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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I work about 10-15 hours per week, but need to be working more like 20 - 25 both for the project I am on and for our finances. I am wondering what your schedule is like if you work from home. Right now, I work during nap time and night time but am struggling because I feel like I never get a moment of rest and yet cannot even come up with 20 hours. I am considering having some help during the day but haven't brought myself to actually do it. I've been considering for about 9 months now...<br><br>
BTW, how do I search the forums? I cannot find a search button. Thanks!
 

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The search function is down at the moment.<br><br>
As for working at home, well I work from home and use daycare 3 days a week, it would be virtually impossible for me to get any work done without using childcare. Already the 2 days dd is not at home its hard to return client emails in a timely fashion.<br><br>
I have other friends who work from home but generally they stay up late to get their work done, unless you have a child who is good at playing alone I find it hard to get anything done. My dd id turning 3 this month and while she will play alone for a few mins its normally not longer than 10 mins tops.<br><br>
How old is your child? If old enough maybe you can do a childcare swap with another Mama if you don't want to commit to regular childcare, I have never done that but know others who have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>shayinme</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11597752"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">.<br>
How old is your child? If old enough maybe you can do a childcare swap with another Mama if you don't want to commit to regular childcare, I have never done that but know others who have.</div>
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She is 16 months. I do the stay up late thing most nights too and that has its drawbacks, but works some weeks. I guess like most people I feel like I need an extra few hours in the day. I would like to do the childcare swap. We are new to our neighborhood, so hopefully we will meet others in a similar situation.
 

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I don't think I have any answers for you, but will share my situation.<br><br>
I work from home 10-16 hours/week. DS is 11 months, and for the most part I cannot work when he is awake and home with me. The exception is that I can sometimes sit in on a conference call or something else over the phone while keeping him somewhat distracted by pacing around outside with him on my back, but I think those days are about to be over, too. If need be I can send a quick email or answer a call while he plays, but he pretty much needs my attention when he is awake.<br><br>
Most days I work a little in the morning before DH goes to work--he doesn't leave until 9:45, so that gives us a window. I have thought about getting up early to get started sooner, but I can never make myself get up to work before DS wakes up--and when I try, he usually wakes up earlier too. We all get up together around 7 or 7:30, have breakfast and get ready for the day before I get started, so that time goes pretty quickly. I also try to work during DS's naptime, but the amount of time I get in then varies pretty widely. It seems to work best if I get him to sleep on my bed and set myself up to work right next to him, so I can keep nursing him back to sleep until he's really ready to wake up. He generally is asleep for the night around 8, so I do a couple of hours in the evening, or more if need be. When I'm behind or things get hectic, DH will take DS for chunks of time on the weekends so I can work some more. I also have meetings to go to every couple of weeks, and DH will flex his schedule--go in late and stay late.<br><br>
I share that feeling of never having a minute of downtime to myself...I'm so grateful to be home with my little guy, but in some ways it would be easier to go in to an office two days a week. Next year I'm going to swap some childcare with a friend for just a few hours a week, so hopefully that will help me to feel like my work is more consolidated and less all-the-time.<br><br>
20-25 hours a week is really a lot--it does sound to me like you'll need some help. I don't know how this would work for your child, but one thing I've considered is a mother's helper type person who would come play with DS while I work. Not sure how that would work, though.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I don't know that I have any real advice for you other than to get some help, but this is my situation... I think it's really difficult if not impossible to successfully work from home with a toddler. I personally work from home 3 days a week and send DD (22 months) to daycare on only one of those days currently, due to daycare's closing Mondays and Fridays in the summer. I'm salaried, not hourly, so I focus on getting my work done and not how many hours I am putting in. I end up putting in more hours than I am technically supposed to, anyway! But I am very grateful for my job and the flexibility it affords.<br><br>
Almost every day, I get up at 5 am and work until DD wakes up at 7 or so, including weekends and the two days that I go into the office, just to try to get caught up or maybe even get ahead if I am lucky. On days when I am home and working with DD, I work during naps (two hours typically in the late afternoon) and whenever I can grab a spare hour or two in the evenings or on weekend days when DH is around to amuse DD. DD will amuse herself with her dolls or toys for brief spurts or (and maybe I shouldn't admit this!) will watch a half hour tv show a couple of times a day, allowing me to get some work done. I have found that I can't do conference calls anymore with DD, so I always arrange a sitter when I have meetings. In the fall DD will be going to full-time daycare, because as much as I love the idea of being home with her, it's just not possible for me to get my work done and keep DD entertained.<br><br>
And I definitely share your frustration with having no downtime...in a way I'd almost prefer to go into the office five days a week, because when I am at home and working I see all the housework that needs to get done and it drives me nuts that I can't ever seem to get it all done.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for all of the input. It's helpful to hear what others are doing (I guess that's the main reason we all post and share on this forum!). I talked to DH about going in a little later 2 days a week and I will try to work 7-9ish. I usually wake with dd. I'm not sure how she will do with me getting out of bed before her because she is a big morning nurser. I figure she will nurse and then probably just wake up if I'm not there...no big deal though. DH can take care of her.<br><br>
My neighbor has offered her 8th grade daughter to help while I am home (and her daughter is interested too). I think that may help with me getting some housework done, but I can't imagine dd will stay occupied for long enough for me to work. That would be fine though because I would prefer to be in the vicinity of them since the girl is kind of young. Anyway, it's a start!
