I respond that it is not my way and comment a little on what I have found to be effective. I don't get preachy because if I really want to encourage someone that will lose them immediately. When someone comes straight at us our tendency would be to close them off and get defensive. Nothing is accomplished that way. Just like if I came charging at my toddler yelling or hitting about some mistake in a non-GD way. He is going to resist or not learn as well as my compassion and empathy will teach him. Same with adults most of the time.