Mothering Forum banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,515 Posts
This may sound drastic but when ds started ripping pages out of books, on purpose, I ended up putting up every single book in the house for a week. No stories at nap or night, nothing. It was hilarious to look around the house, there were piles of books everywhere,on top of the fridge, on top of bookshelves, and a ton in my room. Boy was he happy to have them back, a few at a time, and happy to prove he was big enough to take care of them. The other suggestion is to swap out for something she can throw with permission. Add a replacement idea for the one you're vetoing. Either read the book, or throw the paper airplane...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,515 Posts
Our house backs up to a forest and our neighbors are awesome so this works for us. When you can't take an object from them, you can remove the child from a situation, or remove yourself from the child. When DS screams at me I take him to the deck off our playroom and tell him to have at it. Yelling is fine out there but not inside. I totally yuck it up. Come on, louder, you can do it even louder... It often turns funny, but it gets that energy out. He's even seen me go out there and let a blood curdling yell a time or two (mostly for his benefit when we first introduced this concept). However, I really don't like hearing other mom's repeat use your indoor voice, use your indoor voice so I don't say that. As well as, we laugh loud, sometimes we play loud, how's he to know?

Other suggestions are to whisper yourself. Don't use a regular voice until she does. She has to get quiet if she wants to hear what you're saying.

Turn around and walk away. This very often triggers the follow response. But now you have her attention, even if she's still yelling no. Then is a good time to whisper, and explain you are walking away because you want a quieter space. All that noise is hurting your ears. Would she like to help you find a quieter space? (No blame attatched)

The other thing that works so well it's astounding is to sit down close, on her level, make some sort of gentle phsical contact (touch her arm, stroke her hair... ) and talk in a comforting tone like she's not even freaking out. "You have something you want to talk about?, let's work it out, what seems to be the difficulty, maybe Mama can help" Even if it's obvious what the problem is, and you know you're not willing to do what she wants, this type of reassurance can make her feel listened to (people get loud when they don't feel heard), amazingly it calms you down too, and it's easier to come to a resolution.

You know your ds best, but here are a few options next time, see which might fit at any given time. Good job!
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top