[frontierpsych]

My friend is living with me right now, and has her 6yo son with her. He was messing around and spilled kool aid all over the living room floor (no carpet, luckily) and as soon as it spilled he goes "I didn't do it!" (which of course, I SAW him do it. I wasn't mad at him, I just told him he needed to clean it up) so I sent him to go get some paper towels, and he hands them to me! I told him no, he spilled it, he needs to clean it up. It wasn't a huge unmanageable mess, just some kool aid. So he sticks the whole roll of paper towels in the koolaid and starts smearing it around! *sigh*. Am I expecting too much of him, or should he know how to clean up a spill by that age?

 

[Luthien Arcamenel]

EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT...

That said, yes "six year olds" can certainly wipe up messes.
It sounds to me like his mom just takes care of it, and therefore, he has no clue. That's all.

kool-aid???

:

 

[Enudely]

He should know how to clean up a spill at that age. Sounds like he was messing with you!

 

[octobermom]

I agree with both the above..
1) every kid is diffrent and this may just be an area he struggles
2) I'd expect most 6 years plenty capable (my 3 year old clean her spills)
3) he might have never been taught
4) hes could very well be playing a game (the use of the "entire roll" makes me think hes likely playing a game.

 

[Luthien Arcamenel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by octobermom 4) (the use of the "entire roll" makes me think hes likely playing a game.

Ah, yes. The age old male trick of doing it really wrong once so that she'll never ask you again...

 

[frontierpsych]

eh, yeah, there were only a few paper towels left on the roll, but he undid it in the kool aid (hey *I* don't buy the crap, his mom does! I try to get him to drink apple juice!) and he just marde a bigger mess. I know that physically he is capable of cleaning up his own messesbut he just gave me this look like "wtf?" when i told him to clean it up himself. I don't have kids of my own yet, but the fact that he can play video games (which I still can't figure out!) but can't read yet makes me a tad weary (because I know he is mentally capable of learning to read, I just don't think reading has ever been encouraged....

Well, I have to go. He has a neighbor kid over and it's getting close to ten o clock and i'm tired and they're noisy! Suddenly having a 6yo in the house is like growing up in Nebraska then moving to Las Vegas!!!

 

[Luthien Arcamenel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frontierpsych Well, I have to go. He has a neighbor kid over and it's getting close to ten o clock and i'm tired and they're noisy! Suddenly having a 6yo in the house is like growing up in Nebraska then moving to Las Vegas!!!

*snort* wait 'till their yours!

 

[frontierpsych]

yep! I looked down at my tummy today and told my daughter I was having myself cryogenically frozen until she was 25.

 

[octobermom]

Quote:

but the fact that he can play video games (which I still can't figure out!) but can't read yet makes me a tad weary (because I know he is mentally capable of learning to read, I just don't think reading has ever been encouraged....

Well while I don;t approve of the video games overall, I wouldn't necessary make the connection from that to not reading. 6 is still young a six year old not reading is VERY normal. However I've seen 3 year olds master video games.

 

[wednesday]

Heheh, I agree with the "I'll do it badly so she won't ask me again" opinion...kids are smart. Yes a 6 year old should clean up his own spills. My son has been cleaning up his spills since he turned 2. Not totally successfully, but he does understand his messes are his responsibility and I trust that by 6 he'll have improved his technique.

 

[4evermom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by octobermom Well while I don;t approve of the video games overall, I wouldn't necessary make the connection from that to not reading. 6 is still young a six year old not reading is VERY normal. However I've seen 3 year olds master video games.

ITA with a not reading 6 yo being normal. I've heard of kids who have learned to read BECAUSE they are interested in video games and want to learn more about them by reading online the plots, tricks, shortcuts, etc of the more complicated games.

 

[WuWei]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frontierpsych My friend is living with me right now, and has her 6yo son with her. He was messing around and spilled kool aid all over the living room floor (no carpet, luckily) and as soon as it spilled he goes "I didn't do it!" (which of course, I SAW him do it. I wasn't mad at him, I just told him he needed to clean it up) so I sent him to go get some paper towels, and he hands them to me! I told him no, he spilled it, he needs to clean it up. It wasn't a huge unmanageable mess, just some kool aid. So he sticks the whole roll of paper towels in the koolaid and starts smearing it around! *sigh*. Am I expecting too much of him, or should he know how to clean up a spill by that age?

We have never treated any messes as "my mess", "your mess". We consider it a problem to be solved and we work together. For instance, dh might drop the chicken from the grill while coming into the house. I don't stand there and say "You spilled it. You need to clean it up." I'll say, 'OH! Here, I'll go wash off the chicken and here is some paper towel. Ds would you get a wash cloth? And we'll wet it and wipe it up.' Same thing if ds spills juice in his room. I'll just say, 'Oops, here is a napkin. Try to sop that up and I'll get a wash cloth to try to wash out the stain.' When I spill something in the kitchen, ds, as quickly as I, will rush to grab a wash cloth and start wiping it up. He has helped clean up messes freely and gladly since he was about 18 months old when he thought it was "fun". We just never said that cleaning up wasn't "fun". And we all just treat messes as something that needs to be wiped up. There is no "punishment" of *you clean up* because *you made the mess*. Ds has never said "I didn't do it". There is no reason to deny accountability as there is no "getting in trouble" for making a mess. He yells "I spilled juice!" or "I made a mess!" I am glad that he informs me so that we can clean it up as soon as possible. I thank him for telling me and we just clean it up. We all make messes; it is a neutral act that needs a solution, imo. We just clean them up together. I would rather model that we all make mistakes and that we help each other.

