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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, this is new for us. Tonight DD (28 months) was frustrated and threw a book. I reminded her that we don't throw books and she picked up another, looked me in the eye, and threw it too. I tried to keep a sense of humor, but also talked about how we take care of books, etc, and diffused the situation. What do I do next time, and the next...????<br><br>
Thanks!
 

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This may sound drastic but when ds started ripping pages out of books, on purpose, I ended up putting up every single book in the house for a week. No stories at nap or night, nothing. It was hilarious to look around the house, there were piles of books everywhere,on top of the fridge, on top of bookshelves, and a ton in my room. Boy was he happy to have them back, a few at a time, and happy to prove he was big enough to take care of them. The other suggestion is to swap out for something she can throw with permission. Add a replacement idea for the one you're vetoing. Either read the book, or throw the paper airplane...
 

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I agree with the take it away. I think the first time you tell not too and that if they do it again, you will take the books away.<br><br>
I was very consistent about that & letting them know the consequence before they did it again. They tested me, but being consistent helped stop it quickly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Ok, but what about when you can't take it away? Tonight DD was screeching "NO!" and I wanted her to stop, but she wouldn't. How do I get her to stop?<br><br>
Thanks!!!
 

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My ds blows rasperries (like spitting) and I HATE IT especially when he does this to my face.<br><br>
SO when he does it, I get up and walk away and don't interact with him. WHen I do that I say, "I don't like you spitting at me and so I don't want to play-read-sit with you" He usually gets really upset and cries and I go to another room for a couple of minutes. Then I ask him if he's all done spitting to which he replies "yes" and then we play again together.<br><br>
But sometimes, I have to get up several times before he really gets it. sometimes he looks at me ready to spit then won't do it. Then I say, "thank you for not spitting at me"<br><br>
I want him to really get that I have boundaries for things I don't like.<br><br>
He's 27 months.
 

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Our house backs up to a forest and our neighbors are awesome so this works for us. When you can't take an object from them, you can remove the child from a situation, or remove yourself from the child. When DS screams at me I take him to the deck off our playroom and tell him to have at it. Yelling is fine out there but not inside. I totally yuck it up. Come on, louder, you can do it even louder... It often turns funny, but it gets that energy out. He's even seen me go out there and let a blood curdling yell a time or two (mostly for his benefit when we first introduced this concept). However, I really don't like hearing other mom's repeat use your indoor voice, use your indoor voice so I don't say that. As well as, we laugh loud, sometimes we play loud, how's he to know?<br><br>
Other suggestions are to whisper yourself. Don't use a regular voice until she does. She has to get quiet if she wants to hear what you're saying.<br><br>
Turn around and walk away. This very often triggers the follow response. But now you have her attention, even if she's still yelling no. Then is a good time to whisper, and explain you are walking away because you want a quieter space. All that noise is hurting your ears. Would she like to help you find a quieter space? (No blame attatched)<br><br>
The other thing that works so well it's astounding is to sit down close, on her level, make some sort of gentle phsical contact (touch her arm, stroke her hair... ) and talk in a comforting tone like she's not even freaking out. "You have something you want to talk about?, let's work it out, what seems to be the difficulty, maybe Mama can help" Even if it's obvious what the problem is, and you know you're not willing to do what she wants, this type of reassurance can make her feel listened to (people get loud when they don't feel heard), amazingly it calms you down too, and it's easier to come to a resolution.<br><br>
You know your ds best, but here are a few options next time, see which might fit at any given time. Good job!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the great ideas! I knew y'all would have some great suggestions! I tried yelling outside, but it didn't get it out of her system at all! We'll work on it....
 

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when i saw the title of this thread, i thought to myself, "now THAT'S what i want to know". you guys had some terrific suggestions that i am looking forward to trying out with my little ones. some of them i use succesfully, so i know this stuff works. these approaches sure beat yelling, and make a heck of a lot more sense! yay!
 
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