yesterday, my sister found out that she lost her baby (11 weeks along). today is her birthday and i want to call her to say happy birthday but i'm clueless about what to say about her loss. we are both very introverted and i know i would be devastated. any suggestions?
what to say: sister's loss and her birthday
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I would call & basically just tell her how sorry you are that it happened and how awful it is that was is so close to her birthday. I would not tell her "happy birthday." There's nothing happy about today.
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And ask her if she's okay; if she wants to talk about it; and if there's anything you can do or get for her. If she says no, offer something specific (like comfort food) that you could bring.
That's what I would have preferred. But everyone is different and you know your sister better than I do. Obviously.
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That's what I would have preferred. But everyone is different and you know your sister better than I do. Obviously.
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M/c's are horribly isloating b/c no one ever knows what to ay. So just say something. Say you're sorry, that you don't know what to say. And if you live close offer to bring her food so she doesn't have to cook. She may want to talk about exactly what's going on with her physically. She may be scared about the actual m/c or d&c - so just listen. Don't say it was for the best, there was something wrong with the baby, she can have more babies, etc...just listen.
Originally Posted by no5no5  I would call & basically just tell her how sorry you are that it happened and how awful it is that was is so close to her birthday. I would not tell her "happy birthday." There's nothing happy about today.
That's what I would have preferred. But everyone is different and you know your sister better than I do. Obviously.
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M/c's are horribly isloating b/c no one ever knows what to ay. So just say something. Say you're sorry, that you don't know what to say. And if you live close offer to bring her food so she doesn't have to cook. She may want to talk about exactly what's going on with her physically. She may be scared about the actual m/c or d&c - so just listen. Don't say it was for the best, there was something wrong with the baby, she can have more babies, etc...just listen.
I'm sorry your sister is going through this! 11 weeks is when I lost my last pg, and it was a bit rough for a while. A call would be great as pp's have suggested. This thread also has some great suggestions: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=130836
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