[The Lucky One]

Warning: vent ahead!

So we're at the mall today. Dh gets his hair cut there and ds and I went along. I try to avoid the mall generally, especially on the weekend, but ds did need some jeans so we decided to make it a family event.

Right by the hair place they have a small 'playground' with soft rubber things for the kids to climb on. The climbing things are shaped like food. One is a piece of watermelon on an angle, another a gigantic hotdog, and another is a big cupcake.

Ds saw this area and wanted to see what it was all about.

Before going in, I read the sign and it said it was for children less than 42 inches tall. Great, I thought!

We get inside, I take ds's shoes off and he hops off my lap ready to play.

But, he can't play because 80% of the children are HUGE! At least 8 or 10 years old. They were being rough. Really rough. Jumping off the hotdog. Slamming their bodies into the cupcake. Pushing each other.

Ds was afraid to play and I'm glad he was. He would have been trampled. We left and went to the toy store, but man I was mad.

Most, if not all of these kids had parents sitting back watching them. What's wrong with people? I mean, really, how much fun can a 10 year old really have jumping off of a rubber hotdog designed for 3 year olds?

I tried to put myself in those parents shoes and I think that when the day comes that ds is too big for something like that, I will tell him 'no' and move on.

Grrrr.....

lisa

 

[khrisday]

Well, I don't like it when parents allow their kids to be rough in those type of places but I do think the height requirements are a little silly, and very unfriendly to families. When you have more than one child, it becomes an issue. How can you allow one child to play, and ask the other child to sit quietly on a bench watching? Foregoing the place entirely can be an option, but really why should we have to simply becaue one of my children happens to be an inch too tall?

 

[The Lucky One]

Well, I had thought about that, khrisday. What if I had and older child and ds? I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. Probably just skip the playground, I guess, or instruct my older child to be very gentle.

Still, it just made me mad.

 

[eilonwy]

I understand what you're saying about 8-10 year olds, but what about 3 year olds who *are* 42 inches tall? I know they exist, because my niece is one of them... does she have a right to jump off the big rubber hot dog? I think an age limit is more reasonable than a size limit. And I agree, I can't see how much fun it could be for an older child, but khrisday had a point: what about families where one kid is "small" enough but the other isn't?

 

[The Lucky One]

Well, I suppose there are three year olds who are that tall.

Maybe an age limit would be more appropriate, or better yet, how 'bout some good old parental common sense.

Frankly, I was embarrassed for those 10 year olds who were jumping off minature toys and pushing smaller kids out of the way. It looked mighty silly.

But really, isn't that why daycares and such separate the children into age appropriate groups? I just don't think 8-10 year olds are designed to play with 2-4 year olds in group settings. Especially when physical activity is involved.

I did not mean to offend anyone with my original post. I was just aggrevated at the loss of something that I knew my ds would enjoy.

lisa

 

[Doodlebugsmom]

Lisa,
We have the same type of playground at our mall but it's animals, water, and trees instead of food toys. There are often kids in there who appear to be 10 or 11 years old and as tall as me. I too feel embarrassed for them playing on the toys meant for little ones. Luckily, the mall manager or security officer visit the area frequently and I have seen them tell the bigger kids that they can't play. Dd loves the area and we usually go during weekdays or in the evening if it's raining. It is usually pretty empty or just has a few very young children playing at those times. We have learned to steer clear on the weekends. When dd is too tall to play, she will no longer be allowed to play. If she has a younger sibling who wants to play, she will have to take a book or some other toy that she can sit and play with. IMO, the rules are the rules and allowing a child to play if they are too tall tells them that breaking the rule is ok. I have no problem with kids under the age of 6 or so playing even if they're a little too tall. I have never seen a child that young be asked to leave. What I really had a major problem with was one time there was a little boy there who was probably about 8. He was running around like a mad man, pushing and hitting the other kids. All the parents wondered whose kid he was. His mom finally walked up and got him. She had left him there while she was shopping!

 

[Arduinna]

Size limits are there for a reason, the safety of the children. 60-70 lb kids can seriously hurt a 20-30 lb one if they land on them in those jumping things. It's sad that the kids a toy was designed for can't play with it because bigger kids aren't being told no by their parents.

I would have reported it to the mall information desk/managers office or whatever the appropriate place was at that mall.

