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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok so my mindset has completely changed from #1 to #2. I can't seem to talk my DH into a home birth this time around so back to the hospital it is but it is actually called a "birth center" and they and my OB are supportive of natual births and walking, tub (although you can't deliver in the tub) aromatherapy, and the big ball! But I digress.

So this time we are saying NO VISITORS at all. I don't care if the pope comes he will have to visit us at home when we get there. Just DH and my mom in the delivery room that is it. We aren't going to call anyone when we go except to tell my mom to get her butt down there and we aren't calling anyone until we get home.

If there happens to be someone that gets through into the room I am not going to say "do you mind if I nurse the baby?" and then use a blanket. I am just going to whip it out and feed my baby. Actually I won't have to worry about it because there won't be any visitors :LOL

Last time we had so many people coming in and out during labor and a ton of people waiting outside in the hallway it was a lot of pressure and I couldn't relax....so much so that I almost had to have a c-sec because I wouldn't dialate. THen after DD was born there were so many visitors that I didn't get any sleep.

I know I am going to irk a lot of family members but ...oh well.
 

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That sounds like an excellent idea. I know I couldn't relax with people in the hallway trying to looking the door window or some such to see what is happening. With my first (born at home), my midwives and dh were present, and I invited one friend to be my labor support person. She brought her boyfriend over. I don't blame her too much, since when I called her I told her I wasn't even sure if I was actually in labor. By the time she got there I was one hour away from pushing (in transition), and I told my midwives to make him leave. My friend didn't even end up going into the room when I was laboring, I was already so far along and doing fine and I did not want to integrate her into my labor "ritual". I hope for even more privacy with this birth.
 

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I would do the same thing. I'm kind of private anyway, but during labor with my son i really turned inward and the last thing I wanted was a bunch of people around!

I think your plan sounds great.
 

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At this birth, I want the water HOTTER. It was like luke warm for my birth last time. Plus, I'll get in a lot sooner.
I'm also going to wear a tank top. I wore a nursing gown last time and got naked by the time it was done.
I'm pretty modest.
If Dwayne is as tired as he was last time, I'm going to see if my mw asst. who is also a doula will come a bit earlier and work with me.
Thats also if Dwayne has a job. I'd want to pay her extra.

Thats about it..
 

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Well, there'll be no homebirth for me, so I'm hoping that I can have the hospital birth I want. No IV, freedom to walk around if I want, etc. Truthfully I'm hoping it will go as fast as my last one did and I won't be in labor in the hospital long at all.
 

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well lat tiem i had a 37 1/2 hour labor ugh
and the whoel time everyone kepttelling me to reserve my energy and rest rest rest incase my labor went long
but ya know what? i was still exausted the last ten or so hours..adn ithink that all my laying down caused my labor to go longer.

so this tiem i am gonna try to walk aroudn more..and if i go into labor when ds is alseep we are goona see if it's true..you knwo what they say about makingout and feelign totally loved and spoiled does for painreleif and dilation....

maybe i'll get lucky and have an orgasmic birth (or whatever they call them)....maybe
 

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I too want to be more relaxed! I think the first time my anxiety level contributed to my labor stalling and things went downhill from there. So, I really feel I need to prepare more this time mentally. My anxiety last time was mainly I think just because it was my first and I wasn't quite sure what to expect - despite reading alot and taking Bradly classes. Also, it being my first, I guess I wanted everything to be perfect. So, with me it's mostly a mental thing.

Things I want to "do" differently are stay home longer before going to the hospital (hospital tub birth), and walking more. I was thinking I wanted my mom there next time because she takes good pictures and I feel I don't have enough of DS during those precious first moments, but then again I'm afraid her presence may make me more anxious. So, I've got to think about that one.

Oh and I also want to figure out something to wear in the tub. I'm pretty modest too I guess.

Meredith
 

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I can't stand wet clothes, but if I was going to wear anything in the tub (last time I was in so much pain I had no clue what was going on, let alone what I was wearing -- I think I was naked) I'd get one of those Land's End Tankini tops...you know, like the half part of a bathing suit, that covers your middle. I think someone must make that style in maternity....!

I feel like thsi pg is starting all over again - new city, new docs, new hospitals...and since I Had to be induced with #1 I have no idea what natural labor feels like (even though we took an 8 week nat birth class!)...so I'm really just hoping not to get induced, and to know how long to stay at home. My best friend was with us last time, and I'd love her to be here again, but I don't think it's possible....our family is all cross country, so privacy's no problem (Do people really hover around during birth and try to peak in?? That'd KILL Me).
 

