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I'm sorry for thieving this from mamakaikai on the July 2010 DDC (lots of good answers to <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=1228812" target="_blank">her thread</a> check it out) but its a great idea and I believe it can be just as helpful when being applied to the entire pregnancy through birth experience for first time moms here!<br><br>
Basically, list the things that surprised you about pregnancy that no one told you about... or birth/afterbirth if you have had babies already!<br><br>
Mine -<br>
*no one told me that feeling like AF is knocking at the door for the first 8 weeks after you find out you are pregnant is totally <i>normal</i>.<br><br>
*no one told me that morning sickness doesn't happen just in the morning. Or just in the first trimester.<br><br>
*no one told me that while breastfeeding I will get two very distinct feelings I have never gotten before. The first - having a waterfall come out of my nipple when I am engorged and baby is not hungry. The second - the feeling of let down is not always pleasant for every woman, for me it sort of stung. Wasnt really painful but 5 years later I still cringe every time a baby cries, waiting for letdown.<br><br>
*no one told me that when I have normal pregnancy aches and pains, being in water is like heaven.<br><br>
*no one told me that you get the restless nights BEFORE baby comes. I actually sleep better in their first month after birth than I do in the last four months of pregnancy.<br><br>
*no one told me that the number one most important thing in the delivery room for me would be to feel safe and supported, and yet that was the one thing that stuck most in my mind about the whole thing... that it didnt hurt because I felt safe and supported. I had a quiet first birth, short of my mother constantly telling me how proud she was of me and of course my grunting and various phrases that came out of my mouth (surprisingly not including swearwords, but rather things like Is he almost out!?) and the second birth was loud, with FIVE nurses in the room amazed that I had no pain meds and cheering me on. First was dark, second was bright... in both cases I didnt need pain meds to get through, because i felt like I could really do it, I could really make it without them.<br><br>
*no one told me that the afterpains with the first are nothing compared to the afterpains with the second. Having been reminded of that by the original no one told me thread, I fear how it will be after the third!
 

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I contributed to the July DDC thread, but I did think of a few more things . . .<br><br>
After my dd was born, I had the worst hot and cold flashes, for a couple weeks at least. I don't know what was going on with my hormones, but it was crazy!<br><br>
Even though you breastfeed around the clock and cosleep, you could be one of the luck \y few women who get their fertility back 6 weeks after giving birth. Even when I was tandem nursing after my first ds was born, I got my period within 2 months. Bummer!<br><br>
I think someone on the previous thread mentioned the "brick dust" that can accumulate in newborn urine. Well, in the middle of the night it looked to me like a little blood in the diaper. Scared the living daylights out of me!<br><br>
When I started breastfeeding, it was challenging. Even though I had taken a class before dd was born. I would recommend that everyone have the name of a lactation consultant on hand before the baby comes.<br><br>
Along the same lines, no one could have possibly prepared me for the sense of love and pride I gained from sticking with nursing despite a rocky start. Thankfully my mom was there to be my cheerleader, or I don't think I could have done it. Now I can honestly say that one of the greatest joys of my life has been nursing my babies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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no one told me that after you give birth and your hormones try to regulate to a new standard, you will likely start to lose a lot of hair... and that if you have very curly hair that easily tangles, if you don't keep up with the detangling, your hair may not into a mess that leaves you no option but to cut it off pixie short <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">.<br><br>
i'm brushing my hair every single day after this next one no matter how much time it takes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>c'est moi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15458805"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">and that if you have very curly hair that easily tangles, if you don't keep up with the detangling, your hair may not into a mess that leaves you no option but to cut it off pixie short <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><br><br>
Oh, no. No. Just <i>no</i>.<br><br>
Thank you, c'est moi. I knew that women often suffer from hair loss postpartum - but I did <b>NOT</b> know that. My thick, curly hair thanks you and my DF thanks you even more.
 

