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I'm just curious about this, because I don't know any other parents who have a family bed. My DS, 15mo, is still awake, sitting on my lap, right now at 1045pm. I think I can count on one hand the number of times that he's been asleep, in the bed, by himself, before we've gone to bed. I work overnights 3 nights a week, so our sleep routine is probably on the odd side, but we keep DS up until 11 or 12 when we go to bed, and then we all sleep until 10 or 11 the next day. On nights i work, I leave at 10pm, then come home at 8am, wait until they wake up, then share some cuddle time in the bed and nap after they get up.<br><br>
I feel like I should be putting DS to bed earlier, because, well, everyone else does. But if he's only going to sleep for 11-12 hours in a stretch, I'd rather he wake up when I'm waking up, rather than forcing me to get out of bed two hours earlier, kwim? Am I being selfish? Does it matter? Anyone else have a non-standard sleep schedule?
 

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If you're all sleeping well and happy there's no problem with a late bedtime.<br><br>
I'm fairly sure that in other cultures later bedtimes are the norm. I remember seeing kids (7 or 8 year olds maybe?) playing soccer in the street at 9 at night when I was in Spain. That would be way late here, but everybody does it there and I don't think the entire country is suffering for it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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i take my DD to bed w/ me at 10 usually. she's almost 6 months. lately she'll fall asleep nursing around 9:30. i've tried getting her to sleep earlier but it doesn't work. she naps usually into the early evening in my arms or wrap. and so sometimes she's still awake until i take her to bed at 10.
 

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I put DS to bed around 9 pm and then go to bed whenever I feel like it.
 

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DS goes to bed around 8:30 in his crib and then joins us in our bed at first wake up...anywhere from 11pm to 5am.<br><br>
If what you guys are doing is working for you, I wouldn't worry about it too much - as long as your LO is healthy and happy, that's all that matters.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>aylaanne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13274222"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel like I should be putting DS to bed earlier, because, well, everyone else does.</div>
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I hear ya! DH works early to late. It's unusual for him to be home before 7pm, 8:30pm is not unheard of. If I put my kids (19 mos & 4 yrs) to bed at a "normal" time, they'd never see him!<br><br>
So... we are often all up until Midnight, and then they sleep in. But I often get the incredulous comments from others, "They're still <i>asleep</i>?!! At NOON?!!!" Most people don't call after 9 at night, so they don't get to hear the other side of the story. (= Kids bouncing off the walls at 11!)
 

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Dd never went to bed as a baby before 11:30 or 12<br><br>
Ds is a touch earlier and usually goes down between 9:30 and 10:30<br><br>
-Angela
 

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My DS and I go to bed between 9 and 9:30, but sometimes I let him fall asleep in my lap (while I watch TV on mute) at 7:30, and then he wakes up at 10:30 in time to see Dad when he gets off of work. Sometimes I feel like a bad mama (he should be sleeping in his bed at a set time), but he goes back to sleep at 11:30 and sleeps in until 9:30, so it works for us! I think if we both worked a "typical" 9-5 and put DS in daycare it would be different, but we don't so...oh well! This may come back to bite me in the tuckus when he goes to school, but maybe I'll have DH talked into homeschooling by then!
 

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If everyone is sleeping well with your current sleep routine, then don't change it.<br><br>
It's an unusual occasion that we'd all go to bed together. I like having my adults only time in the early evenings, and we all need to be up by 7:30, so obviously the kiddos need to be in bed no later than 8:30. But I don't need 12 hrs of sleep, and there's no way I'd be ready for sleep at 8pm, so... We've always put our babies to bed in our bed before us, then joined them whenever we were ready. As infants, just nursed in the middle of the bed, well away from the sides, and pulled blankets down. When baby was done nursing & fell asleep, I'd roll away. Still do this with my toddler - he shares a bed with his sister - I lie between them, until they fall asleep, then crawl out & DH & I go to bed whenever.<br><br>
Our bedroom has always been babyproofed, bed all the way on the floor & baby monitor on, so there's no safety concerns. We never used a crib.
 

