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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 2 1/2 y.o. and I go to school/work together & eat lunch together every day. When we get home, my 6 mos. old is exhausted and hungry. She wants to nurse and sleep.

Oftentimes, my 2 1/2 yr old keeps waking the baby up, by yelling, poking, climbing over, snuggling, anything. We easily get stuck in teh cycle of putting baby to sleep & baby waking up for the whole evening. My husband is at work, so I can't take the baby into the bedroom alone.

I start out being very patient and creative (at least I think so) with my older child, but by the end of each night the baby's upset, I'm upset & I lose my patience. The minute I lose my patience, the lights go off and everyone sleeps.

So this is a raunchy cycle, and I'd like to break it. It's possible that I'm handling the sibling thing miserably because I was an only child.

When teh baby is awake, the older babe likes to poke her and make her laugh, which is great, except that teh laughter and poking increase until the poking hurts & the baby cries and we revisit 'gentle touches'.....
 

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I don't have any direct suggestions, except to ask how your DD gets to the baby if you are with her? Can you not just stop her from going into the baby's room?

Also, the book "siblings without rivalry" has lots of great suggestions about stuff like this.

Your DD obviously has some feelings about baby, and these should probably be figured out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
The girls share a room, but niether really uses it for much.

What happens is this:
I come home, and both girls are tired and hungry. So I get dinner on the table and we sit down. When the baby is ready, I nurse her while my older daughter and I eat dinner. Once she's sleeping, I put her on the couch next to me. That way I can watch her and know she won't roll off. She has a crib, but I've never used it, and I don't want her to fall off the family bed while napping when we're not up there. So she essentially naps right in the middle of any action. My husband believes I should use the crib.

The thing is that I don't know how tired she is when I get home, so I can't tell if she'll nurse and play or nurse and sleep until I see if she closes her eyes while nursing.

I thought dd's feelings toward her sister were completely normal/natural? She loves her, loves to see her laughing and happy, wants to hold her, but also feels jealous and a little malicious.

Is the book written in outline format? Maybe I should check it out.
 

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Ah, now I get it. I did the exact same thing with my DD (had her sleep on the sofa next to me).

I do think your child's behaviour IS totally normal, but that doesn't mean that there aren't feelings or issues behind her behaviour which, though also totally normal, can be dealt with directly, rather than just trying to get her to stop hitting the baby, etc.

The book is not in outline format, but it is a very easy read, has some cute cartoons that really help illustrate the basic message, and also deals with dozens and dozens of specific "real life" situations (such as the older sibling hitting or disturbing the baby) with great examples of how to deal with them. I truly love this book, have read it twice, and will be getting my own copy for when my son is born.
 

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I am not sure if you are comfortable with using the crib at all but I know a mother who has brought the crib to the living room area (it sits out of the way toward the hallway behind the couch) this way you can have some one on one time with toddler and know baby is right there as well.
I hope you do find something to try
 
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