[weebitty2]

My DH is an awesome guy, but this is driving me abso-flippin-lutely BATTY and I'm at a loss as to how to deal with my feelings on it.

:

Plainly put, he can't stay awake for more than 10 minutes at a time lately. I KNOW he works 3rd shift. I KNOW he's tired. But SO AM I! DD was born 6 weeks premature back in August 03, and since day 1 has been a VERY high needs baby. I work from home, and because of the nature of what I do, it has to be during the day. All I ask of him is this - STAY AWAKE UNTIL SHE GOES DOWN FOR HER NAP! A whole TWO HOURS after he gets home! Yet AGAIN this morning, he's snoring away on the couch while she's sitting in front of the dog's bowl chowing down on Pedigree. Before DD came, he'd stay up til 2 or 3 in the afternoon no problem, what's so different now? I'm lucky if I can get him to do a darned thing here at the house.

Dishes all over the place, work clothes thrown on the living room floor - he's done dishes and vacuumed maybe TWICE since DD was born. He brings in over 2/3 of our income, but I WORK TOO - and I'm just exhausted. I can't keep doing this, I really feel like I have 6 kids, instead of 5 and a DH, and he's by far the worst of them lately. I get so angry every time I look at him, the feeling is such hell

Maybe I'm just a jerk or something

 

[ajsmom]

Your feelings are SO normal! And, you may be earning 1/3rd of the income but that includes your 24/7 job as caregiver too.

I am not in your shoes but I was wondering if you could give dh a short list of things that dd "needs" to do like - go to the park, swimming at the pool, take a walk, go to the store - with a list, anything that keeps him moving so he can't fall asleep. This will help them bond as dd grows older and he will have more experience being the only one in charge of her safety so his vigilance skills may improve. I find that if I am at home, even if I have asked for specific help watching ds that it never works unless I leave or they do.

I am home with ds all day but dh knows I am busy with ds and don't get it all done. If I ask him to do one or two things specifically, it usually happens. Sorting laundry is a good one here because ds loves to play in dirty clothes. This should get you through those 2 hours.

I am an impatient person so I have to remind myself that dh is gone from 6 am to 5 pm everyday and must sleep sometime. I also let dh know if he has done something that might have harmed ds like leaving out dangerous tools, saws, knives, etc. and ask him if there is something I can do to help him remember to put these away. This bothers him a bit but he gets the message.

I also tell dh to go to sleep instead of staying up so he is well rested. I always choose sleep first myself.