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My dd is 22 months old. She has been going through a pretty rough phase the last few weeks. I guess it is revelling in her independance. Most of it I have been able to deal with easily.<br><br>
She has always been one to run away in the park or in a store. I chase her down and pick her up and carry her. Now she is starting to run away from me outside. Once this week she ran into the street when her grandmother took her outside to put her in the car. I ran after her and caught her and she giggled about it the whole time. What should I do about this? I am 8 months pregnant I can't run as fast as her and I am afraid she will get hurt. I try to keep my eye or hand on her at all times when we are close to a street, but what can I do if i happens again to let her know it is dangerous and bad. Is telling her no and trying to explain to her why not to do it enough?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sunflower223</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7921107"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am 8 months pregnant I can't run as fast as her and I am afraid she will get hurt. I try to keep my eye or hand on her at all times when we are close to a street, but what can I do if i happens again to let her know it is dangerous and bad. Is telling her no and trying to explain to her why not to do it enough?</div>
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Yes, keep telling her no, and explaining why. However I would also for safety reasons and taking your physical state into account, make sure that she was tethered to you, like a wrist strap for the two of you. I should pass before long though, hang in there! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I second the notion of using a harness or a wrist strap for her own physical safety. She obviously can't be trusted to NOT run into streets, and you're not physically capable of running after her all the time. Definitely keep on teaching her "no street" (keep it really simple for toddlers, they can be in the middle of traffic by the time you finish saying "please don't run into the street, its' dangerous.")<br><br>
Hopefully, in a few months she'll be past that stage and you'll be able to put the harness away- but for now it could literally be a lifesaver.
 

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1. Carry her if you can.<br><br>
2. Use a harness/tether/strap of some sort as a backup safety device.<br><br>
3. Use a stroller.<br><br>
Her safety is above all else.<br><br>
*And of course, keep reiterating the importance of not running in the street.
 

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My DD did this at this age and I was Preg too.....the ONLY solution I found was to make sure she ALWAYS was holding my hand when we were near the street/outside (unless it was fenced in). I just never gave her a choice - she didn't care for it but after about 2 weeks of insisting she hold my hand, she at least would expect me to hold her hand.<br><br>
Now she's 3.5 and this behavior is mostly gone. So your DD will grow out of it. But until then, it is your responsibility to keep her safe. Don't go outside unless you have a plan for how to restrain her (holding hand, putting her in the stroller or carrier). Especially because you can't waddle after her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
HTH<br>
peace,<br>
robyn
 

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I have a 25 month old who does the same thing. I am on the mend from a fractured patella and cannot run after her.<br><br>
The ony thing I can do is insist she hold my hand when we're anywhere near a street or parking lot. She protests often, but it's either that, I carry her, or she's in the stroller. She's bolted from me too often lately...I hate not letting her be free, but I don't want a mushed child.
 

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You could also teach the game "red light green light" to the point of being able to yell "red light" at any time and have her freeze. I used "stop" with my kids but I think red light might be easier to understand and more playful to teach. The idea is to have one absolute "freeze in place" command that you can use when you really need it. It was a life safer for us on a couple of occassions. Of course, that does not mean you can stop insisting that she hold your hand outside, but it gives you some backup.
 

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Practice playing stop & go (red light, green light), and praise her HIGHLY whenever she stops in the game.<br><br>
EVERY TIME you come to a road, say the SAME THING over & over, EVERY TIME: "Hold Mommy's hand when we cross the street". When you're walking in the street, say: "Looking for cars, and holding Mommy's hand". Repitition, repitition... soon she'll be saying it herself.<br><br>
Choose a word or sound, unbeknownst to DD that you will use in an emergency situation - like HALT!! or YIKES!! or EEEK!! and if a situation presents itself to get her attention immediately, using something OTHER THAN no (which kids can tune out), can work to get her attention - since she's never heard it before.<br><br>
Be certain she understands you are SCARED when she runs in the road - not just telling her "no". Practice a scared (not scary) face and voice that you can convey in a necessary moment - and obviously only for use when absolutely necessary. In my experience, I have only had to use that face/voice once in the road, and DD recognized it as so different from my daily reactions, that it had a great effect. I of course, IMMEDIATELY hugged her close, and told her I was so glad she was safe.
 

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Red light, green light is a great game, but it's the long term solution, not the short term one. 20 month old children have a VERY hard time STOPPING an action once they've started. They're better at stopping if they haven't started, but stopping in the middle is very, very difficult until a child is 3. So, until then you've got to be within arms reach.<br><br>
For the short term, I agree that carrying her, strollering her or using a harness is really the only safe option.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks for the advice everyone. I never thought about red light, green light. I do try to hold her or her hand whenever we are out and about. This was a situation where my mother had let dd and her 2.5 year old cousin out the door at the same time and somehow dd snuck under her radar when she turned away to do something for the other child. I came outside at the last minute to see my baby at the end of the drive way.<br><br>
The day before at the park we'd had a lot of trouble with her, not running away or into the street but getting into little crevices in the play system (like lying down flat in the tunnel while a million kids were trying to get through). Then we were involved in a car wreck the day after she ran into the street and at the hospital she ran everywhere and did everything I told her not to do. I have began to realize the word "no", though it is her favorite word to say to me lately, means nothing when it comes out of my mouth.<br><br>
what a weekend....
 