HTH, Pat

 

[mama_kass]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lúthien Arcamenel Ah, yes. The age old male trick of doing it really wrong once so that she'll never ask you again...

: They learn so quick!

 

[frontierpsych]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scubamama We have never treated any messes as "my mess", "your mess". We consider it a problem to be solved and we work together. For instance, dh might drop the chicken from the grill while coming into the house. I don't stand there and say "You spilled it. You need to clean it up." I'll say, 'OH! Here, I'll go wash off the chicken and here is some paper towel. Ds would you get a wash cloth? And we'll wet it and wipe it up.' Same thing if ds spills juice in his room. I'll just say, 'Oops, here is a napkin. Try to sop that up and I'll get a wash cloth to try to wash out the stain.' When I spill something in the kitchen, ds, as quickly as I, will rush to grab a wash cloth and start wiping it up. He has helped clean up messes freely and gladly since he was about 18 months old when he thought it was "fun". We just never said that cleaning up wasn't "fun". And we all just treat messes as something that needs to be wiped up. There is no "punishment" of *you clean up* because *you made the mess*. Ds has never said "I didn't do it". There is no reason to deny accountability as there is no "getting in trouble" for making a mess. He yells "I spilled juice!" or "I made a mess!" I am glad that he informs me so that we can clean it up as soon as possible. I thank him for telling me and we just clean it up. We all make messes; it is a neutral act that needs a solution, imo. We just clean them up together. I would rather model that we all make mistakes and that we help each other. HTH, Pat

Yes, that helps. That's how I usually think too, but I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have a hard time bending over at this point, lol! Like I said though, he's not my kid, I didn't raise him, and I guess he was raised to think that messes are something to be punished for. I did end up helping him clean it up in the end, I just thought it was strange that he seemed to be stuggling with it. I'm trying to get used to understanding different milestones that different kids reach at different ages (for instance, to me 6 seems a bit old not to be reading, because most of the kids I know have been reading since 3 or 4, and so did I, so I had no idea that 6 was a normal age not to be reading). In any case, I hope I can start to model things for him so maybe he'll begin to look at things a different way.

 

[WuWei]

I missed the reading comments. But, boys generally read later than girls. Physical children have less interest in the fine details of the written word. Plenty of people graduate from high school without reading skills beyond the fourth grade, or are less proficient or hate reading. We unschool reading. Many children left to their own pace will be learning the rudiments and symbolic representation of letters, words and meanings without spending time on the written word or writing. However, when an interest to read more proficiently occurs, they can "learn to read" in about 40 hours. I know of many children going from being a "non-reader" to chapter books in a matter of weeks. Others are pushed to learn to read before they are developmentally (visually, emotionally, cognitively, intellectually) ready and are taught to believe themselves to be "poor readers" and it becomes a self-fulfilling identity.

I can go on and on about the ills of forced reading.......

Pat

 

[WuWei]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4evermom ITA with a not reading 6 yo being normal. I've heard of kids who have learned to read BECAUSE they are interested in video games and want to learn more about them by reading online the plots, tricks, shortcuts, etc of the more complicated games.

Yep. My friend's girls learned to read by inquiring about the written word that had meaning and utility to their lives: DVR programing, tv guide reading and computer and video game characters, strategy, rules, programing, etc. No lessons but learning happens when it is *useful*.

Learning can be joyful, or made to be drudgery, pretty easily.

Pat

 

[kitchenwitch]

Yeah a six year old should be able to wipe up a spill... Maybe wait a year or two to mop the floor!!! LOL but a spill shouldn't be a problem.

 

[2Sweeties1Angel]

I "make" my 5 year-old mop up the kitchen floor sometimes. He actually enjoys doing it, but then he goes and tells my parents that I force it. Whatever

It just depends on the kid, I guess. Now if only I get his father to vaccuum...

Quote:

I've heard of kids who have learned to read BECAUSE they are interested in video games and want to learn more about them by reading online the plots, tricks, shortcuts, etc of the more complicated games.

That's why DS is starting to learn to read. Hey, whatever motivates him works for me.

 

[frontierpsych]

Yeah, he wiped it up most of the way, then I got the rest and mopped up the stickiness.

ITA about forced reading, I guess I'm just around kids who are interested a lot. I was one of those kids who LOVED reading and just couldn't fathom that others didn't want to read.

I used to read the TV guide when I was little!

 

[Fieryfly]

I am a schoolage home daycare provider, most of my daycare kids are between 5-8 years old. I have come across kids who act very much like this little boy. I think you handled it very well and most likely he didn't know how to clean it up properly. I have kids who just toss a bunch of towels on it and then complain that they can't clean it up.

Its a good opportunity to teach them how to do it successfully and put a positive spin on the fact that they cleaned up after themselves.