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maybe it won't be as bad if you're white, but i know plenty of white people with a hair texture like mine that i could see this happening to. with that said, my hair looks something like hers on a really good day.<br><br><a href="http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D20040630/20827_MRARARTPP2FRKTDA2HDVNN25WS5MNI_tomiko_fraser_H130925_L.jpg" target="_blank">http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D..._H130925_L.jpg</a>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>c'est moi</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15459021"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">maybe it won't be as bad if you're white, but i know plenty of white people with a hair texture like mine that i could see this happening to. with that said, my hair looks something like hers on a really good day.<br><br><a href="http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D20040630/20827_MRARARTPP2FRKTDA2HDVNN25WS5MNI_tomiko_fraser_H130925_L.jpg" target="_blank">http://imalbum.aufeminin.com/album/D..._H130925_L.jpg</a></div>
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Well, I am the whitest-white girl, like, <i>ever</i>, so maybe, but I have hair that is from another planet.<br><br>
My hair texture most resembles Keri Russell's <i>before</i> she started straightening it, sort of like seen <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1566218752/nm0005392" target="_blank">here</a>, but more . . . ringlet-y, if that can be called a word. <b>Tight</b> ringlets.<br><br>
It tangles like a mother, and weighs about a million pounds. I often dream of shaving it all off, but I just don't have the guts, so I just keep buying humongous over-priced bottles of conditioner and hoping for the best.
 

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Yup-letdown is far, far from pleasant for me. It feels like beestings.<br>
Afterpains become horrendous. I may birth without drugs but then end up on percocet for the afterpains. For some reason giving birth to a blood clot just doesn't have the same motivation as giving birth to a child <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> I didn't have ANY afterpains with #6 which completely freaked my midwife out-she sent me home with methergine 'just in case'.
 

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Also... 1 in 5 (i think is the stat, or 1 in 8, but still higher than 10% whatever it is) of women develop postpartum thyroiditis<br><br>
No one ever told me this, so I overlooked the symptoms for 8 MONTHS. When I finally went in I had gained 50 pounds... in 8 months! 7 years later I am still fighting to lose that weight in addition to the weight I gained after DD from the hypothyroid while we were trying to get it under control.<br><br>
My symptoms, in particular, were depression, severe fatigue, weight gain, constantly cold, excessive hair loss (more than is normal postpartum and lasted longer than normal), irritability and forgetfulness (more than normal)
 

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After my first was born, almost 10 years ago, I had no idea that after she was born I would still have to wear maternity clothes. No one told me that my belly would still look round and large days after. It seems so silly that I did not realize this, but I actually packed prepregnancy clothes in my hospital bag to wear home after she was born. duh.
 

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Well, I discovered two horrifying things after birth that I had * no idea * about. Anal fissures, and pelvic organ prolapse. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">
 

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No one ever told me that "morning" sickness could be so bad that I'd pray to miscarry the baby I wanted for so long. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It really can be that bad and I wish we'd talk about it more openly (in general, thank goodness for MDC).
 

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I feel like everybody told me all the bad things that could ever possibly happen during pregnancy and birth, and most of them didn't. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Like, I was so freaking scared of that first post partum poop, and it was fine. Actually, that's not 100% true- I wasn't prepared for how sooooorrre I was that first night and couple days after, but that really depends on your birth.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JessieBird</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15459479"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No one ever told me that "morning" sickness could be so bad that I'd pray to miscarry the baby I wanted for so long. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It really can be that bad and I wish we'd talk about it more openly (in general, thank goodness for MDC).</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> BTDT.
 

