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I know they're at an age where it might be beginning to retract naturally (7 & 8.5) but wondering what I should be telling them. (Dad is circ'ed) Both for cleanliness & so they don't get freaked out about it.
What should I tell my sons about natural retraction?
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Speaking from a generally non circ-ing country where no-one really pays a lot of attention to foreskins (thank goodness) I would say that they are probably already retracting them without you knowing anyway.
My boys used to do all kinds of things to their foreskins just to see if it was possible. Everything is possible it seems
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As for washing, when I watched them in the bath I just told them to swoosh the end around under the water to keep it clean. They knew what I meant!
My boys used to do all kinds of things to their foreskins just to see if it was possible. Everything is possible it seems
As for washing, when I watched them in the bath I just told them to swoosh the end around under the water to keep it clean. They knew what I meant!
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I don't think it matters that much, IMO.
I confess that my mother had to tell me a couple things about hygiene that I didn't know (and I was an adult, no less! ), but it didn't really matter.
(Just in case you're wondering what those things are - my mom once told me I should wash my belly-button, and another time she told me that people were supposed to wash the bottoms of their feet with a washrag.)
Of course, I had already bought my own home when I learned those things, and my life was not any better or worse having not known them for awhile. There are probably people still out there who don't wash the bottoms of their feet with wash rags who will live to tell the story. As for my belly-button, well, I can't think that I've ever washed it anyway!
I confess that my mother had to tell me a couple things about hygiene that I didn't know (and I was an adult, no less! ), but it didn't really matter.
(Just in case you're wondering what those things are - my mom once told me I should wash my belly-button, and another time she told me that people were supposed to wash the bottoms of their feet with a washrag.)
Of course, I had already bought my own home when I learned those things, and my life was not any better or worse having not known them for awhile. There are probably people still out there who don't wash the bottoms of their feet with wash rags who will live to tell the story. As for my belly-button, well, I can't think that I've ever washed it anyway!
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OMG Penny! You don't wash your belly button every time you take a bath???? Don't you get horrible infections? Hasn't you middle rotted out? Don't you have horrible infections? Isn't it impacted with some kind of smelly smegma like goo?
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Well, I don't clean mine out that often either. I wonder why we don't get those infections? Washing out a belly button is like major surgery compared to washing out a foreskin. I see very fat people that must have to have a power drill to clean out theirs. Theirs must be 3 or 4 inches deep! How do they ever clean them? When I was a kid, I was painfully thin and had an outtie. Well, that went away! Now it is a job to really clean it. Maybe a gas powered pressure washer would work! I'll have to try that!
Thanks for bringing that up. That's going into my arsenal for those that say a intact penis is hard to clean.
Frank
Well, I don't clean mine out that often either. I wonder why we don't get those infections? Washing out a belly button is like major surgery compared to washing out a foreskin. I see very fat people that must have to have a power drill to clean out theirs. Theirs must be 3 or 4 inches deep! How do they ever clean them? When I was a kid, I was painfully thin and had an outtie. Well, that went away! Now it is a job to really clean it. Maybe a gas powered pressure washer would work! I'll have to try that!
Thanks for bringing that up. That's going into my arsenal for those that say a intact penis is hard to clean.
Frank
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Well, my little guy is 4 (5 on the 8th...sniff...my baby!). I've been telling him for a while that there is an "inside" and that one day he will be able to pull back the skin and "see" it.
What should you tell your boys? Well, maybe try "It's important to wash all of your body when you are in the tub/shower. When you wash your penis, make sure to retract the foreskin, rinse underneath and replace it." I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't already "somewhat" doing so (perhaps not in the name of hygiene anyways... :LOL ). You might get an "aww, MOM!" out of embarassment, but they'll hear you.
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Cindy
Lindsey (96/02/26)
Jason (00/06/08)
Originally Posted by Gendenwitha I know they're at an age where it might be beginning to retract naturally (7 & 8.5) but wondering what I should be telling them. (Dad is circ'ed) Both for cleanliness & so they don't get freaked out about it. |
What should you tell your boys? Well, maybe try "It's important to wash all of your body when you are in the tub/shower. When you wash your penis, make sure to retract the foreskin, rinse underneath and replace it." I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't already "somewhat" doing so (perhaps not in the name of hygiene anyways... :LOL ). You might get an "aww, MOM!" out of embarassment, but they'll hear you.
Cindy
Lindsey (96/02/26)
Jason (00/06/08)
I have read time after time on various bulletin boards of teens who suddenly 'discover' that they were supposed to retract and clean the foreskin. Some were unaware that the foreskin could retract, since no one ever told them until they found out on the 'Net. They often masturbated only by moving the skin away from the body.
Reading between the lines, I get the sense that their parents where either unaware of the need to tell the child (circumcised father), uncomfortable talking to the boy, or that they assumed that things would take care of themselves. Never assume!
How many men in their teens / early twenties have been circumcised for an unretractable foreskin, when there may have been no problems if they had 'practiced' pulling it back when the skin was still growing?