 

[ja mama]

I'm just a nosy loudmouth that would have spoken up. Feigned innocence and depending if I knew hich Moms they belonged to I'd say "Gee, I guess you missed the sign that says it's only for little kids" and if the mom didn't do anything I'd take on a n air of authority and talk to the kids "Excuse me, you're being too rough in the little kids space. you need to go sit down or leave"

And I have done this several times at our mall where they have age and size posted, obviously.

 

[Peppermint]

First, I totally hear what you are saying, just to be clear. When my kids are old enough to understand that they are too tall for something, I will make sure they stay off of it.

But, my dd is 3 and 42 inches and 32 pounds (built like daddy), and as I was putting her in her size 5 jeans the other day (which fall off her waist, but are long enough to cover her ankles), I asked dh if he thought the time would be soon that her height would become a problem- now I know it is

, and I don't mean from people like on here, but from rules like *42 inches* and under

Making me so sad just to think about it, my poor little honey. I know her height won't be an advantage until she's out of highschool most likely, but I didn't know it would be a disadvantage this early.

 

[turquoise]

Quote:

Originally posted by jess7396 I asked dh if he thought the time would be soon that her height would become a problem- now I know it is , and I don't mean from people like on here, but from rules like *42 inches* and under Making me so sad just to think about it, my poor little honey. I know her height won't be an advantage until she's out of highschool most likely, but I didn't know it would be a disadvantage this early.

(waiving hand from back of the class) NO, NO, NO! I disagree - sort of, with the direction this is going in. In my very humble opinion 8-10 yr olds (and biger little kids) can play comfortably with the little kids IF the parents are doing their job. The bigger kids need to know that they are the BIG kids (and technically do not belong on the equipment to begin with) but if they play nicely and are considerate of the kids that do belong then all is well. If big kids are made to take responsibility as the Big Kids it can be fun. It is sooooo cute to see the older kids helping the little kids and I think it's good for both big and small.

I think the real problem (and I'm so sorry you had to experience this) is that the parents were not pulling in the reigns and were letting their big kids take over a park that wasn't meant for them. I mean, sometimes when the kids are getting restless it's easy to think "thank God they're burning off some of that extra energy", ya get so caught up in your own world that you forget to be courteous of others. And then there are those parents who could give a rat's behind..... but either way, that's no fun for you, and I'm sorry you had such bad luck the time you were there. Maybe you'll have better luck next time.

 

[merpk]

This is sort of different yet sort of the same ...

Our nearest playgrounds in the park are two playgrounds right next to each other in Central Park. One is called "The Toddler Playground," on a sign on the fence by the gate. The one immediately adjacent to it is called "The Adventure Playground." (Both of them used to be in the opening credits to "Sesame Street" -- the scene with the water sprinklers and the steps is the Adventure playground, and the one with the "roller" slide is the toddler playground ...)

The Toddler playground is made for babies and toddlers ... small equipment, the largest thing in it being a small circular slide. The Adventure playground is larger, and has a huge sandy area, big stone climbing things ... okay.

Every so often a group of bigger kids, with or without adults, goes into the toddler playground to hang out. It's infuriating, because they play like big kids, two or three 10yos at a time going down the roller slide, ignoring the 18mo standing in front of the roller slide, turning the roller with his hands ...

Anyway, I just loudly repeat to the bigger kids to "watch out for the babies," or something like that, along with whatever other parents are around to say something ... maybe at least get the bigger kids to be conscious of the situation ... but there's not much you can do ... can't kick 'em out. And in those mall playgrounds, well, the size requirement may be posted, but that doesn't mean they can be ejected for being taller. Like someone else mentioned, younger kids might be taller, so what can you do?

 

[menudo]

When DD was small I had this happen. !0-12 yo kids come playing in a playland for lil ones. No biggie (to me) until the yget rough. While other parents, rant, rave-AMONGST themselves-and some parents ignore, I walk up to teh kids, ask them to either play gently or LEAVE-because this is really meant for lil kids and if my kid or any other lil one gets hurt, it won't be pretty. Honestly, I have always gotten a respectful answer and they stopped or left. And the whispering ranting parents seem annoyed I stopped giving them kids to complain about!!!!!!!!!!

Although, once in a public park for all ages, a 10 yo boy was starting fist fights, etc. w/ my then 1yo DD around. I physically broke them up and spoke with him. He was so deeply troubled, I felt so bad. HE threatened to shoot me or have his brother do so. Ashame and the neighborhood was rough, so I guess I am lucky noone did shoot me (been in the park when shooting occured before!!)