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((hugs))<br><br>
i have one of those harness things that I seem to need around 15-25 months and then the phase is over. I was just hunting for it the other day as my youngling is starting to do the same thing your child is doing - and my older child did it, too.<br><br>
they DO outgrow it! Honest! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Their safety is paramount and so that's why I'm a firm believer in using that harness thing. I've gotten comments about it (some people think it's cruel ??) others think it's great.<br><br>
you do what you gotta do for your family's safety.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>happyfrog</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925714"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">((hugs))<br><br>
i have one of those harness things that I seem to need around 15-25 months and then the phase is over. I was just hunting for it the other day as my youngling is starting to do the same thing your child is doing - and my older child did it, too.<br><br>
they DO outgrow it! Honest! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Their safety is paramount and so that's why I'm a firm believer in using that harness thing. I've gotten comments about it (<b>some people think it's cruel ??)</b> others think it's great.<br><br>
you do what you gotta do for your family's safety.</div>
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People who would dare criticize you in public like that: a. Have no manners. b. Need to mind their own business. I mean, you are not forcing your child on all fours and feeding him/her dog biscuits! You are trying to let him/her have some freedom, while having the device as backup just in case the child bolts suddenly or tears away from your handgrasp. It happens.<br><br>
I believe it is the kindest thing you can do in some situations. Where you have a child who is strong enough to wrench your arm when holding hands, etc. Also, little hands tend to be slick and sweaty after a short while. LOL!<br><br>
I don't think you should rely on it only, but I think that as a backup device, they are great.
 

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+1 for harness thing<br><br>
DS(22m) has a backpack that looks like a Dog and is a harness (he LOOOVES dogs) and when he was a bit younger he would ask for the dog if he wanted to explore. We would tell him that if he wanted to run around near stuff that wasn't safe that we had to help him be safe with the dog. You do get sideways looks, but I am used to that hah I could care less about what they think about how I choose to protect my kids.
 

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I am one of those people who thinks the harnesses are kinda gross <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hide.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hide">:<br><br>
Thanks moms for opening my eyes to why parents make the choice to use them. I usually see them used by seemingly non AP parents that appear to be yanking their children around with them (in a dog lease like manner). But I guess I might really be seeing kids that are runners doing their thing and the parents coping in the best way they can.<br><br>
Something I did with DD when she was in the running away phase was to take her to a nearby botanical garden that had sidewalks in meandering paths. I found it gave DD the ability to exercise her need to "run away" down the path but also gave her the time and space she needed to practice staying close to mommy and listening in a safe environment. The fact that the place was beautiful made it fun for me. I think a park with walking paths would be the same kind of experience. Just an idea.
 

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I use a harness for my little sprinter (20 mos) because I passed on my sling to someone else, but I have heard that you can use a ring sling as one (loop it around their torso, tighten) and that may lower the comments - plus then it's a sling after, -if- that works for you.<br><br>
We are working on it, but it takes time, and we walk in an urban environment a lot - both on streets and in crowds. And he's very short and his arm gets very tired <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Harness, harness, harness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
The "Are harnesses bad" debate becomes entirely moot when it's YOUR kid who is trying to make himself a traffic-pancake.<br><br>
FWIW, we bought DS an adorable monkey back pack. The tail is a strap that you can loop on your wrist. He loves it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter #19
I used to think the harnesses were awful , until I actually had a kid of my own.<br><br>
My dd has one of the backpack harnesses. I don't use it much, but I used it during a carnival this spring and she loved it. She prefers it far more than a stroller. I never have thought about grabbing it just to go outside the house though, I might need to for the remaining month anyway. Hers is a puppy and my nephew has a monkey. They both love the contraptions and they are good for long trips in heavily populated areas.
 

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I think most people are a little eeked out by the harness things, esp the old ones which really could have doubled as dog harnesses. After a few years babysitting a runner, I totally totally got the need for the harness (esp if you have something else that could slow you down - pregnancy, injury, another kid).<br><br>
My own child has been a runner from the time she could walk. She can jerk that little hand away and be off in a blink. We have a little backpack that looks like a monkey. The "tail" loops around my wrist so we are attached to each other. It's not a terribly long "tail" so it's really like holding hands, but with longer arms and without her having her hand up over her head for ages (and really, that has to get uncomfortable, and I suspect that's part of the resistance. That and the irresistable urge to RUN RUN RUN as far and as fast as they can). It's not like I'm "walking" her, it's just something that keeps her within a few feet of me (like maybe two) so she has a bit of freedom. When she becomes a better hand holder or stops running away, we'll lose the monkey.
 
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