If you can get a long piece of cloth (even a twin sheet), there are directions to turn it into a wrap at mamtoto.org. I really like mine for back carries. I just babysat an 11 m.o. and dd (16 mo) had some problems with it as well. I talked him up as a "baby" and gave her her doll so she could parallel play what I was doing with the baby. That worked well, but I'm not sure what I would have done with an older child.