Mothering Forum banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My friend J and I help each other out by watching each others kids when needed. We are both SAHMs and our 5 yo DSs are best friends. J and I babysit for each other for things like doctors appts, never anything more than a couple hours. We keep things fair so when I take care of her DS she will have my DS over within a week so I can run errands or have some downtime. Last week she took care of my DS for 6 hours, and I really want to pay her since it is above and beyond our usual babysitting. I'm in an intense program at school right now and wouldn't be able to repay her by babysitting her DS for over a month. I told her I wanted to pay her and to tell me her "rate", but she is too nice to do that! I don't know what to give her that wouldn't be insulting or over-the-top. They are not poor, but like most one-income families every $ helps. Any suggestions?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,618 Posts
I don't pay in that situation, nor would I expect to be paid. Reciprocate when you can.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12,662 Posts
I have a friend that I trade baby sitting with. Frankly I have watched her kids 5 times as many hours as she has watched mine. But really I don't mind. Our kids are friends, we are friends. I would never take $$ from her. if you can't watch her kid for a month or three months or whatever I'm guessing it's fine with your friend.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,573 Posts
If the kids are good friends I wouldn't worry about paying, just watch her DS the next time you can. They probably just played together the whole time anyhow <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
366 Posts
Maybe you could buy her a Starbux card or something <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,086 Posts
I have a friend I trade babysitting with. If I end up stopping for coffee on the way back I'll grab her one too or it's been more than an hour or two. The one time I watched her daughter for 6 hours she got me a bottle of premade margaritas <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> So we pay in coffee and alcohol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,116 Posts
I have a neighbor whose kids are grown, and she wants to pay me to let her babysit DS! Of course, I don't let her do that, and I always feel like I should reciprocate somehow, but she gets mad if I suggest it. So I do little things like bake or buy a little plant and leave it in her yard so there's no confrontation. (She scolds me later, but it's too late...)<br><br>
I also go out of my way to help out with her dog when she needs someone to check in if she's working late, etc. So it all comes out in the wash, basically.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,618 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Honey693</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15435931"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So we pay in coffee and alcohol.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
My kinda deal!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,122 Posts
I would just give a gift card, or make her muffins or something. Or a trader joes gift basket with breakfast items (scones juice yogurt coffee, etc).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,748 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Honey693</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15435931"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have a friend I trade babysitting with. If I end up stopping for coffee on the way back I'll grab her one too or it's been more than an hour or two. The one time I watched her daughter for 6 hours she got me a bottle of premade margaritas <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> So we pay in coffee and alcohol.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
My kind of payment. Sounds like us... we have a lot of childless friends who BEG to babysit DS. They don't want payment, but we feel cheap not giving them anything. So we usually send them home with a six-pack of homebrew Or, for those who live in drinking-prohibited villages and come to our house in the non-dry community to drink, we put a post-it note with their name on a six pack for the next time they're here. Or we all just sit around and drink the six-pack together. It varies.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,792 Posts
I have a friend I trade babysitting with, and a couple times she's gone above and beyond the simple trade. Homebaked goods and meals can be a good way to repay that debt. Prepared food makes her life easier, frozen meals can be pulled out on a rough day, and homebaked or canned goods are just yummy treats.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,952 Posts
I would just bake something. I have some friends that I can call up and ask them to take my kid(s) because I need to do something. We don't keep track because in the end it doesn't matter, I might have a bad month or year and need more help and then it is the same on their end.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,164 Posts
I would definitely pay in goods or services, not cash.<br><br>
After my DD was born a good friend did a TON of stuff for us (still is, actually). Her mom and DH were both willing to take a day off work to babysit their son so that she could attend my birth. She brought me tons of food. She brought me lunch many days. She generally kept me company. Not to mention that she lent us most of her DS's baby gear. She also did my pregnancy photography.<br><br>
I couldn't put a price on most of that stuff. Obviously once we are going out to dinner more often I'll pay for her dinner sometimes. But as far as an immediate thing I put together a picnic basket for them. I got a basket, filled it with natural snacks for her DH, some natural orange soda, a whole foods gift card, and a bottle of wine. I figured they could all go do a family picnic.<br><br>
It went over very well. And they enjoyed their picnic.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,942 Posts
that happened with my neighbor and i. i bought her a gift card for a mani/pedi and arranged to watch her ds while she went. she was surprised, but it was the kind of thing that was worth way more to her than what it cost me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,237 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Honey693</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15435931"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have a friend I trade babysitting with. If I end up stopping for coffee on the way back I'll grab her one too or it's been more than an hour or two. The one time I watched her daughter for 6 hours she got me a bottle of premade margaritas <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> So we pay in coffee and alcohol.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yup! That's the deal I have with my SIL. I'll buy her a caramel latte, she'll bring me a six pack that we'll share. You know...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,986 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Peony</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15437348"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would just bake something. I have some friends that I can call up and ask them to take my kid(s) because I need to do something. We don't keep track because in the end it doesn't matter, I might have a bad month or year and need more help and then it is the same on their end.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
This is how we do it also. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
521 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
Thanks for all the replies! I think she would really like some kind of special treat like coffee or a margarita. I know I would! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top