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New to this board and have never visited the loss board before. I just read the sticky to help friends and family know what to say, and now I know that I/my friends have been inconsiderate.<br><br>
At a party my husband's friend's wife admitted to a group of us ladies that she had miscarried the month before and this is the reason she had weaned her DD 13 month old, because she really wanted to get pregnant again and her doctor told her she could not nurse while she was pregnant (stupid doctor). There were general murmerings of condolences, hugs, etc. I think all of us ladies really stuck our feet in our mouth, and said some awkward ultimately not correct things. She was really sad. I didn't know what to say so I just said, "Well so many women don't even nurse until 12 months, you have done wonderfully for your DD." (which she really had, its wasn't easy for her to BF) Now I am looking at that moment with different eyes, and wondering how to reach out to her. She has withdrawn from the group recently. This happened months ago, she would be aprox 6 month preg now if her baby had survived.<br><br>
How should I acknowlege her loss after so long?
 

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Just call her! It means so much when people reach out to you after a loss. Just admit to her that you don't know the right thing to say, and tell her you are sorry if you say something stupid. Ask her if she wants to talk about it. Invite her out to lunch, or offer to bring her a dinner....or just take her some goodies. So many people just clam up and don't say anything because they don't know what to say....that hurts even worse.<br><br>
One of the hardest parts of a mc is being so sad and no one knows why. Its your own secret little tradgey. It helps to tell other people what's going on....hopefully those other people will lend a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk to.<br><br>
It won't matter what you say....it will matter more that you reached out to her.
 

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Maybe you could just be honest and say that when you first heard about her mc it took you off guard and you didn't fully consider how sad and disappointed she must feel, especially with losing the bf'ing connection with her little one at the same time. But that now you've thought about it and you just want to offer any support she still needs and just love in general. I can't imagine it is ever too late to hear kind words about a loss.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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i agree, it's never too late to express your feelings, and sympathy about her loss. i wish there were more thoughtful, mindful people like you!! sometimes, just a 5 minute conversation acknowledging the loss and the experience surrounding that loss can be so healing for that momma...
 

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I agree with the pp's, it is never too late. When I was going through a m/c last summer, a dear friend who was pregnant at the time told her dh, who told my dh, that she 'didn't know what to say' and felt awkward. After a couple of days she showed up with goodies and to say that she was sorry. it meant so, so much to me because I know how hard it was for her.<br><br>
You are a very good friend to consider this after the fact. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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