfortable knowing breastfeeding is happening near them, that's their own responsibility to take care of.
 
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