Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 43 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
621 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay here is the deal we are poor...totally completely 100% poor. We have a very hard time making our basic bills every month but have been blessed with our church helping out with our house payment. We dont ever have anything left over at the end of the month, and I am not kidding about this at all...not 5 bucks. I started babysitting months ago to help out and it has helped a bit, however with #3 we do want to have the extra kids gone as it has caused major problems with my kids. Anyway I am seeing a HB midwife whom I love and I have been putting off other bills to pay her the $300 a month (with the babysitting money). I qualify for medicaid and did see a nurse midwife early in pregnancy but wanted a VBAC (not allowed in my area at all!!) so choose the HB route. We are at a point that we could really really use the 300 we pay the midwife for other things and I am beginging to feel guilty that I am make our financial situation that much worse by doing a homebirth. I know that my health and the baby should come over finances but at this point the stress level in this house over finances is causing health problems. I feel like no matter what choice I do we get screwed no matter what.<br><br>
What do I do? Do I go with the CNM and get another (3rd) c-section and deal with all that entails because well its free (to an extent)? Do I stay with the midwife and just kill our credit even more by not paying bills?<br><br>
What would you do????
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
995 Posts
We're also planning an eventual home birth that we really cannot afford.<br><br>
Is there anything else you can do to offset the costs? Would you ever consider UBAC?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
233 Posts
Have you spoken with the midwife about the situation? Can you barter part or all of your bill? (babysit for free, your DH could do house repairs) In my state all insurance must cover homebirth, even medicad. You might check into it!!<br>
GL mama!<br>
nak<br>
Mel
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
722 Posts
Are you sure there are no homebirth midwives in your area that except medicaid? I know that many states (including mine) require medicaid to cover homebirth. Or maybe if you talk to your MW about your financial situation she can work out a deal with you.<br><br>
That said, I am poor too, and would probably pay out of pocket for a midwife if it was at all doable if that was the only way for me to have a homebirth. A good birth experience is a very important thing IMO.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,798 Posts
Hey, maybe you could barter with a hb mw to keep her records,files,put together kits,or even attend births?I bet you could come up with a good barter with about any hb mw.I say do it.a birth is forever,and you and your baby derserve the BEST!Our last birth,we finnished paying 8 mo. after with our tax return!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
I'd find a way to make the midwife work or UC- that's what *I'd* do.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,191 Posts
I would really try to find a way, too. My midwife bills medicaid for prenatals for women on it - could you at least do that with her and then work out a deal to cover what they don't? Is there anything else you can do with your church to help with covering it? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,325 Posts
I'd discuss fees with the midwife. Most have a sliding scale based upon income and ability to pay.<br><br>
I can't imagine a midwife who attends home births turning a client away to get a c-section because the family couldn't afford to pay $300/month.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
319 Posts
We were in a similar situation, surprise pregnancy, medicaid eligible but absolutely no extra money (3 kids already). I wanted to HBAC with a midwife but it was just impossible financially, and we tried to UBAC, but I ended up going to the hospital and ended up with another c/s despite my efforts. Some birth centers accept medicaid, and if I could do it over I would have chosen that as an alternative.<br><br>
We have decided to save up the money for a homebirth midwife before we ttc again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,445 Posts
I'd do anything to avoid a hospital experience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I feel blessed that I've found UC is my thing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,491 Posts
1. try to work something out with the midwife.<br><br>
I imagine if you are that poor (and we are too! haven't had $1 at the end of the week for YEARS!! I totally get that you aren't even mentioning this unless you are nearly starving) you will be expecting earned income credit back come February.<br>
Can she trust you to do post dated checks? Try to barter, ask for help from family if possible. See if the MW will work with you doing fewer appts with her. My mw agreed to 1 every 6 weeks, and charged us $50 per appt. I knew enough and she knew I knew enough to be comfortable with that. I did my own prenatals weekly. Possibly a student midwife could do your prenatals and would charge less? Personally, prenatals aren't hard and a observant mama knows what's going on before the mw does.<br><br>
2. I totally think the midwife/homebirth is worth it. You will not be in this financial place forever. pregnancy is only a few months, but if you need the peace at home--then you compromise<br><br>
3. I'd compromise and see the covered CNM for the remainder of the pregnancy for prenatal care, and either:<br>
a) UC<br>
b)labor in the parking lot and enter the hosp. crowning<br>
c)see if the MW will attend the birth at a rate I could afford, after doing prenatals with the CNM<br>
(listed in the order I personally would be comfortable doing things)<br><br>
4. no, I would never choose a repeat section without a medical reason. A former C is not a reason.<br><br>
5. spnd the rest of your pregnancy fighting for insurance to cover it. The more voices they hear....