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No one told me how disconnected I would feel to my breasts when my milk came in. Has anyone else experienced this?<br><br>
All of a sudden, overnight, they were very foreign to me and completely out of my control which freaked me out a bit. Of course you get used to it, but the feeling of being ruled by your breasts was weird for me.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Melly24</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15459774"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No one told me how disconnected I would feel to my breasts when my milk came in. Has anyone else experienced this?<br><br>
All of a sudden, overnight, they were very foreign to me and completely out of my control which freaked me out a bit. Of course you get used to it, but the feeling of being ruled by your breasts was weird for me.</div>
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Oh yeah...and not only were the foreign, leaky boobs weird but no one ever told me that when the baby is here, birth mom = food. Always. You will not get to play, comfort, or otherwise interact with your newborn the way everyone else can because you are the chuck wagon. And that you will need a ton of support being that chuck wagon while everyone else plays peek-a-boo.
 

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I think it's not so much of a case of "no one told me", is that these things just weren't emphasized enough!<br><br>
Afterpains - okay, all the books mention them, but none ever said that I would be popping tylenol and advil for 4 days after the birth of my 3rd child, after having a completely unmedicated birth. And it's just not fair to have 30 second long contractions for my entire labor, but have to suffer through TWO MINUTE long afterpains that I have to breath through!<br><br>
Placenta - no one told me just how GOOD it feels to have that placenta come out! After birthing a baby, it's such a piece of cake to have that big mushy blob pop out instead of a hard skull <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Milk letdown - no one EVER told me how painful it would be, for months and months.<br><br>
Milk letdown #2 - No one ever told me to push my nipple inwards to stop the flow of milk from the opposite breast I'm feeding from, to stop the Niagara Falls effect. If I had known that with my first child, I would have been so much happier, particularly overnight. It really grosses me out to be sleeping on a wet towel all night.<br><br>
Ovulation and breastfeeding - nobody ever told me I'd have to consider weaning my current nursling in order to get pregnant again, when he was 16 months old! I just assumed that because he slept through the night and was over a year old, AF would return and getting pregnant would be easy. But that's not the case for everyone apparently.
 

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No one ever told me that if you have a baby girl, they can have a "period".......something to do with the hormones leftover from you I think. I changed her diaper a few days after she was born and I was freaking out. LOL
 

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Oh and no one ever told me that the swelling can get worse after you give birth. After birth I swell like a pumpkin and it stays that way for about a week.
 

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Oh man, my son was 10.5 lbs. The day after he was born I weighed myself and I had only lost 5 lbs. I was sooo swollen I didn't even lose the weight from him/fluids/placenta/blood!
 

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-About the morning sickness that makes you pray for a miscarriage. (My mom had four babies and never got sick once, I was very unprepared for ms).<br><br>
-About the non stop drooling that happens to 10% of pregnant woman. The awful having to carry around a dang plastic cup everywhere to spit in. Cause if you try to swallow it all, you'll puke. (Thank god this only happened to me for one of my pregnancies).<br><br>
-That you can get a hemorrhoid that stays inside?!? It itches like heck just the same, and now I get it at the beginning of every pregnancy and after every labor.<br><br>
-Just exactly how freaking much a pitocin induced labor hurts. I've done it twice now with no pain meds at all, and I'm still not sure how I did it.<br><br>
-How big and painful boobs get when they're first filling up with milk.<br><br>
-How neurotic one can be as a first time mom. So much of that stuff just does.not.matter in the grand scheme of things.<br><br>
-That very skinny people, can in fact make "enough" breast milk. I got pushed into supplementing with my first, and was never able to get back to a full supply.<br><br>
-That it's ok to think babies are boring. Some people just don't dig the baby stage, it doesn't make you weird.<br><br>
-That you can literally say "no" to everything while having a hospital birth. I got it right this last time. I wouldn't even sign the admission papers and just got more stubborn as labor progressed. No constant monitoring, no IV, no antibiotics, no I won't stay in bed, no pain meds, yes I can pee alone, no I won't push on my back...you figure out how to catch the baby this way or I'll just catch him myself!<br><br>
Seriously hospital birthing moms. I've done three hospital births and my last one was the best so far. It's amazing how different it all went when I was very determined and stubborn to do things "my" way.
 
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