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Discussion Starter #1
I have a cute new little dd, she's now almost 4 weeks old and has a huge sucking need. I'm EBF of course, but can't really bf while sleeping. I have to sit up and use a pillow in bed to nurse. When we finish nursing she usually falls asleep (even before finishing a boob), however when I lay her in her cosleeper, she moves around, grunts a lot and wants to suck again, so we go back and forth, I give her my pinky, and she sucks fiercely until she or I fall asleep again. If it's me who falls asleep first, my hand might move a half inch and she cries if the finger moves a bit down her throat, poor baby.<br>
I'm getting tired of the nightly pinky routine.<br>
I just can't have her live on my boob fulltime, I need breaks, especially at night. Plus I'm a SAHM with a 2.5 yo toddler, who needs me to move around and help her, etc.<br>
I'm thinking about getting her a pacifier... is there a "good" time to start that? She already found her thumb at various times, but lacks the coordination to keep it in. I know pacifiers are controversial, but I'm not exactly sure why.
 

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I started the paci at 3 weeks and it helped a ton until a few weeks ago when my 6 mo just started rejecting it. I just couldn't comfort nurse as much as he needed. If she's nursing well and continues to, I don't think it's a problem.
 

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I'm not too sure either why they are controversial, but my ds used a pacifier for those super sucking days...in fact our lactation consultant said some babies have a really high need to suck and recommended we try the pacifier. He was over-eating and spitting up like crazy because he wanted to suck and suck and suck...<br>
He is 10 months now and every once in a while my dh uses the pacifier to soothe him when my boobs aren't near by, but he doesn't look for it and really is not attached to it at all. I can't quite remember when he stopped using it, but I think he only really needed it for a couple of months.<br>
Oh, one last thing...sometimes he wants to sleep with the nipple in his mouth and when I am exhausted I try to sneak my nipple out and the pacifier in...unfortunately it seldom works, but I do keep it around just in case.<br>
HTH<br><br>
I wanted to add that we had a bunch of different pacifiers and our ds preferred latex over silicone (softer/more flexible) and he like the orthodontic shape (he hated the AVENT)
 

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This is how my DD was and we ended up using a pacifier.<br><br>
The theory is that babies will develop a nipple preference or latch problems, which will affect the breastfeeding relationship negatively. Also, one study suggested that pacifier use correlated with premature weaning.<br><br>
Common advice is to not introduce a pacifier until breastfeeding is "firmly established." Six weeks old is often given as the best time to introduce a pacifier.<br><br>
I believe that we gave DD one at around 4 weeks although I can't really remember. We've never had any problems with the pacifier, but we did have latch problems after DD started taking a bottle regularly while I was at work.<br><br>
I would say that if you are feeling really unhappy and frustrated, offer a pacifier. If you can hold out a few weeks, she'll probably get the thumb-sucking thing figured out and then you won't have to worry about pacifiers.<br><br>
I personally think that bottles pose a much bigger threat because they provide food, but maybe that's just been my personal experience.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I just introduced the bottle with pumped milk this week and she is totally cool with both the nipple and the bottle, she is a very easygoing little baby. Breastfeeding seems established now. So I think a pacifier wouldn't be a problem. She also seems very mature, my mom says she behaves and looks more like a 2 month already. So off I go tomorrow to buy a pacifier!!<br>
HeatherRN, I'm in SF too!<br><br>
Thanks everyone!
 

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I said I would NEVER NEVER use a pacifier. Until DD turned out just like your DD--I remember asking my DH to go out and buy one as fast as he could.
 

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I swore I wouldn't use one and then he latched on for the 1st time...OW!!! He got a paci day 2 and I have been fine with it...he is BF but I just can't bear being his paci...I have Raynauds so my nips are very sensitive
 

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I think now is fine. I had to at like 2 or 3 weeks. Suck was so strong my breasts were cracking and I could not take the constant sucking. Did not mess up his latch. He started to reject it around 3 months old.
 

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why not co-sleep? you are lying down, she is lying down and when she falls asleep you can move her over (I used the blanket she was lying on to move her in order not to wake her). I always fall asleep before she does sometimes and when you have a toddler, you need all the sleep you can get. I'm personally not an advocate for pacifiers esp for breast fed babies. The sucking is just in relation to the immense growth they are going through and they need to suck in order to get all that yummy fatty hind milk.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamamille</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984272"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The sucking is just in relation to the immense growth they are going through and they need to suck in order to get all that yummy fatty hind milk.</div>
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Some babies have a need to suck beyond nutrition - needing to suck 23 out of 24 hours is NOT about growth or getting the hind milk, esp. when the baby over fills, spits up and wants to suck again. And side-lying nursing doesn't work for everyone, nor does sharing a bed...<br><br>
My DS has a need to suck, and we do sometimes fall asleep with my pinky in his mouth. We've tried a pacifier - at 4 weeks, he accepted it but it messed up his latch, and at 8 weeks he'd only accept it after much persuasion. To the OP, I'd say it's worth a try, but be sure to pay attention to her latch to make sure it doesn't get all wonky.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
We do a bit of co-sleeping as well as sleeping with her in the co-sleeper. I'm really happy with how cuddly Romea is in comparison to her older sister, who never wanted to cosleep.<br>
The bed is very small for us, and my dh can't sleep well with Romea in bed. Buying a king isn't an option right now. Plus my hips are still messed up from childbirth and I can only sleep on one side and can barely manage to get up at all, let alone wedged in between her and dh. The pain in my hips is still bad enough to immobilize me. Tonight I tried the side-lying nursing again and Romea has a bad latch that I just can't control when I lay down. It hurts pretty bad when doing side-lying, as she doesn't open her mouth correctly and just grabs the nipple.<br>
Anyhow, I gave her a paci today and she really liked it. I will have to be careful to watch her latch. Does it get "lazy" or how does it show itself, if a paci messes up a baby's latch??
 

