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For those of you who have a midwife...<br><br>
-What is the reason why you chose her?<br><br>
-Do you feel like she spends enough time addressing your questions/concerns? Does she ask you questions?<br><br>
-Is there anything you wish would be different?<br><br>
-How long is your average appointment?<br><br>
I am asking because I was pretty disappointed at my last appt with my midwife. I waited an hour after my appt time to finally be seen and when I did see her it was only for 10 minutes. She didn't ask me ANY questions...I had to ask her if she thought I was doing ok...if I could do this or that, etc...I know she was running that that day, but it was similar on my previous appt.<br><br>
I just think that because this is my first she should be taking more time with me than 10 minutes? Maybe I'm wrong, but I wanted to receive encouragement and leave there feeling happy and excited, not frustrated!<br><br>
I will be moving to another state soon and will be changing midwives. I would love your input on what I should look for in a new midwife!!<br><br>
Thanks!<br>
sara<br>
edd 3/29/04
 

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We no longer use MW"s (we birth ourselves) but used one w/lour first baby. IMO, your experience sounds as bad as a traditional OB!! You ahve the right to feel slighted!<br><br>
I think in general, you do get more attention from a Homebirth MW. I think that a lot of MW's working w/in the system end up under the same time constraints, etc as OB's anymore. Of course there are exceptions! I would maybe look for an independant birth center. They might be more catering to your needs.<br><br>
How we chose ours: we had an immediate "click" w/them. We liked them, felt comfortable w/them and enjoyed them. They made us feel like friends from the get-go.<br><br>
Our average appt. was around 30-60 minutes. We never felt rushed. And this was a big business, though a LM homebirth, home-based business. Still very homey.<br><br>
good luck finding your new MW! You deserve to find the MW of your dreams! Or at least one better than your current one!
 

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With my 2nd pg, I saw my hb mws (two worked together) and a cnm a few times.<br><br>
A hb mw is the best there is, an hr. is alloted for each appt; sometimes they ran over or were less than an hour.<br><br>
I chose my mw after interviewing 3 wonderful hb mws because her philosophy of birth was similar to ours (liked the idea of having an oxygen tank for baby/mom if necessary, our mw was willing to work to get our hb paid by insurance [it is <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">] and heck--even her taste in decorating was similar to ours.) LIke igolilybear said, we clicked.<br><br>
I wish my mws weren't located 45 minutes from my home. That's the only drawback.<br><br>
My hb mws would ask the usual things, like how am I sleeping, feeling the baby move, have a decent appetite...and they'd ask about my dreams, how I was pooping and peeing (ha!) any worries, how I felt about my previous birth, how I wanted to deal w/ GBS testing for me during pg, and newborn procedures (for example, did I want my baby to have eye antibiotics, vitamin K, and the PKU test.)<br><br>
As for the cnm I also saw, she spent more than 10 minutes at my appts. I know she doesn't have an hour to loll around and shoot the breeze with me.<br><br>
When I wanted a mirror to watch the speculum exam so I could see my cervix too, she was happy to oblige and ran all around the clinic trying to find a mirror, found one, and was patient and cool and told me stuff about what I was seeing, etc.<br><br>
HTH<br><br>
Good luck.
 

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I interviewed 15 different midwives before I selected ours. Half just over the phone and the other half in person.<br><br>
I was looking for somebody who wasn't fear based. For example, would they like me to induce at 42 weeks? Many of them did and I don't belive in that and I see how many women start stressing out over their due dates. So that was an important one to me. I informed myself on different situations and asked them how they would handle/respond to the situation. Many of them are fearful due to the laws and our sue crazy society and I really wanted somebody who was really grounded in faith and love.<br><br>
Well, I found her! She is about an hour away from me which sucks, but it's worth the effort. She has been a midwife for 11 years and grew up in Argentina, so she thinks outside of the Western 'box' around micromanaging birth. She is also studying to be a Zen Budhist priest which I think is cool. She is very spiritual and very nurturing.<br><br>
Every Friday she has a meeting with all of her clients. So we have a group meeting with women in all different stages and we get to know each other and we talk about whatever comes to mind. It builds a nice little community. She also meets one on one for about an hour or two once a month as well.<br><br>
I wasn't going to settle at all when it came to who I have attend our birth. I decided what I wanted and waited and looked until I got it.<br><br>
It's amazing to me how many people chose their care provider without meeting anybody else and asking them tough questions.<br><br>
Good luck in your search. It sounds like you got paired up with a not so good midwife, so hopefully you can find somebody else really special for you.<br><br>
Caring Touch <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Caring Touch, I'm so glad you found such a great midwife! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Yay!<br><br>
How do her Friday meetings work? Are they group prenatals?
 