Talk to your kids!
Reading between the lines, I get the sense that their parents where either unaware of the need to tell the child (circumcised father), uncomfortable talking to the boy, or that they assumed that things would take care of themselves. Never assume!
How many men in their teens / early twenties have been circumcised for an unretractable foreskin, when there may have been no problems if they had 'practiced' pulling it back when the skin was still growing?
Talk to your kids!
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I'm glad my DH is intact, so when/if we have a DS he can take him in the shower with him and teach by example!
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Did your DH's parents tell him to retract and how to clean? or did he figure it out on his own?
In non-circing countries, I have a feeling that there's a wide range of behavior among parents, from those that tell their kids how to clean every little part of their bodies, to those that assume their kids will figure it all out by themselves. I bet all the kids end up okay.
However, in those countries, if a foreskin doesn't retract, I bet no one ever thinks to cut it off. :LOL
Originally Posted by Pandora114 I'm glad my DH is intact, so when/if we have a DS he can take him in the shower with him and teach by example! |
In non-circing countries, I have a feeling that there's a wide range of behavior among parents, from those that tell their kids how to clean every little part of their bodies, to those that assume their kids will figure it all out by themselves. I bet all the kids end up okay.
However, in those countries, if a foreskin doesn't retract, I bet no one ever thinks to cut it off. :LOL
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my MIL just assumed DH would know what to do. FIL is circd *odd for Quebec but meh but I think it was because of an overzealous Anglo Dr who moved to Montreal from Toronto or something at the time because RIC in Quebec is just, unheard of outside of the Jewish and islamic communities* but she figured little boys play with their penises. It'll retract eventually, let him play with it in the bath, it'll get clean. No instruction needed because in her words
"Boys ALWAYS play with it, they dont even stop when they are grown, the shower is sometimes the only place they can get privacy enough to do it, and in the process, it gets clean!"
BTW My MIL is the one of two girls out of a family of 5 *Catholic Quebec, no circy-circy remember? . AND she's a mother of 3 boys, so I'll bow to her authoritah of intact care.
"Boys ALWAYS play with it, they dont even stop when they are grown, the shower is sometimes the only place they can get privacy enough to do it, and in the process, it gets clean!"
BTW My MIL is the one of two girls out of a family of 5 *Catholic Quebec, no circy-circy remember? . AND she's a mother of 3 boys, so I'll bow to her authoritah of intact care.
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My DS is only 9 months, but his gets plenty clean just from him playing with it in the bath, I don't think I'll have anything to worry about. OTOH, I'm worried that nothing *else* will be washed with the willy getting all the attention! :LOL
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Would it be weird to look for pics in phamplets on how to apply condoms? I'd rather see it addressed in a nice kid's guide to anatomy type book, but in those types of books I've seen I've never seen anything about foreskin unless maybe it's "some look like this, some like that".
My dh is intact, from an intact country, so I just asked him about it.
He said nothing was ever said - he just figured it out all by himself! :LOL He also said that there isn't any need to retract and clean until the teenage years anyway (he wasn't fully retractable until he was in his teens).
Of course, all of that said - he went to boarding school for awhile (he's British, so this was in the UK). Given that, I'd guess that there wasn't too much chance that he wouldn't know just about everything there was to know about penises/foreskin/retraction/etc! :LOL
He said nothing was ever said - he just figured it out all by himself! :LOL He also said that there isn't any need to retract and clean until the teenage years anyway (he wasn't fully retractable until he was in his teens).
Of course, all of that said - he went to boarding school for awhile (he's British, so this was in the UK). Given that, I'd guess that there wasn't too much chance that he wouldn't know just about everything there was to know about penises/foreskin/retraction/etc! :LOL
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My Dh says that you are probably worrying over nothing. They know their own bodies and will have sussed that it all moves about. Do you watch them in the bath or shower? Have you noticed them doing anything with it? I think just talking about the bits that need washing while they are washing will be all that you need to do.
A book to explain a foreskin to a boy who has one of his own is probably not necessary. An intact penis is not wierd, it normal. Lots of folk here have them. Your boys have them and it is normal to them. Are you anxious because it is something that you have no experience of yourself or with your DH? What makes you think your boys will be freaked out by their foreskin moving?
At their age it will stretch back quite a lot but only reveal maybe a small part of the head. They might show you if you talk to them about it. By the time it retracts fully they won't want you having anything to do with their body full stop so you won't need to worry.
I have never heard of foreskins not retracting, but to be honest mums here don't talk about the state of their son's penises. The only mums I have ever heard discussing it are 3 Americans at our toddler group. Unsurprisingly the other mums thought you only circumcised it if you were Jewish as it had never occured to them for any other reason.
A book to explain a foreskin to a boy who has one of his own is probably not necessary. An intact penis is not wierd, it normal. Lots of folk here have them. Your boys have them and it is normal to them. Are you anxious because it is something that you have no experience of yourself or with your DH? What makes you think your boys will be freaked out by their foreskin moving?