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DS2 is a much suckier baby than DS1. I started giving him a pacifier at about 4 or 5 weeks - and it was the first time I could set him down for any length of time (like, 10 minutes). It is working really well for us - he is 14 weeks now. Often he wants to suck but does not want to nurse (and he is spitty). Basically his stomach is full and he gets extremely upset trying to nurse/suck and not wanting more milk. It is also nice because it allows my husband to do some of the suck-soothing.
 

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I swore I'd never use one either. DD learnt how to self soth by sucking on her fist but she was just too loud. She would keep us up all night. I suggest gerber nuk, just the right shape to properly fit their mouths. Good luck MOMMA< things will get better once you feel comfortable nursing on your side. Is there a reaso you don't do that now? When I started we had to prop with some pillows but after time we turned pro.
 

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One of mine was high needs, and I finally put him on a pacifier for my own sanity. It was <b><i>FINE</i></b> for our breastfeeding relationship. HOWEVER I believe strongly that children should give up these things on their own, and well, he used until he was nearly four <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:, so bear that in mind. Good luck tired momma! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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nak<br>
i agree, rather a paci, but no bottles.<br><br>
oh, and i guess, you should figure out the side-lying nursing thing...for your own sanity. good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #16
does anyone have a good tip for side lying nursing at night? As I mentioned, dd just doesn't open her mouth well and just get the nipple and sucks HARD. My nipples are pretty stretched out already from dd1 and my left nipple still hurts from last night.<br>
Because of her hard suck/bad latch I started pumping a bit and she gets a bottle once or twice a day. The pp said no bottle, but why? Is it because of nipple confusion?
 

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I would agree- no bottle right now- nipple confusion or preference is a real danger. I would also worry if her latch is already spotty about the pacifier.<br><br>
As for side lying- do whatever encourages her to open her mouth wide- sometimes doing it yourself and showing her your wide mouth helps, sometimes tickling the bottom lip with the nipple... keep trying.<br><br>
good luck!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Nani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7989938"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">does anyone have a good tip for side lying nursing at night? As I mentioned, dd just doesn't open her mouth well and just get the nipple and sucks HARD. My nipples are pretty stretched out already from dd1 and my left nipple still hurts from last night.<br>
Because of her hard suck/bad latch I started pumping a bit and she gets a bottle once or twice a day. The pp said no bottle, but why? Is it because of nipple confusion?</div>
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I can't remember if you said how big your DD is, but I know I had trouble doing side-lying nursing with my DS when he was that age - he was 6 pounds at birth, and I have big boobs, and things just didn't match up well <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Now I have thrush in my breasts, so we rarely side-lie, but once in a while I've made it work. But I've had to pay attention to get him latched on well.<br><br><a href="http://www.mother-2-mother.com/tut-layingdown.htm" target="_blank">This is a great pictorial</a> on nuring laying down. <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/latch-resources.html" target="_blank">KellyMom.com</a> also has some good tips.<br><br>
You asked how you know if the paci is affecting the latch...with DS, he started "slurping" the nipple instead of opening wide and getting a good mouthful of breast. I attributed it to the pacifier (which we'd used for about 60-90 minutes total in the 24 hours prior to the bad latch showing up)...this was at about 4 weeks old. Again, now that he's older and BF is more established, it doesn't seem to be such a problem, and it might not be a problem at all for you and your DD.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7991366"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would agree- no bottle right now- nipple confusion or preference is a real danger. I would also worry if her latch is already spotty about the pacifier.</div>
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I agree with Angela. A friend of mine introduced a bottle of expressed breastmilk and a pacifier at about 5 weeks of age to her baby girl. At about 9 weeks, baby REFUSED to breastfeed. Would scream at the breast, push away, etc. and thus wasn't eating. But, baby was VERY happy to drink the breastmilk out of her bottle...mom refused to eliminate the artificial nipples, saying baby was just a "picky" baby and tried for a few weeks to unsuccessfully get her back on the breast. Babe is now 5 months and still on bottles now with formula as mom had a difficult time pumping and as such her milk supply dwindled to nothing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> This is the first time I had personally known someone who this happened to and I still get tears in my eyes thinking it all could have been prevented.<br><br>
That being said, my babe was driving me crazy with sucking from about 4 weeks to 9 weeks. I *almost* bought a pacifier, but persevered without it saying to myself that I'd give it just "one more day". And she got through that sucking phase (although it took 5 weeks!). She's almost 8 months now and she has a day/night every now and then where she needs to suck (teething is a good example!), but because it's so rare now, it doesn't bother me a sniff.
 

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One of the reasons paci's are so controversial is that it's really easy to abuse them (use them to shut the baby up, use them to delay feedings, use them too much and end up with low supply) and sucking on anything other than a boob can potentially cause latch issues.<br><br>
That said, my son was a very high-suck babe and I had overactive letdown. For the first three months, he could *not* comfort suck at the breast. I could sit with one hand holding the baby and a finger on the other hand in his mouth, for hours. At that point, the paci wasn't replacing my breast, it was replacing my finger. At night, when we did figure out the side-lying thing, he would latch on and suck enough to get letdown, then FLING his head to the side without unlatching (ouch!), turn back toward me and latch back on, and repeat endlessly. Not fun.<br><br>
For us, the paci was a lifesaver. I always offered the breast first to see if he was hungry, and I kept a very close eye on his latch, and we didn't have any problems. He's 6 months now and will nurse for comfort, and gets the paci only during naps.
 
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