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My dd goes to sleep with me... around midnight or even a bit later...<br>
Usually she naps (in my arms or on the couch next to me if I'm lucky and she doesn't wake up when I move her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) from about 9-10pm, on and off. I'll usually wait until she wakes up, then change her into her nighttime diaper and maybe some pijamas/comfortable clothes if she's not wearing them already, take her to bed with me, and nurse her back to sleep.<br><br>
Works for us, so far!<br><br>
She sleeps long then in the morning, sometimes until noon, but it's also the time she sleeps "best" : after I get up out of bed, she'll easily sleep 3-4 hours more and I get a lot of laundry/tidying/washing up/paperwork/.. done during those hours so no way am I going to wake her up earlier <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br><br>
I know though... it seems "wrong" somehow to have a baby stay up so late and sleep so long. Just cause it's not the schedule we see as "normal" I guess.<br><br>
But yeah, if it works, why not.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sept15lija</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13281550"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">DS goes to bed around 8:30 in his crib and then joins us in our bed at first wake up...anywhere from 11pm to 5am.</div>
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Same here. Except they are in toddler beds now.<br><br>
If your childs health, saftely, or education is not at risk--take no action!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thank you all for your thoughtful and insightful responses!<br><br>
I'm in a less mainstream community, but some things I do are still weird. I guess I was just looking for some validation.<br><br>
As for adult time, I usually get some on my nights off (DH and DS go to bed around midnight, I'll join them somewhere betweek 4 and 6 am), and DH gets some during the day when DS naps with me. I also try to get him some adult time on my days off by taking DS and going on outings to grammas or to playdates or shopping or wherever. We miss out on some playgroups because they're all at 10am and DS is only sometimes awake by then.<br><br>
My biggest fear, I guess, is changing his schedule around when he goes to school, but I have four years before I have to worry about that, so I suppose I should relax a bit.<br><br>
If anyone else has some info they'd like to share I'd love to hear it.
 

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My DS is 11 months adjusted age, and before he started crawling 2 months ago, we would put him to bed (in our bed) a couple of hours before we went to bed, and then join him later. But once he started crawling, I was too nervous about him being in the bed by himself. (We have a big sleigh bed, and he was trying to climb over the bedrails, etc.) Around the same time (probably because he was learning to crawl) he started to fight going to sleep, and so we let him stay up later.<br><br>
That evolved into our current family bedtime that actually works really well for us. We start DS's bedtime routine (bath, PJs, story, snuggling) between 8:30-9:00, and then we all snuggle in bed together and watch TV until DS signals that he's ready to go to sleep, usually between 9:30-10:00. I nurse him to sleep, and then DH and I talk quietly or watch TV for another hour or so until we both go to sleep. I'm a SAHM, so I don't have to get up early. DS sleeps until about 8:00 am, which is fine with me!<br><br>
I really like our bedtime routine now, because it's so stress-free. There is definitely some structure to it, but it's relaxed and flexible. Bedtime is no longer a battle, and it's such a relief! If what you're doing works for you and your daughter, then keep doing it. :)
 

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If it works for you I wouldn't change it.<br><br>
My babies are in bed very early (6-7pm). But they also wake at 6am when dh wakes for work and the older two dc's wake up so keeping them up until I went to bed would result in less sleep for them and me trying to keep two very loud older kids quiet in the morning.
 

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I need grownup time in the evening. Both kids are in bed by 8:30 or so. DD sleeps in her own room, DS sleeps in his crib in our room. DS will usually join us in bed when he wakes at about midnight. Of course, we are all up by about 6am...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Leisha</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13283274"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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I know though... it seems "wrong" somehow to have a baby stay up so late and sleep so long. Just cause it's not the schedule we see as "normal" I guess.<br><br>
But yeah, if it works, why not.</div>
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Doesn't seem wrong to me at all. What's the difference between sleeping midnight to noon and 7pm to 7am, which many babies seem to do. I think these schedules are fine, though ours is different.<br><br>
I usually nurse DS to sleep by about 8pm in the middle of our bed, surrounded by pillows. He typically wakes and I nurse him back to sleep 2 to 3 times until I join him between 11 and 12. I always mean to go to bed earlier for more sleep, but treasure that baby free time in the evening too much to really make it happen. We awaken between 6 and 7 for the day (after much nursing during the night of course); occasionally I'll change his dipe and get him to go back to sleep for another hour or so. On great days DH is working from home or it's the weekend and he'll take DS for 2 or 3 hours and let me have some alone sleep!<br><br>
DS rolled 360 degrees for the first time on his 5 month birthday two days ago, and I'm starting to think about putting the mattress on the floor, either that or trying to start him out in his crib.
 
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