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Hi Pamamidwife....<br><br>
I am so excited that I finally found the right one! Thanks for your input earlier.<br><br>
She does have group prenatals at the end of the group discussion. She lays out really nice pillows on the floor and each woman takes turnes getting her belly palpated and while she is there she will take blood if needed and what not. So people are around, but it's really casual and they are usually lost in conversation with somebody, so it's group, but not everybody is fixated on you at the very end. They are just waiting for their turn to get checked.<br><br>
I like it because she is in San Francisco and works out of a very artsy loft with a fireplace and nice surroundings, so it feels like a very nice atmosphere. The meetings all together usually run about 3 hours, but it's nice for her because she can see all her clients every week in one swoop.<br><br>
The only thing that I don't always like during the group prenatals is that sometimes I am tired and one of the other clients might be going through a lot and it takes up a lot of the group time. I don't have any judgement toward anybody, it's just hard when you are tired at the end of a long week and somebody is always trying to work out some issue that doesn't pertain to me. But that's what happens in groups. It's just not where I want to put my energy sometimes. Otherwise it's good.<br><br>
Caring Touch <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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-What is the reason why you chose her?<br>
* I interviewed 9 midwives over the phone, narrowed it down to four and met them each in person. The midwife I chose was the last I interviewed and there was no contest. She shares my philosophy on pregnancy, labor, birth and child rearing. She is the same age as my mother and very active - ran the NY marathon last year. She is very maternal and I really dig that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
-Do you feel like she spends enough time addressing your questions/concerns? Does she ask you questions?<br>
Definitely. One of the things I like best about her is that when I have an issue or a question for her she turns it back on me. This has taught me to trust in my own intuition and that I am responsibe for my body and pregnancy.<br><br>
-Is there anything you wish would be different?<br>
The only thing I can possibly think of is that I wish she was a bit younger. She is a little forgetful and when she has a few rough days with laboring mom or moms she is more affected becasue ofher age.<br><br>
-How long is your average appointment?<br>
One hour. If I need more time she tries to allow for that. The least amount of time I have spent with her at an appointment is 45 minutes. She always asks how I am and really wants to hear my response - she's not looking for "I'm fine" she wants to know how the kids are, my business, my husband, my stress level and how I feel emotionally and physically. She has listened to stories about my family and friends and concerns herself with how it all affects me.<br><br>
Some other really important points are that I have a HUGE amount of trust in her. I believe in her as a midwife and a woman. I don't look to people blindly but I know that if there was something about my labor I needed to know she would tell me. She knows me very well and is extremely respectful of my wishes.<br>
She also adores my husband and he really enjoys her as well. We will go in and the two of them will have great conversations.<br><br>
I feel very blessed to have my midwife.<br>
Keri
 

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I wasn't choosey with the midwife I had with dd and I always had a little feeling something wasn't clicking. I was right and I didn't leave my birth with as good of a feeling as I would have liked.<br><br>
Now I would say at any point in your pregnancy if you are not becoming friends and completely comfortable with your midwife find a new one, you only have one birth experience you can't go back and change anything.<br><br>
Having someone refer a good midwife is great because it gives you something to work from. Maybe you can ask on the mothering board from the state you are moving to if they have any suggestions.<br><br>
Our midwife this time is great. our appetents are 45 minutes min and she fully includes everyone in our family. DD pushes the buttons and gets her tummy checked it is great.<br><br>
I think the most important quality is to trust in your midwifes intuition to make decisions and just the pure friendship you have. Could you have this woman over for dinner and enjoy yourself?
 

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My Midwives spend about an hour with me every time, in my home. We talk about all kinds of things, like how my appetite is and how I've been sleeping, dreams I've had, how I feel in general. It's been an awesome experience! I know several moms that have delivered with them and that is how I came to call them and have them over for an interview when I found out I was pregnant.<br><br>
At the beginning of this pregnancy, I was seeing a midwife at the HMO I belong to, and I can tell you that she was much more like a Dr. as far as appointment length and the way she treated me and answered questions.
 

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When I was first preg w/dd, I wasn't choosey, and went with a CNM that was geographically close. I liked her OK. When I was about 4-5 months preg, dh and I toured the hospital, and said NO WAY, we're outta here.<br>
then I got into it a little more, and was referred to a CNM practice by a friend. I am SO glad we switched. There were 3 CNM's and we'd see whoever was in that day. They spent as long as we wanted (I think they booked an hour) and always asked as many, if not more, questions than I asked (similar type of questions as in the previous posts). We ended up having the same CNM catch dd and ds (she became as attached to us as we were to her, and said she would have been there even if she weren't on call). We had a really good hospital experience both times (except for those pesky pediatricians!!).<br><br>
This time we decided to have a HB, and I interviewed quite a few on the phone (found through birthnetwork in my area). There are only so many HB mw's in my area, and none are closer than 45 minutes. I had it pretty much narrowed down, and the decision was confirmed after talking to 3 or 4 other women who had this mw for their HB, and also by our first visit with her. We also clicked.<br><br>
I've had 2 appts so far, and they have each been a good hour in length. We chat, she does the exam, she asks a ton of questions, recommends books, etc.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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With my dd, we went to the mw group at the (excellent-reputation) hospital in our neighborhood. The delivery was ok - it was with my least favorite of the three mw, and the hospital environment was sucky - it's clinically great, but personell-wise -oy, vey. Mediocre nursing care, we had to set up the labor tub ourselves (not me, but mw and dh), and it's just generally a very clinical place.<br><br>
This time - I started out with one of the mw's at the other really excellent-reputation hospital here, because our old mw group has been shut down by the first hosptital. I don't know that I would have gone back anyway, frankly.<br><br>
I chose her because she takes my insurance. She turned out to be sooooo good. We really, really like her. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have gone back. To my surprise, she is in a practice with two OB's, but she attends 90% of her patients' deliveries. The ob's seem nice - one recently was ordained, and attended a school affiliated with the place dh works, so we have a lot in common. The other was very, very kind to me when I thought I was miscarrying and called him at 2 am. (Just big cramps. We're fine.)<br><br>
The hospital we'll deliver at is much more patient-comfort oriented than the first one we used. Built-in tubs, free and frequent and good food, (last time dh had to buy meals during our couple of days in the hospital), a 40-CD CD player in the delivery rooms... silly, but I think it will be much better than the bare-bones clinical environment we had last time.<br><br>
So. The mw spends 20-30 minutes with us at each appointment, and she clearly regards us as intelligent and trustworthy people. I like that. She answers all our questions. We "click" really well.<br><br>
I think that the social/psychological comfort level you have with someone can actually speak very well to how good a birth attendant they will be for you, given that all the medical/philosophical stuff is in line.
 
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