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I looked up postpartum depression and it seems that most of the symptoms are how I feel. When I brought this up to my husband he didn't seem to care, he just tells me to smile every day day and everything will be better. That I'm just being a negative person. I'm to embarrassed to tell my family how I'm feeling. So I'm at a loss right now. I just want to cry everyday, I can't sleep anymore, I don't know if I love my husband anymore. I don't know if I should be consulting with a doctor or what kind of Doctor. I do t want to call my I fun , since it's a guy and he's not a very nice one either. Any advice from other mommas? I feel like I have no family support and don't know where else to turn.
 

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Yes, you need to see a doctor. Generally you would start with your GP but if you don't have a good relationship with him then maybe you could find someone else. Do you have friends who you could ask for a recommendation? Are you in America? If so then maybe your gynaecologist instead if like him/her? Or a nurse practitioner. They tend to be better at interpersonal skills.

They need to refer you to a psychologist. They also need to discuss whether medication might be useful for your specific circumstances.

You may find it easier to talk to your family after you've seen a doctor. Then you can say "My doctor says I have postnatal depression." rather than having to try to describe what you're feeling.

You could also try googling postnatal depression support services in your area. I am in Australia so unfortunately I can't tell you what is available where you are.

However, what I can tell you is that there *is* help available and there *are* people who can help you. You're going to be ok Mama. Well done for taking the first step.


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Don't think your abnormal

Guys probably aren't experiencing parenting the same way. For one thing, the baby is produced from you, by you, and if you are breastfeeding then you are also the sole source of food for the baby meaning you are physically creating the food and must be present day or night to feed the baby. It's exhausting. On top of all that it's likely the mom who will end up with big gaps in the resume, who will most likely be the one to work part time or take on less work outside of the home while being expected to pick up all the domestic tasks. This can mean a big disruption in how you identify yourself, in how you will achieve life goals, in the relationship you have with your husband, your pre-existing friendships etc. See if you can get help, sometimes even a walk in clinic might be the answer if you need a medical referral. Go to community centres, go to parks, meet other moms. I'm not sure how it worked but I think as a community service, I was grouped together with a bunch of other moms who had also just given birth. We didn't all have a lot in common but it was a social outlet, and we could all share experiences with each other. I did not have any family with babies, and no friends with babies. My midwife was a lifesaver as well, a good source of realistic information and an adult human to talk to. I know somebody told me about a post partum depression group at a local hospital I could go to, I was so exhausted after my son was born I was hallucinating. When my son was a year old, I met another mom at a public library program whom I became very close to, like a second family. You really need to build a little safety net, a little community. Post partum depression is very real, take care of yourself.
 

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I looked up postpartum depression and it seems that most of the symptoms are how I feel. When I brought this up to my husband he didn't seem to care, he just tells me to smile every day day and everything will be better. That I'm just being a negative person. I'm to embarrassed to tell my family how I'm feeling. So I'm at a loss right now. I just want to cry everyday, I can't sleep anymore, I don't know if I love my husband anymore. I don't know if I should be consulting with a doctor or what kind of Doctor. I do t want to call my I fun , since it's a guy and he's not a very nice one either. Any advice from other mommas? I feel like I have no family support and don't know where else to turn.
You need an authority figure to tell your husband that what you're experiencing is not at all unusual and that just "smiling" or maintaining a "positive" attitude won't help. I try not to generalize about men but they do seem to sometimes need to hear something from an authority figure.

I had a hormonal panel done and my nurse practitioner said "with hormone levels like this you could say a hundred positive affirmations a day and you'd still feel like crap." This was strangely reassuring.

If you're wondering if you still love your husband it's quite possible that you will feel better about him when he starts showing some understanding. I don't know him so I can't really say but he's probably trying to help when he suggests that you smile. Try to bear that in mind. You've been very generous not to have kicked him in the nuts and then told HIM to smile. Seriously.

This absolutely will pass. Lots of us have postpartum depression, ranging from mild to severe.
 
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