 

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I'm wondering this too. I have a 3 year old dd, a 4 month old dd, and I nanny for another 3 year old. I *ideally* should wah about 10 hours a week, and I find that nearly impossible! It doesn't help that no one is on any kind of schedule together, so working during naps wont work. And neither of the kids will sleep at night without me laying there, so they end up awake until I go to bed, about 10. We already get up at 7, and with the baby waking up so much at night, waking up any earlier is out of the question.<br>
I wish I knew someone around here that could be a mothers helper. We used to have a little girl (about 12) that lived across the street. She would have been PERFECT, as she homeschooled and could come over at any time. But they moved. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Just please take care of yourselves. I worked from home with all 3 children, then a full time job with just 1, and I still feel like I am suffering from the effects of that. It was really bad on my health, my sanity, and I'm just not that pleasant when I'm always exhausted, so I feel it was bad for my family, as well.<br><br>
My kids see me less now, sure. But at least when they see me I'm calm, I can focus on them 100% w/o worrying about work, and life feels more balanced.<br><br>
I know it's not the same for everyone... I just think moms often try to do too much and overextend themselves and that's not good, either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brenda003</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11606506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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I know it's not the same for everyone... I just think moms often try to do too much and overextend themselves and that's not good, either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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So true. Figuring out the balance is not easy. For me, I do not check work email or do any work while my dd is awake so I am (mostly) not even thinking about it. I also try to take downtime, usually 1 - 3+ weeks between projects to restore sanity a bit. And no work on Friday nights.<br><br>
What else does everyone do to balance work, family, and self?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brenda003</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11606506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Just please take care of yourselves. I worked from home with all 3 children, then a full time job with just 1, and I still feel like I am suffering from the effects of that. It was really bad on my health, my sanity, and I'm just not that pleasant when I'm always exhausted, so I feel it was bad for my family, as well.<br><br>
My kids see me less now, sure. But at least when they see me I'm calm, I can focus on them 100% w/o worrying about work, and life feels more balanced.<br><br>
I know it's not the same for everyone... I just think moms often try to do too much and overextend themselves and that's not good, either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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I agree with this, though with both dh & I being self employed sometimes its hard to take care of myself though I do a better job than dh since I do sleep at night. He often stays up late finishing client projects <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">, since the downside of self employment is no work + no money.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AJHCFamily</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11607605"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So true. Figuring out the balance is not easy. For me, I do not check work email or do any work while my dd is awake so I am (mostly) not even thinking about it. I also try to take downtime, usually 1 - 3+ weeks between projects to restore sanity a bit. And no work on Friday nights.<br><br>
What else does everyone do to balance work, family, and self?</div>
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Well like I said above I am self employed so its a little harder to set time aside since it directly impacts the bottom line. That said now that dd is older I do get out a few times a month with friends and on dd's daycare days dh and I try to grab lunch together for our time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
In some ways working out if the house is easier because ithe lines are so much clearer between work and personal life. On the other hand if dd is sick and its a daycare days, there is enough flexibility that I can take care of her instead of when I was working outside and would have to call out sick.<br><br>
Shay
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AJHCFamily</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11607605"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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What else does everyone do to balance work, family, and self?</div>
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dh and I have strict rules - no childcare = no work.<br><br>
For us, taking care of two active boys and paying attention to our work is too stressful on all of us, and we feel that it gives everyone - the kids, the work, and ourselves - short shrift.<br><br>
So we compartmentalize. We work full time from home - 8-6 most days (I have a short day - stop at 3pm - on Wednesdays and dh has a short day on Fridays).<br><br>
We also try to have regularly scheduled adult time, either with friends or alone, though recently we have had a hard time b/c of work.<br><br>
I signed up for a water aerobics class 2x a week at our local pool, and I have a standing playdate with a friend at a local farmers market on Wednesday afternoons. And another friend comes over every Monday night.<br><br>
Btw, other than cost and finding someone suitable, I really do not understand the reluctance to get some childcare assistance for a few hours a day (this is a general observation, not one targeted at anyone in particular).<br><br>
A new employee of mine found a fantastic 15 year old neighbor to watch her son - her babysitter hangs out with my au pair (who is 19) and our two boys (they are similar ages and get along well). And one day, our au pair's friend came over with the kids she cares for and they all went down to the pool together. There were three babysitters watching five kids, between the ages of 2 and 5. They told me the kids had a blast.<br><br>
I do think that kids can get a lot out of being cared for by loving and responsible caregivers - in addition to having mom more focused and less stressed.<br><br>
I find that I am at my worst when I feel frustrated - the "as soon as this kid goes to sleep, I can get that stuff done that my client is waiting for - so go to SLEEP, darn you!!!" feeing. When my capacity to work is not contingent on my children's behavior, I do not put as much pressure on my kids to behave in certain ways. This is one reason why I firmly believe that AP and childcare are absolutely compatible, if not beneficial - I can be more responsive to my child's needs if my own needs are being met and do not rely on my child.