 

[mamaduck]

Quote:

I disagree - sort of, with the direction this is going in. In my very humble opinion 8-10 yr olds (and biger little kids) can play comfortably with the little kids IF the parents are doing their job. The bigger kids need to know that they are the BIG kids (and technically do not belong on the equipment to begin with) but if they play nicely and are considerate of the kids that do belong then all is well. If big kids are made to take responsibility as the Big Kids it can be fun. It is sooooo cute to see the older kids helping the little kids and I think it's good for both big and small.

This is my feeling as well. I think it is great for children of different ages to play together. The problem is rough behavior, not the age or size of the kids playing.

Can you tell I'm another mother with very large children? My 80 pound 7 yo has *never* hurt another child at a playground.

There have been times that I have felt very greatful for an older child who has been willing to extend a helping hand to my little one and coach him through playground equipment. And my older son plays that role to other people's little one's all the time. I don't know how many times I've heard him say, "Can I help you find the slide? Just follow me!" to a little child who is wandering around at a loss for how to get started.

Parents need to hang around and watch their kids, I agree. Our YMCA has an indoor playground (tubes/slides/etc.) and there is a playroom moniter assigned to the room to enforce rules, and a parent is required to stay and supervise their own children. There is no age or size limit, though the room does have a capacity limit that is enforced. It works out fine. Heck, I've been known to crawl the tubes with the kiddos, and lets just say I'm bigger than..... well, lets not say what I'm bigger than!

I hate to see older children feeling left out of the fun. Childhood is too short as it is.

 

[Liz]

This is a very timely thread for me. I encountered a group of big kids at my local community centre yesterday. My 3 year old son and I were in this room that is full of little kid toys, etc. It is not posted as being for a particular age group but I have never seen big kids in there. On this day there were a group of big kids, probably the oldest was 7 or 8 (I'm terrible at guessing big kids' ages, as we haven't got one yet) running laps through this room, usually kicking a toy on their way through. It was really obnoxious and I was glaring at them and getting ready to say something. Then they came in and started to throw stuff around so I do say, pretty pissed off, "Hey, no throwing!" so they start to build stuff with these big plastic blocks. My ds is 'helping' by passing blocks, etc. The younger kids kind of include him in the game. All the time though they are making SO MUCH NOISE and I find myself still kind of glaring. Then I remember something I read about adolescent boys and how society treats them like criminals. Don't you kind of tense up when you pass a teenage boy? Well, I felt like I was doing the same thing here with these 7 year olds! How were these boys going to learn to play responsibly if I jumped to the conclusion that they couldn't? So I backed off and tried to smile encouragement when they were doing something nice. And I tried to understand that they just liked to make noise even when they were engaged in something constructive. I really think they thought, "We're going to get kicked out anyway so why bother to behave ourselves?" But when I trusted them to play nicely with ds and even gave them some creative suggestions for their fort, they mellowed. Then after they built the fort, of course, someone got the brilliant idea to knock it down. All the boys, including ds, lined up, ran and slid (?) into the fort. DS started to cry. All the boys were terribly worried but when it became clear that ds was crying because he didn't get to knock it down (he was behind the charge) they all immediately started building another for him to knock down. The play always had an aggressive edge to it but ds never got hurt.

I'm not saying these kids should be allowed to take over these areas but in this situation I was happy to give them a chance to play responsibly. But MAN were they loud!

 

[ebethmom]

We took ds to the indoor playground at the Mall often last winter, but it was usually a frustrating experience for dh and myself. It is just maddening to see out of control kids plowing over the smaller ones, and their parents talking on a cell phone, reading a magazine, drinking a latte (ignoring the no food/drink rule).

There was one large piece of play equipment that checked out babysitters would sit behind. They couldn't see a thing! And their charges were usually running wild.

We stopped taking ds there after we joined the Y that has child care. He still asks to go to the Mall to play on the slides sometimes. He liked the chaos, but it drove me nuts.

 

[Dar]

Liz - that is so cool! I know that now that I have a big kid, I look back and cringe when I think of how I judged all the 5 yr olds when my kid was 3, or the 7 yr olds when mine was 5... they're all still kids.

I also so agree with what Mamaduck said, as another mom whose kid has always been big. We ignored the signs about age and height limits, and Rain was generally careful, and when I was concerned, I talked to her about what I saw that seemed unsafe for little ones. When she was a toddler, I know she got lost up in the tubes a couple of times and I was glad there were some 8-10 yr olds willing to help her down. think it's good that older kids can still play, that they want to climb through the tubes and not dress like Britney and talk about hairstyles. I really loved it when Discovery Zone was around, you'd have a mix of adults and teens and kids and toddlers all playing together.

