I tore inside when my dd shoulder dropped. I felt the pop of the vaginal wall. The birth was not "managed" no one was there tugging, pulling, moving the baby around nothing, dd was on her own coming out. One mw was hold compresses and I firmly believe had she not been doing that I would have torn externally.
I did not want stitches, so my mw was trying to determine if the tear was 2nd or 3rd degree (3rd meaning the muscle wall). The final determining factor was my peeing and stopping my flow mid-pee. She marked my tear 2nd degree, but it was a deep 2nd degree.
I was told to ly on my sides only with legs together for 2 weeks. This wasn't modified bed rest, I literally was in bed for 2 wks except to pee and shower (and 1 trip to the chiropractor to push my lower back back in and get me out of pain). I ended up in bed for 3 wks, the last week was modified meaning I could sit up to comfort and then back to bed. I was really swollen so I didn't mind not sitting for 2 wks.
Don't kid yourself in thinking that a tear is a minor thing or only happens when their is intervention. I love my mw and they were by no means responsible for my tear.
I'd have a back up plan, do you know a mw who might come over to check you out and stitch you up if necessary. My mw does gyn exams for like $80, she comes to you. I wouldn't want a hospital to be my back up plan here in VA, they would admit me and the baby run all the newborn test, scrutinize me up and down. Not what I would want.