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We're not doing a thing different except that my mother is no longer close enough to be there for the entire labor(Thank God). I"ll labor at home with my dh and children, we'll call the midwife when I hit transition, she'll come and sit in the living room while I give birth to my child, while dh catches and tells me the sex. Then the MW will come in and check everyone to make sure we're "ok", then clean up and leave us alone to bond
Just the same as our last child's birth except that we knew she was a girl before hand


Oh I lied, we are doing one thing differently, not renting a birthing tub. At dd's birth the poor man drove an hour, started setting it up, had about 6 inches fo water in it when dd was born in my bed :LOL DH paid him for the gas and his trouble, he tried to get it set up, but my total labor was only 2 hours :LOL
 

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I was just miserably sick with PUPPPs at the end of my last pregnancy, so this time I hope I get to the end in good physical and emotional shape. Assuming I do so, I am hoping I can do much more of the labor at home (I was "augmented" with pitocin after 10 hours last time).

My dream labor would begin in the afternoon, as I nap with my daughter, timing the contractions while she sleeps next to me. I'd call my dh to come home from work after she wakes up, and invite my wonderful neighbor and her son and the infant daughter she'll have by then to come over and keep us company. Maybe we could even take a little walk to the nearby playlot, since it will be late July or early August. When my DH comes home, we could call my brother to come and spend the night to help watch DD, and then do as much laboring as possible outside. Ideally, sometime after the dinner hour, I'd hope it would be time to head to the hospital and meet our midwife (and I hope the one on call will be my favorite!), maybe get in the labor tub or shower there for transition, and deliver our baby late in the evening or early in the morning.

If only I could script it that way, huh?! :LOL

Mostly, though, I am hoping I can keep in mind the beauty of the experience instead of, like last time, seeing delivery as more of a relief than anything else. I'd like this one to feel like an incredible and awesome part of nature, and bring this child into the world in a gentle, loving, intimate way.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvMy2Kidz
I"ll labor at home with my dh and children, we'll call the midwife when I hit transition, she'll come and sit in the living room while I give birth to my child, while dh catches and tells me the sex. Then the MW will come in and check everyone to make sure we're "ok", then clean up and leave us alone to bond
Just the same as our last child's birth except that we knew she was a girl before hand
:LOL
I love it
That sounds about right for me, too.

The last one, my MW got there just in time to move the baby through the water so she would come up in front of me (I was on knees leaning on edge of tube). Everything was so quick, quiet, and relaxed so I expect that part to stay the same.

This time I am not sure if I will have a tub or not. If I do I will just labor in it. That way I can feel all the wonderful sensations and catch my baby and be the first and only hands on her until she has nursed. Still not sure if I will have a midwife there either. Maybe just to come by the next day to do newborn check. Definitely no spectators (maybe Dh and Dd, still not sure about those either). I've been reading alot lately on unassisted births around the world (before our culture of fear was perpetuated) and the history of documentation is extensive on how births that are not interfered with are basically quick, painless, and complication-free, in a nutshell (read "Unassisted Childbirth" by Laura Kaplan Shanley for a really inspiring, eyeopening, and empowering history of birth).

This one will be a summer birth instead of winter so I also hope to spend a lot of the day (if it happens in the day) outside. No neighbors in sight here so no need to be modest :LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by moonlightinvt
I've been reading alot lately on unassisted births around the world (before our culture of fear was perpetuated) and the history of documentation is extensive on how births that are not interfered with are basically quick, painless, and complication-free, in a nutshell (read "Unassisted Childbirth" by Laura Kaplan Shanley for a really inspiring, eyeopening, and empowering history of birth).

This one will be a summer birth instead of winter so I also hope to spend a lot of the day (if it happens in the day) outside. No neighbors in sight here so no need to be modest :LOL

Do you have any online web sites to pass on about the subject? I am so wanting a home birth and DH is adimantly against it but I can at least hopefully do a no drug birth at the hospital. See at home the drugs aren't there and so ready I think I could focus more and it would hurt less.

Oh and last summer I was unemployed and stayed home with DD and played and nursed in the yard with lots of neighbors
hehe they probably think I am weird. Oh no wait the gal who owned the house before showered with the window open for everyone to see so they might be used to it.
 

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sounds like that is definitely what is best for you. i imagine i would be nervous with that many people in and out as well.

this time, i pretty much plan on doing EVERYTHING differently from last time.
that way i have a much better chance of it going exactly the OPPOSITE from last time!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by soccerchic21
Do you have any online web sites to pass on about the subject? I am so wanting a home birth and DH is adimantly against it but I can at least hopefully do a no drug birth at the hospital. See at home the drugs aren't there and so ready I think I could focus more and it would hurt less.
Well, I responded to you the other day and after battling with dd trying to get some info to you, my computer locked up and I lost it all. So here I go again, but a shortened version becauses computer is very slow still today and it may happen again.