 

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I have a 3 year old daughter, and work from home 30 hours a week. I have daycare 3 days a week. A good thing is that the company I work for is European, and there is a 6 hour time difference. So I usually wake up around 6, get online and work until 8 when DD wakes up. I pop out before 9 to bring her to daycare.<br><br>
When she is home, now at 3, it works pretty well. I have her easel and table next to my desk, so we both "work" or she will play on the floor near me. I try to schedule my weeks so that all my conference calls occur while she is at daycare.<br><br>
It would be pretty tough to do this with no childcare at all--do you have an idea that you never want to use childcare? Or is there an age where you might feel more comfortable with it? We have a great DCP, so from the very beginning this has been a good situation. It might be worth while to look at some different DCP's or pre-schools. In the fall, DD is going to pre-school, which is only 3 hours a day and pretty inexpensive, plus we are excited about the program. But it took us time to find the right preschool.<br><br>
I do take me time, as well. Not a ton of it, but at Christmas I went for a massage and an eyebrow wax! Today, I have conference calls and when they are over I am going to take my new bike for a ride before I pick up DD.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>siobhang</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11609220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br><br>
Btw, other than cost and finding someone suitable, I really do not understand the reluctance to get some childcare assistance for a few hours a day (this is a general observation, not one targeted at anyone in particular).<br><br><br>
I do think that kids can get a lot out of being cared for by loving and responsible caregivers - in addition to having mom more focused and less stressed.<br><br>
I find that I am at my worst when I feel frustrated - the "as soon as this kid goes to sleep, I can get that stuff done that my client is waiting for - so go to SLEEP, darn you!!!" feeing. When my capacity to work is not contingent on my children's behavior, I do not put as much pressure on my kids to behave in certain ways. This is one reason why I firmly believe that AP and childcare are absolutely compatible, if not beneficial - I can be more responsive to my child's needs if my own needs are being met and do not rely on my child.</div>
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I so agree with what you said. I hate the days when dd is home and a client needs something and I am hoping and praying that dd will go nap soon so I can work. (of course its like she can sense my impatience and nap gets really delayed and I am getting even more frustrated) Its really not a good feeling and those moments IMO are worse than having her at daycare and being able to give her 100% when she is home.<br><br>
Shay
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>siobhang</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11609220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Btw, other than cost and finding someone suitable, I really do not understand the reluctance to get some childcare assistance for a few hours a day (this is a general observation, not one targeted at anyone in particular).</div>
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For me, it's more that dd has so quickly become a toddler I feel like it was just yesterday she was a wee baby, exclusively breastfed, no bottles, not worth the effort and I didn't want a babysitter or day care. I also worked less on my last project during the fall/winter. Now that she is older and my work is getting busier, I am looking into help.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>siobhang</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11609220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I do think that kids can get a lot out of being cared for by loving and responsible caregivers - in addition to having mom more focused and less stressed.<br><br>
I find that I am at my worst when I feel frustrated - the "as soon as this kid goes to sleep, I can get that stuff done that my client is waiting for - so go to SLEEP, darn you!!!" feeing. When my capacity to work is not contingent on my children's behavior, I do not put as much pressure on my kids to behave in certain ways. This is one reason why I firmly believe that AP and childcare are absolutely compatible, if not beneficial - I can be more responsive to my child's needs if my own needs are being met and do not rely on my child.</div>
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I have had those moments, but luckily my work is not high-stress or pressured with lots of deadlines so the moments are rare. Dare I say it, but DD is also a pretty good napper. I agree with what you are saying about others being able to provide loving care, just haven't really had childcare yet and so this is a new thing that I am somewhat hesitant about. Giving it lots of thought (too much I am sure)...
