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Hi ladies-just wondering if there is something out there that drives you insane about being a parent- whether thats what other people do or something your child does etc.

I am a new mom of a 4 month old so I haven't hit the toddler year or anything beyond my current babies age with my own child. However I truly detest advice and or feedback that isn't warranted. I have heard things like 'oh just let him cry it's good for his lungs", 'some moms just bite their babies fingernails off', 'formula? what you give formula and breastfeed?"- these are just some of them. I also don't like people taking my child from me to hold and then not listening to me when I say what it is I think he needs when he starts to fuss etc.
Now I don't care if you personally do or don't do any of the above. However saying these things under one's breath is just nutty. No I don't let him cry and I don't want to bite his fingernails off as isn't my thing. Yes I combo feed as I had a terrible time getting going with feeding and when he's screaming and I am crying in pain from trying to breastfed-I choose formula and not starvation.
It's my choice and I don't recall giving them any advice when raising their children. I know people mean well but when did my business become everyone else's??
 

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oooh mama first of all I give you a big hug!
I remember those days and if it can be any help people will never stop to give you advices. I personally think that everyone has right to an opinion but yes it is difficult to say:thanks for your advice but I do differently and I'm fine with it. I remember my family and my in laws being very very into our way of parenting. I had a hard time and ended up in therapy because I felt totally useless. the anger I felt was new and surprised me at first. But then I wasnt able to manage it and more important to understand where it was coming from.
I learned with the time that other people's advice was bodering me so much because I was insecure. .i always had been insecure so with a newborn..well you can imagine.

It also helped me having a group of mama with small babies..and talk talk talk to like minded people. Find your community, mamas like you and maybe unwanted advices will matter less.

I also dont feel bad anymore for giving random sharp answers :)

Do what makes you feel good and love yourself you are a great mama trying to do the best for her baby.

My hearth goes to you.
Take care :)
 

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It's the best thing in the world but I think what definitely gets me is the sleeplessness of it all. That's the biggest challenge for me. Everything suddenly becomes a huge deal when you haven't slept properly for weeks.
 

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One thing that I realized is that people love to tell you what they did when they had their baby or what they think you should do whether they had a baby or not. If you just let them tell you what they did and nod and hmmm they will most likely be satisfied. People are self-centered and if you pretend to care about their advice they will be satisfied and move on and you can do what you like. Sometimes you do also get good advice on what to try. View it as them being self-centered rather than pushing you to do what they did.

I totally understand the not biting the fingernails, I have almost a phobia towards nails and in particular other people's nails even if it is a tiny baby's. Nails... uhhh
 
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