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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been practicing (exercising) various labor positions. Squatting, birth ball, etc. It feels good on my muscles, and I feel stronger in those positions. Turns out my doctor does not allow any position besides semi-sitting. He says he has "procedures" to do down there. Whatever. So what would happen if I just didn't do what they want? We are having a hospital birth because I have some heart and lung problems that can easily spiral out of control if I have even a slight immune response (as I have with the whole pregnancy), so at home is not really a safe option for me.

I mean, I think I can empower myself to push in any position that works for me...but it got me thinking...just what if I don't do what they want? Just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Thanks!
Kimberly
 

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Find a different care-giver. This one is asking for trouble. They can not MAKE you do anything. You can refuse EVERYTHING they ask. However, many women are not good at fighting in labor.

-Angela
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna
Find a different care-giver. This one is asking for trouble. They can not MAKE you do anything. You can refuse EVERYTHING they ask. However, many women are not good at fighting in labor.

-Angela
I agree. Find a different provider who is more inclined to support your desire to birth in the way you want. Sorry you're risked out for homebirth, but you can try to make it as good an experience you can by getting the type of care you want and deserve. You've got to remind these doctors that you are their EMPLOYER!!! You HIRED them. You PAY them by choosing them, and that if you find something that you don't like about their service that you PAY for, you are fully capable of FIRING them and HIRING someone who will give you the experience you want.
 

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When I pulled myself up to a squat in the stirrups, kind of teetering like, the doctor tried to push me down and almost knocked me onto the floor. As far as "procedures" to down there, he is probably talking routine episiotomy so I would try to find another doctor pronto. He does not seem to have much respect for your body or birth and only seems to be concentrating on what will make his job easier. This can spiral out of control to induction, pit, AROM, anything to make you have the baby on his time schedule. I can understand you wanting to have the babe in the hospital, but that does not mean you should let yourself be disrespected and ordered around. This is your body, your baby, your birth. He does hundreds a year, you get one bite at the apple, if things go wrong for you it will bother you a lot longer than it will him.
 

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Second that on finding a different care provider. It's not like your OB is the heart/lung specialist so as long as you're in the hospital (and your's is one of the few cases where *I'd* have a hospital birth) and your care person knows what's going on, there's no reason for you not to have a CNM or family practioner.

The other people to work with are the nurses. Most hospital birth descriptions I've read, the OB isn't even there except for the pushing part.

Get a doula even if you get a new practitioner who has a brain about postioning.

Oh, and after you have someone else, I'd write your old OB a letter saying that you are no longer continuing under his care because he feels that his procedures are more important than the safety of you and your baby. If you do have to stay with this person, you might have a more politely phrased discussion where you ask what the "procedures" are and what purpose they serve and "thank you for sharing, that was very informative and I understand where you are coming from, now. However, I respectfully decline all of those procedures, do you have a form I can sign or should I write you a letter?"
 

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they can't really strap you down to the bed, but i agree with the pps, change before the birth so you dont have to fight in your labor.

that being said, yo ucan sit on the birthball or chair etc, and they arn't exactly about to call security to strap you onto a bed.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
there's no reason for you not to have a CNM or family practioner.

Get a doula even if you get a new practitioner who has a brain about postioning.
I agree! Can you find a hospital based midwife or family doctor that will take you on as a client?

I don't think that its a matter of bullying in all cases. Most OBs just aren't trained to deliver a women in any position other than prone or side lying.
 

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i would get a different care provider!!!
my hosoital with ds was this way. it was not fun....
i also recommend reading birthing from within by pam england.
no-you dont have to do what they want but you will be at a vulnerable state and they do not have to be nice to you- and may not. is this really a time for a woman about to bring a life into this world to be arguing?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kimclark
He says he has "procedures" to do down there.
Like hell he does. Get out of that practice and find someone who doesn't have intentions to chop up your perineum...sorry for the graphic language. I highly suggest seeking out a compassionate midwife, and in your specific case a CNM who has physician backup since you have special medical issues.
 

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They can lie to you and bully you, and you will likely be in the most vulnerable state of your life- I was, as much as I had prepared to defend myself.

For example, I was lied to(frantically told baby's heartrate was dropping) to get me to lie down(which was excruciatingly painful). My friend was a natural birther at the same hospital and they refused to support her perineum(she had 3rd degree tearing).
: Around here, "natural birther" seems to be synonymous with "difficult patient" and they seem to stop at nothing to get you to submit to their protocol.

Find a different doctor(giving birth with that one would be a nightmare), and have a doula. I would search for ratings and recommendations for the best hospital to give birth at, and the best doctor to have, and do everything within your power to maximize your chances of having a fabulous hospital birth.
 

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I agree with what everyone else has said here about getting a new care provider and a doula. As a doula, though, I can tell you that your DH or DP is your best defender during childbirth. A laboring woman has enough going on without being involved in conflict. Make sure your partner is clear about your preferences and willing to fight for you. And have a birth plan. One hospital in our area is required to follow birth plans except in the case of a true emergency. Nurses and even docs get in big trouble for bullying people into interventions that go against the birth plan.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thank you for all of your helpful replies! Maybe in hindsight it doesn't matter, since I went in to labor early last night, before I got the chance to check back! Right now, my plan is to stay home as long as possible. You are right, I don't want to be fighting or arguing...
Thanks!
Kimberly
 

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Kim, congrats, hope you are ok, when you are at the hospital just don't let em bully you into anything, just shut out their bullying stuff and birth in whatever position you choose while calmy telling them that this is what you want,over and over if ness,there is no need for you to waste your precious energy fighting them,their postion is unimportant yours is,if this is your first be prepared for possible endless bullying tactics to wear you down and conform to their demands, this is never a good thing for mom,what they do if you just don't do what they want is just keep hassling you of course with any luck you will get a human-being not a clone who will listen to you it's worth hoping for, you can do it girl! sending good vibes your way
 

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you could always tell them i am religiously opposed to birthing in that position.......that may get them off your back


good luck!! thinking good labor vibes for you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Is this bed Kosher? Better get a Rabbi in here or I won't be able to use it! They wouldn't understand, which is why it would work! I love it!
Kimberly
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kimclark
Is this bed Kosher? Better get a Rabbi in here or I won't be able to use it! They wouldn't understand, which is why it would work! I love it!
Kimberly
:

Remember, at any point you can ask for a different care provider or hospital staff to attend you. It sounds like you have prepared yourself intuitively for the birth you want.
Once you get to the hospital, I would just say to anything they ask "Thanks for the suggestion, but it feels better for me to squat/walk/whatever".
Also, mentioning religious preferences really does work, as a Doula I have used it a few times and I believe hospital staff are not "allowed" to ask you for a clearer definition.
If you are still at home, you can quickly type up a mini 'birth plan' stating simply "Please do not perform any interventions on me at any stage during labour or birth without prior discussion with me and my partner, and obtaining permission from both of us".
Do not let them bully you into any interventions under any circumstances that you would rather they not perform.
Good luck, and happy birthing vibes! Keep us posted!
 
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