Do a google search for Laura Kaplan Shanley (the author). You'll get lots of great sites to check out including the one Selissa mentioned and some with her birth stories. If you haven't already been there, there are HB forums on this site as well.

For our last birth I was actually with an OB for the first 5 months. My instincts told me to call a midwife to see if she would go to the hospital with me. The whole process with the OB/office made me miserable (although, at the time, I wasn't quite sure why). My dh and I met with a MW (most do free initial consultations--good place to start. Meet with as many as you can to find the one you and dh are most comfortable with) and she explained our local hospital did not allow midwives and that she attends homebirths. It was all new to us, but after the meeting we felt so empowered and read as much as we could on the subject. After that it was easy to be convinced of the safety of a hb as well as the beauty of one. The meeting especially changed my Dh's attitude (which had been one of fear and protectiveness). The two philosophies are so different (medical vs midwifery) that once you start to recognize those you will see how each can have such a profound effect on a pregancy, the birth, and most importantly, you and your child. It is truely amazing.

Anyway, off my soapbox. Hope this helps. Good luck with your decision.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Ok so after starting this thread and reading all about your home births I was really really desiring one for myself. This of course sparked many a heated discussion with DH. UgH. He is VERY against home birth, thinks it is very unsafe and does not see where I am coming from as far as comfort.

SO....

We came to a compromise. He is reading the Bradley birth book front to back. We are taking a Bradley class, and I am going to labor as much as I possibly can at home. (I hope this isn't too unsafe but after all of the bradley classes I am secretly hoping that the baby will just come at home ...oops
)

Oh and we are having a doula! A friend of mine from church said she would do it. YAY!

If I do get drug to the hospital I will have a premade list of wishes for my birth that my husband, mother and doula will have a copy of and will be told to stick to when I am out in labor land. These will include.

-NO DRUGS! No epidural especially. No Pitocin (I shouldn't need it)

-I do not want to be stuck in a bed. I want to be able to walk around and if I need to squat to birth so be it. (I am pretty sure the beds have a squatting bar)

-With my DD I was induced which I partly contribute to a long hard labor. They gave me the gel in my cervix. If that HAS TO happen this time, and I won't be so eager either, I will demand that they do it then I get to go home and labor.

-That baby is coming to me ASAP after birth. DD had meconium and I understand that needs to come out but then they took their time and bathed her....no....that can happen later after this baby has nursed. Doula told me she is a breastfeeding advocate and she will start advocating if the nursing staff takes too long and I told her to advocate away.

-Lastly we are leaving as soon as we can. I will make that very well known. The hospital beds are so uncomfortable and not very easy to co-sleep in (although my child will not spend any time in that plastic box they call a bassinett). And if I get any snarkey nurses I will put them in their place and ask them to leave. hehe :LOL
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by soccerchic21
Ok so after starting this thread and reading all about your home births I was really really desiring one for myself. This of course sparked many a heated discussion with DH. UgH. He is VERY against home birth, thinks it is very unsafe and does not see where I am coming from as far as comfort. :LOL
What most men don't understand (and many women) is that you are not just coming up with hb as a means for comfort, but it is is deep, instinctual, female intelligence that is giving you the desire to hb. Our culture is so far removed from listening to our "gut", our intuition, our instincts...whatever you want to call it. Don't sell yourself and your child short. You have plenty of time to educate yourself and empower yourself to be able to communicate with confidence to others, like your dh, that YOUR birth is more valuable and safe when it follows your dream of a beautiful birth.

If you labor at home and then go the hospital, think about how the body's natural biological response of "Fight or Flight" will take over the situation. This is why so many labors completely stall when the mom gets to the hospital. Your body is protecting your child and birth because it has gone from a relaxed, friendly environment to one of fear--strangers, bright lights, people that exude fear, technology... The statistics tell such a truth when you look at the length of labors in hospitals vs at home, yet they don't tell the whole truth because many people start at home then totally slow down once put in a new setting (then the snowball effect starts--usually with induction to speed things up), not to mention that some hb's are not a whole lot different from those in a hospital because there is some sort of fear still involved (maybe mom's, or MIL, or DH...).

The more you read on the topic and embrace your instincts, the more you can express to others the reasons for your decision and convince them they will feel the same if they let their preconceived notions go out the window long enough to look closely at another view point.
 
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