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AJHCFamily</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11613385"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I agree with what you are saying about others being able to provide loving care, just haven't really had childcare yet and so this is a new thing that I am somewhat hesitant about. Giving it lots of thought (too much I am sure)...</div>
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Yep, for sure. It's especially hard as an AP mama. I so did *not* want to put my kids into any other childcare situation for so long. They should be home with ME!! But, I just didn't have the ability to do it all, and I really don't think anyone does, at least not for very long. For several months I was working until 5am in the morning (ie, all night) and then a complete zombie through the day trying to take care of an infant. I ONLY slept when she napped. But it was the only way I could get in my full time hours.<br><br>
I regret it, a lot. I was home with her, sure, but I can barely remember it I was so exhausted all the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Although, maybe not... I dunno. I think maybe it was worth it, too, especially for a baby. (Yes, I'm changing my mind.) But, I think once they're toddlers everyone is much happier w/ some childcare.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brenda003</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11614207"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yep, for sure. It's especially hard as an AP mama. I so did *not* want to put my kids into any other childcare situation for so long. They should be home with ME!! But, I just didn't have the ability to do it all, and I really don't think anyone does, at least not for very long. For several months I was working until 5am in the morning (ie, all night) and then a complete zombie through the day trying to take care of an infant. I ONLY slept when she napped. But it was the only way I could get in my full time hours.<br><br>
I regret it, a lot. I was home with her, sure, but I can barely remember it I was so exhausted all the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Although, maybe not... I dunno. I think maybe it was worth it, too, especially for a baby. (Yes, I'm changing my mind.) But, I think once they're toddlers everyone is much happier w/ some childcare.</div>
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Yes being AP can make you feel that way... I do value being home with my dd but if I am not fully present and frazzled all the time then it is not time well spent, she could be having more fun with someone else or somewhere else.<br><br>
Only recently have I accepted and felt that I was ready to allow someone else to be with my dd & that I needed to set some boundaries for us! I have not put this into action but I am working toward it:<br><br>
1) Computer Time Only When My 19 Month Old Is Asleep Or In The Care of Someone Else.<br><br>
This is really important because we can spend so much time "wasted" on the computer.... (like here on MDC when we should be "working"). Limiting my computer time makes me more focused when I am on the computer. Another variation of this but in my opinion does not work for WAHMs is to not have internet at home.... you would need to go to the library or internet cafe to get online.<br><br>
2) Set An Early Bedtime & Stick To It Consistently.<br><br>
My dd does not got to bed until I do but we are working on making it earlier then I will have some time to myself or to working at night.<br><br>
3) Get Up Early Or Stay Up Late<br><br>
You can get up early before your child wakes up and work for 2-3 hours or work late at night if your child has an early bedtime. With just getting up early or going to bed late you can carve 10-15 hours out easily. For me I had been staying up late but always ended up here on MDC and not working <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> so now I go to bed at the same time as my daughter but get up early before she wakes up..... this does not work for everyone though.<br><br>
4) Find A Great Childcare Option or Three<br><br>
I have a SAHM who we did mom & me swimming with all last summer. That grew to her occasionally watching dd and may be growing into her watching dd 3 days a week for 5 hours each day. This is great because she has a dd just a little older than mine so my dd will have someone her "size to play with, I get quality childcare, the SAHM gets some extra money, and between this 15 hours and the 10 I get from waking early, I may actually get some work done. I also think you need a back up option or two; I have a college age family friend who watches dd for "mom's night out" and when I have evening or weekend obligations..... and I find having her as a back up to the SAHM is nice! It would be even better if I had two back ups that dd knew and adored.
 

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Schedule? What's that?<br><br>
I sneak work in when life allows. Luckily I have the flexibility to do that right now, but it means I make very little $$$.<br><br>
I have one morning/ week to just focus on work and usually use the time my hubby spends putting the kids down each night for a combo or work/ relaxing.<br><br>
My biz will not take off until I get more morning time to focus, so I have enrolled both kids in a preschool for 3 mornings/ week in the fall. I look forward to not feeling so torn...
 
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