At their age it will stretch back quite a lot but only reveal maybe a small part of the head. They might show you if you talk to them about it. By the time it retracts fully they won't want you having anything to do with their body full stop so you won't need to worry.
I have never heard of foreskins not retracting, but to be honest mums here don't talk about the state of their son's penises. The only mums I have ever heard discussing it are 3 Americans at our toddler group. Unsurprisingly the other mums thought you only circumcised it if you were Jewish as it had never occured to them for any other reason.
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I'm with the PPs on this one. I think boys and girls are born with a basic instruction set already there and we are the only species that is able to figure out the miracle of assisted flight all of the way to the extremes of the solar system and beyond.
I know that afternoon at Sue Ellen Jenkins house many years ago didn't require any instruction from a manual or from either of our parents. Somehow, we just both knew what we were supposed to do with our parts and with each others parts and considering that it was each of our first time, we did it fairly well. Of course, I'm sure we have gotten much better with practice.
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Even though the male is born with the stupid gene, I think this issue is one we can figure out quite well on our own.
Frank
I know that afternoon at Sue Ellen Jenkins house many years ago didn't require any instruction from a manual or from either of our parents. Somehow, we just both knew what we were supposed to do with our parts and with each others parts and considering that it was each of our first time, we did it fairly well. Of course, I'm sure we have gotten much better with practice.
Even though the male is born with the stupid gene, I think this issue is one we can figure out quite well on our own.
Frank
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I don't know tho... I've got an 8yo that dispite being raised in a naked-friendly, openly-discussing-about-everything, heathen home has come to the conclusion that being naked is gross, taking his shirt off in a store parking lot so I can put Bactine on a sunburn is totally humiliating, and that sex is something that hurts women (because of what noises he heard through closed doors
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So between the options of giving him too much information and not enough, I'd rather err on the side of too much info. And him knowing that it's okay to talk to mom about your penis without shame is a bonus too.
Gods only know what other stupid ideas he's gotten into his head from the little jerks that go to his school. Mean little brats tease him now that he smells or smells like pee
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(ironic since he's fastitiously clean) he keeps re-cleaning his back-pack thinking it's because the dog's been laying on it... if he started associating that teasing with someone pointing out his penis looks different... sigh, THAT idea didn't occur to me until just now...
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So between the options of giving him too much information and not enough, I'd rather err on the side of too much info. And him knowing that it's okay to talk to mom about your penis without shame is a bonus too.
Gods only know what other stupid ideas he's gotten into his head from the little jerks that go to his school. Mean little brats tease him now that he smells or smells like pee
So, it sounds like the real issue isn't about foreskin retraction at all. Kids are cruel; if it's not his penis, they'll find something else about him to pick on. Here's something I found on the internet, an article for a boy your son's age, that might help you. http://www.circumstitions.com/Different.html
This website also has other articles for intact boys which help them feel good about themselves. They've been helpful to me in explaining to the boys why they're intact.
Hugs to you!
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I was talking to someone once who was a nudist and who told me something interesting. That was that children who are raised in a nude environment typically develop a sense of modesty at around 7 or 8 years old regardless of what has become normal for them. That is even though they have been to nudist resorts all of their life and have spent their summers nude with friends, at that age they start rejecting that lifestyle and actually start wearing their clothes in those situations although all around them are nude.
I'm not sure what that is all about, whether it is peer influence or something else. Native populations and people of some cultures that do not have the modesty of North Americans seem to have no problem with nudity. Why is it just us and why do the children make such a change? There must be something for a government sponsored psychologist to spend his/her entire career investigating!
Frank
I'm not sure what that is all about, whether it is peer influence or something else. Native populations and people of some cultures that do not have the modesty of North Americans seem to have no problem with nudity. Why is it just us and why do the children make such a change? There must be something for a government sponsored psychologist to spend his/her entire career investigating!
Frank
This is interesting, Frank. It may be because they don't spend all their time in Pagan and/or nudist environments, but are also exposed to more traditional people at school, Grandma's house, etc. They are told when and where they can be naked, and maybe it just gets too confusing for them, so they stay covered up all the time.
Another thing I've noticed is that heterosexual men can't seem to stand the sight of another man naked. My sons hate to see their dad naked. When I was a girl growing up, I saw my mom, sister, and grandmother naked all the time, and it never bothered me a bit, even after I reached puberty. Why is this?
Another thing I've noticed is that heterosexual men can't seem to stand the sight of another man naked. My sons hate to see their dad naked. When I was a girl growing up, I saw my mom, sister, and grandmother naked all the time, and it never bothered me a bit, even after I reached puberty. Why is this?
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LMAO!! My baby boy does the same thing and I have wondered the same thing!! At least that will be clean.
Originally Posted by LadyBug & BabyBug My DS is only 9 months, but his gets plenty clean just from him playing with it in the bath, I don't think I'll have anything to worry about. OTOH, I'm worried that nothing *else* will be washed with the willy getting all the attention! :LOL |
LMAO!! My baby boy does the same thing and I have wondered the same thing!! At least that will be clean.
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