It's about consideration for others, really, not leaving people out.

Dar

 

[Marsupialmom]

I have tall skinny kids.

My 5 year old was recently mistakingly placed with 7 year old girls because of her height.

I do think the various ages can play together, mine do. Our homeschooling group has it and has very little problems. BUT THE KEY is parental envolvement.

I have to agree with boys being looked down upon. I was out with friends. We had a 3, 4, and 5 yr old girls then 2 nine year old boys. Guess who was told to be more quite? The boys. Who was being noisy the girls. Repeatably I have seen my son be the one getting introuble because he was a boy and it must be his fault. ***Please understand my son is no angel but it does infurate me when he has done nothing wrong or there are 2 people at fault and he gets blamed.

 

[detergentdiva]

Quote:

Originally posted by jess7396 First, I totally hear what you are saying, just to be clear. When my kids are old enough to understand that they are too tall for something, I will make sure they stay off of it. But, my dd is 3 and 42 inches and 32 pounds (built like daddy), and as I was putting her in her size 5 jeans the other day (which fall off her waist, but are long enough to cover her ankles), I asked dh if he thought the time would be soon that her height would become a problem- now I know it is , and I don't mean from people like on here, but from rules like *42 inches* and under Making me so sad just to think about it, my poor little honey. I know her height won't be an advantage until she's out of highschool most likely, but I didn't know it would be a disadvantage this early.

I'm with you on this one. My oldest DS is 6, 54 inches, and 92 lbs. Built very sturdy without an ounce of fat just like his daddy. We have had similar issues since he was a baby. In a "toddler class" we took one time one of the moms wouldn't let her dd play with my ds because he was so big. She was afraid h would hurt her. My ds was always gentle and never did anything to deserve being treated that way except for grow like his daddy.
Recently on a trip to Ikea, the boys decided they wanted to go into the play area. Although there were many 6,7, and 8 yr olds in there, ds 6 was not allowed because of the height restriction. Very unfair in my eyes, and something that could be detrimental to any young child.
"Your friends are smaller than you so they can play but since you are big you don't get to play." What type of message are we giving to our children?
For what it's worth, DS is the tallest child in his clas, with only 1 other child out of 19 who is even close to his size.
DS 4 is not as tall or bulky but on the taller end of things.
DD 2 1/2 is the biggest child by a full head in our 2 yr old mommy and me class.
I find that with my oldest and youngest the public expect much more out of them based on their size and don't take their age and maturity levels into consideration.

I really think that places should change to an age limit vs. a size limit unless the size limit is for safety on a ride.
It gives a mixed message that can have grave results for our big little children.

 

[Piglet68]

Liz: that was a very interesting story and I'm definitely going to keep that in mind.

What I think is happening, is that as moms of only little ones, our mama bear instincts are popping up. I admit it: I get concerned when big kids "invade" the toddler/baby areas, because I'm sure DD is gonna get pushed over or shoved or slammed into. When I read the OP, I thought "yeah! those kids should stay outta there!".

But then I read the poster who said that kids of different ages don't play well together, and I had to disagree. From what I've learned about homeschooling, it's the exact opposite. The problem, perhaps, is that most kids in school are only exposed to kids their own age so they never learn how. And also, the parental involvement is a big factor.

If there were *nice* older kids, who looked out for the little ones, I would *love* to have them be a part of the playgroup. And it will be a strong motivation for me to make my DD grow up into one of those "nice" older kids.

Anyway, I done alot of thinking and turnaround on the issue, and I'm thankful to all of you for the thought-provoking discussion.

 

[USAmma]

I think the parents of those kids should have told them to tone it down or they would have to leave, because they would hurt the little kids. Or else post rules that say kids over a certain *age* should not be allowed to play there, rather than height. Height should only matter on amusement rides.

As far as older kids-- a 10 year old could play gently and not cause trouble, or he/she could sit next to mom and read a book, or help supvervise their younger sibling.

We have a similar playground in our area, and I once complained to the security guards about it and they cleared out some of the older kids because they were being so rough. But it's a constant problem. My dd doesn't like playing there because it's getting too overly crowded. Even when there's only 4 and under kids there can be up to 50 of them at a time!

Darshani