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,072 Posts
I would talk to your mw about alternative payment arrangements or UC, honestly. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,641 Posts
I'm paying my midwife with our tax returns this year. I'm also on medicaid and they refused to cover my midwife. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
Can you see if you can pay with tax returns? atleast part of it?<br>
I know its hard, but I would do everything in my power to get the birth you want <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
For me this is not a 'what would you do' but a 'what DID you do" because I was in the same exact situation.<br><br>
Okay not identical, like we don't have a house payment but the gist is the same. I'm on medicaid and they would pay for my prenatal care but not the homebirth fee, which was 1800. The midwife was willing to discount 500 of that because she's frickin marvelous, but we still couldn't afford it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">.<br><br>
So I went to a local OB. I hated his guts (<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) from the first visit but when he started prescribing me class D beta blockers for a headache I decided that was enough. We're going to UC.<br><br>
I know this is a terrible place to be in, and a terrible decision to make. I was just sick over it for days. I feel a lot of peace with our decision, and thankfully I don't have to stress over it anymore. I hope you can find that soon, too. Keep us posted!<br><br>
M
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
621 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks everyone...you all echoed exactly what I was thinking too. I think I was hoping that someone would say "be responisble and pay your bills." That would be the ultimate guilt and I wouldnt have as hard a choice to make! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Thanks for saying what you did.<br>
I am going to call the mw today and talk with her but honestly I dont think it will work. When I first talked to her she was pretty adament about her fee. I dont have a lot of options because she is one of only a handful in my entire state. Medicaid will not pay for homebirth here whatsoever no cover prenatals uless it is with my primary care physician. blah blah blah. Anyway I will call her and see what happens.<br>
If anything I will jsut keep repeating my mantra "its only 3 more months, its only 3 more months."<br>
I mentioned the UC to option to dh, LOL that was great and an absolute no! it was quite entertaining really, plus its not something I totally feel comfortable with anyway.<br>
Thanks for you thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,101 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JanetF</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9917713"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd do anything to avoid a hospital experience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I feel blessed that I've found UC is my thing.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,697 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>caitlinsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9920805"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think I was hoping that someone would say "be responisble and pay your bills."</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I SO feel your pain mama; we're in the same situation financially. November rent isn't even paid and there are tons of bills pilling up, ruining my credit. I work in the banking sector where your credit rating is EVERYTHING, so it puts a lot of pressure on me. I had declared bankruptcy years ago to put myself on the path to better credit and hopefully, someday, owning a house. I'd even paid it all off and was on my way, but this pregnancy, DH's recent illness, my lack of work for a month, the move to a new city, all contributed to bringing my credit back in the R9 section (the "Bad BAD girl, you're a FAILURE 'cause your credit sucks" rating). But you know what, who cares? We're still going to fork out the 800$ for a doula (since there's no option to HB here) and have the birth we think we deserve.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,376 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I hope something works out for you. I'm so thankful that our midwife is accepting what our insurance pays her and we didn't have to pay anything upfront. I don't know what I would have done.. I know I'd be stressed out just like you are now.<br>
Try to put your feelers out there and see if there are any other local mamas who might have suggestions or resources for you. And if that doesn't work out, hopefully she will let you pay some of the fee after the birth, around tax return time. I would hope she's willing to work with you.. Good luck, mama!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,491 Posts
We are in the same situation as you are- $0 left over at the end of the month and I'm not even paying ALL of our bills (credit cards and such).<br><br>
I talked to our homebirth midwife about our situation and she cut down her fee and also we made arrangements to not pay anything until we received our income tax refund (see I told you we're poor, we're so poor we get all of our tax money back!). I think this is something you really should tell your midwife about (not just in terms of "we are having a hard time affording this" but in terms of "I think I may have to just go the hospital and c-section route because of our financial situation" so that she knows exactly what your situation is. She may be firm in her fee, but maybe she could work out an extended payment plan or something else. No midwife would want you to choose a c-section when its just a matter of finances.
 
1 - 20 of 43 Posts
Top