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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Last night we didn't get DD (28 mos) ready for bed early enough. We were dealing with a time change, getting back in town, etc and she got over-tired way before we thought she would. So the bedtime routine was a disaster. She wouldn't get books, wash face, etc. She screamed "NO!" at us and was really cranky. She did all kinds of things that we'd usually not tolerate, but I just let most of them slide since I felt like it was my fault that she was overtired. I just tried to keep things moving so that we could get her in pajamas and off to sleep. I guess I feel like it's pointless to try to work on behavior with a totally overtired kid. Am I too lenient? What do you do when you set your kid up like that (miss bedtime, run them too ragged with errands, etc)? Thanks!
 

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I had a situation happen that made me feel I'd "set her up for failure", too.<br><br>
We have a whiteboard for DD (uses those wipe-off pens). I made her the mistake of showing her how the pens work on the whiteboard, and at first it was great watching her "draw", but of course she then wanted to roam all over the room with the pen in her hand, and the second I put the lid on she would screech and cry and wail. She simply was not able to understand the complexities of "yes you can draw here, no you can't draw there", and to make it worse she wasn't even trying to draw on other things, but just holding the pen as she went around the house playing with other things. If she accidentally got it on the carpet or furniture my mother would have a fit. After repeatedly putting lids on, having her wail in frustration and misery, then taking the lid off thinking "I'll just follow her around" then tiring of that, putting the lid back on....<br><br>
Well, I soon just felt like the world's worst mother. I was being completely inconsistent (I value consistency in my discipline SO much) and totally unfair to DD. I was seeming to "reward" her for screeching and crying, I was giving it then taking it away repeatedly...ugh. It was awful.<br><br>
So what did I do? I put those pens away where she can't find them, held her while she cried that last time I took them away, gave her lots of love and nursies, and apologized to her. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and move on. I learned a big lesson that day about not being Perfect and just having to deal with it. I ate my humble pie, and hopefully I'm a better mama for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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You were not too lenient in that situation, you are a wise mama for not expending the energy when ds wouldn't even recieve it. The best place for an over-tired child is in bed. Learn from that moment and try to avoid it again. You did the right thing. If you would have tried to correct every thing she did wrong and 'teach' her the right way, you would have been up all night.
 

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I have found that when kids are overtired, no discipline really works anyway. They are in a space of just melting down. I too, just keep things moving as quickly & easily as possible. There are other times when they are clear about the choices they are making that require discipline, overtired is not the time.<br><br>
Also, as my kids get older, if I have set them up for disaster, I acknowledge it to them as a mistake on my part. It's good for them to know I'm human too!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the kind reassurances. I think that DD has a little cold, so she's fussier than usual, and bedtime is creeping up a little earlier than normal too. I can be so thick sometimes. Duh!
 

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I agree with everyone. I just wanted to add that I try to say something like, "Oh you must be tired. Mommy sometimes gets cranky/yells/etc. too when she gets tired. Let's just get you in bed." That way she knows why I am ignoring her "misbehaviors."
 
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