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I was looking at the book sticky at the top...but there are SO many books listed...I don't know which one would be the best. The library here doesn't have any GD books....and I went to MDC giving looking for books but no response...so guess I'll have to scrounge up some cash to buy a book. So what ONE book on gentle discipline would you recommend???
 

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"The Secret to Parenting" by Anthony Wolf. It's a more authoritative GD book, but I think it is a great intro for someone coming from a less than GD background, and may not be as "shocking" to the system as some of the less authoritative GD books <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . I've recommended it to several of my own friends in real life who came from spanking/yelling/shaming childhoods, and they seem to love it and are amazed at how you really DON'T have to yell/hit/etc to parent. I think it's a great springboard into GD, and if you like it and want to get even more into it, you can get other books down the road...I think this one can be a gentler beginning to changing your mindset. I'd lend you my copy, but one of my girlfriends already has it!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>donosmommy04</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"The Secret to Parenting" by Anthony Wolf. It's a more authoritative GD book, but I think it is a great intro for someone coming from a less than GD background, and may not be as "shocking" to the system as some of the less authoritative GD books <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . I've recommended it to several of my own friends in real life who came from spanking/yelling/shaming childhoods, and they seem to love it and are amazed at how you really DON'T have to yell/hit/etc to parent. I think it's a great springboard into GD, and if you like it and want to get even more into it, you can get other books down the road...I think this one can be a gentler beginning to changing your mindset. I'd lend you my copy, but one of my girlfriends already has it!</div>
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Well, of course y'all knew I was going to agree with this.<br><br>
This book is my "bible" and while it is, as donosmom says more authoritative it is definitely a great springboard and for many comes much more naturally than the more touchy feely books like BTP....<br><br>
It is VERY practical and it does not depend on a parent sounding like they are reading from some sort of parenting manual in their interactions (which is how 'How to talk...." sounds (to me, I am sure for some its more natual sounding).<br><br>
It absolutely 100 percent changed how I would deal with certain situations WAY for the better:<br><br>
1. Lying<br><br>
2. Sibling Interaction<br><br>
3. Sulking<br><br>
4. Tantruming<br><br>
5. Outright Defiance<br><br><br>
I am AMAZED at how well the methods in this book took all of the stress out of our interactions during these times.<br><br>
And BTY, the book is pretty funny!
 

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I agree with pps about the Anthony Wolf book. I got it about 6 months ago on Maya's recommendation. It's great. I read a lot of it to dh on a car trip. (he doesn't read much) Even he liked the humor in it.
 

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I have to say that I didn't believe all of the hype initially but I absolutely loved Unconditional Parenting by Kohn. It has really made me look at how I parent, why I do things the way I do, and how to look at everything in a completely different way.<br><br>
I also loved Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles.<br><br>
Yes and Becoming the Parent you Want to Be.<br><br>
Can you tell that I am a Gentle Discipline book fan? I need all of the help I can get sometimes.
 

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I started with the Anthony Wolf book, too, and my dh really loved it. His argument for why not to punish is one of the best I've heard, and he definitely convinced me. But for me, I just wasn't comfortable with some of the methods, and I also felt like it didn't cover everything I needed.<br><br>
I would recommend How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk, especially if you only have time to read one. This book really gave me some insight into a different way to interact with my kids, and they're only 3 and 10 months! I felt like I really learned how to express my displeasure, maintain my boundaries, model good relationship skills, and still not hurt anyone's feelings irrevocably.<br><br>
Some people might already have these skills, but I definitely did not. I've even been using them in my marriage!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Another fan of Unconditional Parenting.<br><br>
Not a "how to" manual, but helps change the perceptions so one can figure out the "how to's" on his/her own
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annab</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Given your children's ages, I would say Becoming The Parent You Want to Be</div>
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Very good book <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annab</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Given your children's ages, I would say Becoming The Parent You Want to Be</div>
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I second that. The only one I've read that directly applies to kids under 5 or so.<br><br>
There are a lot of good ones for older kids, and I learned a lot from them, but I was still left wondering HOW to apply that to my (at the time) 1yo. (Loving Your Child Is Not Enough and How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen... were both good, but aimes at older kids)<br><br>
The Continuum Concept also really helped me with how to raise my ds. But its not so much a how-to book. It basically tells how the primitive tribe the Yequana raise THEIR kids. I love it though.
 

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So babygrant, now that you have about a dozen of those "ONE book" recommendations, which one are you deciding on?<br><br>
We made it easy for you, didn't we <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sledg</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><i>Connection Parenting</i> by Pam Leo</div>
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Hmmm....I have never heard of that one. ::: adding book to list of must reads :::
 

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If you're on a tight book budget...there are many places online that have books at a super reduced rate... you can buy books used or an older version of a book...
 

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Please read The Discovery of the Child by Maria Montessori! (or The Secret to Childhood, or The Absorbent Mind)<br>
She is an early GDer! Her ideas on prizes and punishments, freedom and discipline, mistakes and their correction are so similar to some of the other books mentioned such as How to Talk (this was really effective form me) and Unconditional Parenting.<br>
I am looking into Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, The Secret to Parenting and Connection Parenting.<br>
Any one want to trade?
 

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I loved Unconditional Parenting.Check to see if your library will order books for you.My library was able to get books I wanted from another branch.Also i've found a few that i loved and then searched them on ebay or other sites that sell used books at cheaper prices.Sometimes they are called used, but are brand new.
 

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Which <span style="text-decoration:underline;">one</span> book is right for you, I think, really depends on who *you* are as a person, and who you want to be as a parent.<br><br>
Most people read parenting books for ideas on how to handle specific situations, and perhaps end up refining their philosophy somewhat as a result of a book that "speaks to them."<br><br>
I am comfortable with the parent-in-charge model, but I don't believe punishment is terribly helpful, so I liked "Secret of Parenting" and "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" My aim in reading these books was to develop a toolkit for ways to handle tough kiddo moments without punishment, and both books were excellent for that. The latter put a new perspective on expectations we have for our kids and whether we in fact meet those expectations ourselves so that was a nice side benefit <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Quagmire</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Which <span style="text-decoration:underline;">one</span> book is right for you, I think, really depends on who *you* are as a person, and who you want to be as a parent.</div>
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ITA!!!<br><br>
For many people "How to Talk..." and "Becoming the Parent you want to Be" are wonderful and just "feel" right.<br><br>
For me well if someone talked to me the way they suggest I would throw something at them (but hey that's just me.)<br><br>
For me "The Secret of Parenting" felt right. For many its too flippant or unattached. But it was the right style for me.
 

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The #1 book for me so far was Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey.<br><br>
And I've read a lot of books!<br><br>
Mandy
 
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